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Thread: Joke for Girls

  1. Default Joke for Girls

    NICKNAMES
    If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,
    Kate and Sarah .
    If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other
    as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

    EATING OUT
    When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even
    though it's only for £32.50.
    None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they
    want change back.
    When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    MONEY
    A man will pay £2 for
    a£1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

    BATHROOMS
    A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
    cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
    A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

    ARGUMENTS
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument..

    CATS
    Women love cats.
    Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

    FUTURE
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A
    man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    SUCCESS
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    MARRIAGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

    DRESSING UP
    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,
    answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    NATURAL
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    OFFSPRING
    Ah, children. A woman knows all about
    her children.
    She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite
    foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
    A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    A married man should forget his mistakes.
    There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Joke for Girls

    Quote Originally Posted by ebonyspice View Post
    NICKNAMES
    If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,
    Kate and Sarah .
    If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other
    as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

    EATING OUT
    When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even
    though it's only for £32.50.
    None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they
    want change back.
    When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    MONEY
    A man will pay £2 for
    a£1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

    BATHROOMS
    A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
    cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
    A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

    ARGUMENTS
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument..

    CATS
    Women love cats.
    Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

    FUTURE
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A
    man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    SUCCESS
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    MARRIAGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

    DRESSING UP
    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,
    answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    NATURAL
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    OFFSPRING
    Ah, children. A woman knows all about
    her children.
    She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite
    foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
    A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    A married man should forget his mistakes.
    There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

    Funny but don't agree

  3. Default Re: Joke for Girls

    Quote Originally Posted by ebonyspice View Post
    NICKNAMES
    If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,
    Kate and Sarah .
    If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other
    as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

    EATING OUT
    When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even
    though it's only for £32.50.
    None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they
    want change back.
    When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    MONEY
    A man will pay £2 for
    a£1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

    BATHROOMS
    A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
    cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
    A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

    ARGUMENTS
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument..

    CATS
    Women love cats.
    Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

    FUTURE
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A
    man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    SUCCESS
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    MARRIAGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

    DRESSING UP
    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,
    answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    NATURAL
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    OFFSPRING
    Ah, children. A woman knows all about
    her children.
    She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite
    foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
    A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    A married man should forget his mistakes.
    There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
    Hahaha very funny. This made my day!

  4. #4

    Default Re: Joke for Girls

    emale and male department store
    WOMEN...


    A department store opened in New York City that sold men and a woman decides to visit it in search of a husband.
    At the store’s entrance, there’s a sign outlining the department store policy.
    The first rule states that you can only enter the store once.
    There are six floors and on each floor you can choose a husband or elect to move on to the next floor.
    You cannot visit a floor more than once other than to leave the building.
    The woman visits the first floor.
    The sign reads:
    · Men with jobs.
    She moves on to the second floor:
    · Men with jobs that adore children.
    She moves on the the third floor where the sign reads:
    · Wealthy men that adore children and are very handsome.
    She thinks to herself, "that's a very good deal" yet moves on to the fourth floor:
    · Wealthy men that adore children, are very handsome and help with the household chores.
    She decides to move on as things are constantly improving:
    · Wealthy men that adore childern, are very handsome, help with the household chores and are very romantic.
    The woman is about to make her purchase but can't resist moving on to the sixth floor.
    There the sign reads:
    · You are visitor number 31,456,012 on this floor.
    · There are no men here.
    · This floor exists as proof that it is impossible to please women.




    & MEN…


    Opposite this department store, another department store opened that sold women. The sign on the first floor reads:
    · Women that love sex.
    On the second floor the sign reads:
    · Women that love sex and are wealthy.
    On the third floor the sign reads:
    · Women that love sex, are wealthy and have large breasts.


    Not a single man has visited the fourth floor.

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