Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: My Past Does Not Define My Today

  1. #1

    Default My Past Does Not Define My Today

    As I was getting dressed this morning, I was reflecting upon an affirmation I used to say many, many years ago: "My past does not hold me back from my tomorrow."

    As I reflecting upon it, I realized that I don't have to let my past mistakes define who I am today or in the future. As an overweight woman, my mistakes are more visible but that doesn't mean I have to define myself as "a fat pig" or someone who is "out of control with her eating." It merely means that I have a visible reminder of the lessons I have learned on this journey.

    Scarlett O'Hara was known to say "tomorrow is another day." We often make the attribution that she was in denial about the issues facing her. But, what if we were to put another spin on it? What if we were to say that she recognized that what happened today doesn't have to negatively affect her tomorrow? What if "tomorrow is another day" is the voice of empowerment rather than of victimhood of not being able to control our fate?

    The only thing I'd change is that instead of starting over "tomorrow," we can recognize that the past was as recently as 1 second ago and that our future is as close as 1 second ahead. We can literally change our future in a "split second"--those seconds between the past, present, and future.

    The mistakes I've made in the past don't have to be a life sentence. My past does not hold me back from my future.
    Note: I follow the Winning Points program




  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Replies
    18,491

    Smile Re: My Past Does Not Define My Today

    Hi, Julie.

    I remembered it differently, so I looked up her quotes:

    "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow."

    I agree that your past doesn't define you.

    AND, as Dr. Phil says (and I agree), "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior."

    That's why I think you have to decide to do something differently.

    And this quote (posted by CW) relates to making that decision:

    "A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided.
    -Tony Robbins

    That one really made me stop and think.


    It's always fun to bounce ideas around with you, Julie ~ Those wheels in your brain are always turning ~


    .
    May you be happy. May you be well. May you be free from suffering.

    Check out my website! Plant-Powered.com






    .

  3. #3

    Default Re: My Past Does Not Define My Today

    Hey Carol,
    It's the last line of the movie:

    Tara! Home. I'll go home. And I'll think of some way to get him back. After all... tomorrow is another day.
    I've read the book something like 3 times but I can't seem to locate my copy right now to see if the book and the movie match.

    Anyway, you're absolutely right, we have to make the choice to change our future. But I think we get stuck in the "this is who I am" mode because we identify too closely with the mistakes we've made in the past. But by identifying with those mistakes, we remain stuck and never become the person we want to be. The actions/changes may not be easy to make, but, as I read in a book this morning, "we can't get the job if we don't apply."
    Note: I follow the Winning Points program




  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Replies
    18,491

    Thumbs up Re: My Past Does Not Define My Today

    Quote Originally Posted by DrJulieAnn View Post
    But I think we get stuck in the "this is who I am" mode because we identify too closely with the mistakes we've made in the past. But by identifying with those mistakes, we remain stuck and never become the person we want to be.
    Well, I knew it sounded familiar... LOL!

    I like the way you're thinking it through.

    Keep sharing!


    .
    May you be happy. May you be well. May you be free from suffering.

    Check out my website! Plant-Powered.com






    .

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Lancaster, Pennsylvania
    Replies
    11,331

    Default Re: My Past Does Not Define My Today

    Quote Originally Posted by WWCarol View Post
    "A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided.
    -Tony Robbins

    .
    Hey buds, thanks for sharing this Julie and Carol! The quote above reminds me about what we say in psychology/education. How do we know that learning has taken place? Because there is a CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR. We really can't tell learning has taken place without that! Of course that change in behavior could be represented by filling in a circle with a number two pencil, but the point is, there really is no evidence of learning, unless there is a CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR....

    All of this closely related to the Healthy Habit: Learning from experience! We haven't LEARNED if we haven't changed the behavior....the future starts NOW...like Julie said, the past is the previous SECOND.....

  6. #6

    Default Re: My Past Does Not Define My Today

    Quote Originally Posted by wwlynn View Post
    Hhe quote above reminds me about what we say in psychology/education. How do we know that learning has taken place? Because there is a CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR. We really can't tell learning has taken place without that! Of course that change in behavior could be represented by filling in a circle with a number two pencil, but the point is, there really is no evidence of learning, unless there is a CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR....
    ((The cognitive psychology part of me about had a heart attack when you were talking about change of behavior being the only proof of learning... thank goodness you brought in the #2 pencils Ironically, I was doing a workshop on grading the other day was pointing out that grading is really just an extrapolation of different forms of evidence that learning has taken place since sometimes the change in behavior is hard to see...but back to our topic)

    I think it is imperative that we learn from our experience. One of my "pet peeves" is when someone comes to the BCB board seeking absolution for pigging out and then getting upset with us when we give them . If we don't learn from our experience then how can we change? We'll be stuck---we'll be defined by our past instead of our future.

    As you know, almost a year ago I decided to really start exploring those emotional issues that have held me back from achieving my health goals. So far, I've lost 6 pounds in the past year. But I was playing with the same 3 pounds for the first 9 months of the year. Digging deeper and deeper...not worrying so much about the numbers but trying to learn from the fears.

    It is interesting that when I finally decided to let go of my past, that I stopped playing with those three pounds and three more seemed to melt away. I still need to count points because it is my "touchstone" to remind me that I've released my "heart hunger" and am not really hungry, probably just bored or that the *food porn* is not really what I want.

    My past, and all of the heartache that went with it, is just that. My past. And my past does not keep me from the future I want for myself.
    Note: I follow the Winning Points program




  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Lancaster, Pennsylvania
    Replies
    11,331

    Default Re: My Past Does Not Define My Today

    Don't worry, Julie, I am definitely a cognitive psychologist! In fact I used to be totally psychoanalytic!!!

    So no one finds it more startling/amusing than I do I start sounding....

    almost....

    like....


    a......

    .....
    behaviorist!

    But really...I definitely am cognitive....maybe a little cognitive/behavioral...

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    southern Virginia
    Replies
    3,365

    Default Re: My Past Does Not Define My Today

    Julie, all my life, I've seen Scarlett O'Hara in a negative light. It was my mother's favorite movie and I think she saw Scarlett as "shallow," maybe because she didn't worry about "tomorrow." As time has gone on, I've realized that Scarlett was really not shallow...she was smart and resourceful. And worrying about tomorrow DOES take your focus off today....the place where you need to pay your most attention. My mother's life was very tragic and she was very unhappy. She worried constantly about past, present, and future, medicating with alcohol, I believe that she thought her problems were much greater than anything Scarlett ever encountered, so that she deserved some medicating. I'm sorry to say that I tend to have somewhat of the same worry tendency, and I suppose I medicate with food. I don't share her philosophy that I "deserve" anything to squash my problems, though....I continue to work on (and have made progress with) coping in more productive ways. I actually enjoy getting older (in most ways!) and look forward to the future being better than my past, because I'm wiser each day.

    Just writing that helped...thanks!
    ---Katie, CEO of Me, Inc & living my new-normal
    highest:375(fall '98),5'4"//11-19-08 WW restart:277//current:247//2nd 10%:225//NEXT MINI GOAL:239//goal:150
    *He leadeth me.

  9. #9

    Default Re: My Past Does Not Define My Today

    Katie,
    Have you read the book? The Scarlett in the movie is sooooo different than the Scarlett in the book. I love the book; hate how she is portrayed in the movie. In the book, this teenager, a widow at 16 with a baby, is suddenly thrust into the role of head of the extended family because no one else can/will do it. In the book, she does her best with the cards that are dealt her and puts her own self-interest (and fears) aside to take care of the family. Unfortunately, she discovers that her one true love is really Rhett and not Ashley (that wimp of a man who continues to lead Scarlett on because he lusts after her strength).

    You said:
    I actually enjoy getting older (in most ways!) and look forward to the future being better than my past, because I'm wiser each day.
    Hear, hear, Sister! Hear, hear! I'm with you on that!
    Note: I follow the Winning Points program




  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Replies
    18,491

    Lightbulb Re: My Past Does Not Define My Today

    Quote Originally Posted by DrJulieAnn View Post
    My past, and all of the heartache that went with it, is just that. My past. And my past does not keep me from the future I want for myself.
    The other day Dr. P was talking to someone who had experienced a life tragedy. He said, "I know right now you are reading from the book of pain every day...

    And someday I hope that you can put that book on a high top shelf, and leave it there...
    "

    I think that's a great analogy for someone who has experienced life pain.

    It resonated with me.






    You're making me want to read Gone With The Wind again!


    .
    May you be happy. May you be well. May you be free from suffering.

    Check out my website! Plant-Powered.com






    .

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Tampa Bay area
    Replies
    2,336

    Default Re: My Past Does Not Define My Today

    Excellent learnings, ladies!
    Veronica the Pushy Core Zealot
    SW 196.2 - 7/3/6
    WWGW 146.0 - down 50.2 in 24 weeks!
    CW 131 - 65.2 lbs gone FOREVER!
    Lifetime - 2/12/7
    My Chart Before & After
    Simul justus et peccator

  12. #12
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    southern Virginia
    Replies
    3,365

    Default Re: My Past Does Not Define My Today

    Julie, haven't read the book, but I will now! Thanks!
    ---Katie, CEO of Me, Inc & living my new-normal
    highest:375(fall '98),5'4"//11-19-08 WW restart:277//current:247//2nd 10%:225//NEXT MINI GOAL:239//goal:150
    *He leadeth me.

  13. #13

    Default Re: My Past Does Not Define My Today

    This
    Unfortunately, she discovers that her one true love is really Rhett and not Ashley (that wimp of a man who continues to lead Scarlett on because he lusts after her strength).

    Should say:
    Unfortunately, she discovers too late that her one true love is really Rhett and not Ashley (that wimp of a man who continues to lead Scarlett on because he lusts after her strength).
    Note: I follow the Winning Points program




Similar Threads

  1. I can't get past it...
    By Mutesounds in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 05-28-2008, 09:37 AM
  2. 10% and past that darn 200!
    By Twisted Turnip in forum Goal Getters
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 03-02-2008, 03:02 PM
  3. A Blast of the Past!
    By OnTargetForLife in forum Fantastic 20's, 30's & 40's!
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-24-2007, 08:14 PM
  4. A blast from the past.....
    By OnTargetForLife in forum Fantastic 20's, 30's & 40's!
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 08-20-2004, 10:32 AM
  5. A voice from the past
    By Merikathryn in forum Fit & Sexy 50s and Beyond!
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 06-22-2004, 02:05 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •