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Thread: Why You Don't Take Men to the Store With You

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    St George, Utah

    Default Why You Don't Take Men to the Store With You


    After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her
    trips to Target.

    Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
    preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women -
    - she loved to browse.

    Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the
    local Target.

    Dear Mrs. Samsel,

    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
    commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to
    ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed
    below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of ******* and randomly put them in
    people's carts when they weren't looking.
    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
    5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
    the women's restroom..

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
    voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
    M&M's on layaway.

    6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
    other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
    from the bedding department.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
    crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used
    it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
    he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
    humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

    12.. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
    'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
    through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
    he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

    And last, but not least.

    15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
    awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
    Starting weight. 301.4
    Current weight. 295.4
    1st mini goal. 285
    2nd mini goal. 275
    3rd mini goal. 265.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Charlotte, NC

    Default Re: Why You Don't Take Men to the Store With You

    that was soooo funny! When i get married I will not subject my husband to Target!

  3. #3

    Default Re: Why You Don't Take Men to the Store With You

    There are some GOOD ONES in there! Thankfully my wife is too kind and too smart to force to shop! At least not too often...

  4. #4

    Default Re: Why You Don't Take Men to the Store With You

    This is great! My husband doesn't know what's worse; having to go to Target with me or letting me shop unsupervised.

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