foxfieldco
06-06-2004, 09:13 AM
Getting Past The Past
~~ Looking Back, Heading Forward
If you've had a bad experience with weight loss in the past, it can be hard not to associate your current goals with your previous trials. Maybe you got down to the weight you wanted to be, then gained it all back. Perhaps you felt hungry the entire time you were trying to lose, and ended up quitting because you felt frustrated.
Focusing on your weight-loss rearview mirror can stop you from paying attention to what's ahead. Sure, there's a lot to be learned from the mistakes you've made, but it's equally important for you to learn to let go of the past. Keep reading for help.
~Use Your Review Mirror
You've probably heard your Leader or other Meetings Members saying the phrase, "There's no such thing as failure, only feedback." And it's true, there's a lesson to be learned from every lapse you've ever suffered, and every regain you've had to endure.
The trick is finding that lesson, so do your homework. Really think about and identify the past behaviors that caused you to lose track of your weight-loss goals, then determine whether you're grappling with any emotional attachments to those lapses.
Let's say, for example, that you made it to your weight goal once before, only to gain all the weight back and then some. If this "failure" has caused you to feel or say bad things about your current abilities — "Maybe I'm destined to be overweight," for example — it's going to be hard to move ahead with the goals you have today.
With time and determination, though, you can let go. Try these steps:
Identify the negative experiences you return to when you doubt your abilities. When you're feeling weakest, which parts of your weight-loss past come to mind?
Familiarize yourself with the tools that can help keep your past from interfering with your current plans. For example, try Mental Rehearsing from Weight Watchers Tools For Living.
Practice Positive Self-Talking. Instead of the negative statements that you developed during the bad experiences of your past, make a point to say things that will help you move forward. For example, instead of "Maybe I'm destined to be overweight," say, "I'm destined to be thin."
Remembering what went wrong in the past will help you know what will and will not work this time around. But constantly having your eyes on the rearview mirror will make it impossible to steer a straight course for the future.
So make peace with your past and focus on today's journey.
~~ Is Your Past Hindering Your Weight Loss Efforts?
Take our quiz to find out if bad weight-loss experiences of your past are preventing you from giving it your all this time.
~ Close your eyes and think back to your childhood. What's the first
idea/image that pops into your head?
__ Playing kickball in the playground.
__ Kids making fun of me about my weight.
__ Mom nagging me about dieting.
~ According to your own Dieting Experience Rating, how would you rate
your past weight-loss efforts?
__ 5 stars for horrifying. Nothing has worked!
__ 5 stars for frustrating. Most of my efforts have worked, but I
always managed to gain the weight back.
__ My efforts in the past haven‘t been significant enough to rate.
~ We all care what others think. What are you afraid they'll say
about this weight loss go-around?
__ Nothing.
__ "You gonna stick to it this time?"
__ "Yeah, right!"
~ Your sister has never been the best cheerleader. In fact, she tends
to make you feel bad about trying new things. How do you include
her in your weight loss efforts?
__ I don‘t. I avoid her at all costs.
__ I tell her I‘m trying and let her know how she can help.
__ I tell her I‘m trying and ignore her when she jokes about it.
~ Last time you lost weight, it felt:
__ Awesome!
__ Overwhelming.
__ Great, but short-lived.
~ What's your main weight-loss motivator?
__ My health and happiness.
__ To look like a skinny model on the beach.
__ To not let my partner down again.
~ Complete this sentence: My closet is filled with:
__ Clothes from every size in my weight loss history.
__ Clothes in my current size only. To keep clothes that don‘t fit
is torture.
__ Clothes in my current size and a few sizes larger — just in case
my weight goes up again.
~ A friend invites you to attend a Weight Watchers Meeting with her.
You respond:
__ "Yes. I am ready to do something about this."
__ "I will go to see what it is all about."
__ "Weight loss does not work for me."
Your past may be getting in the way of your efforts.
If you've had painful experiences with weight loss in the past, it can be hard to pursue a weight goal again with a fresh approach. What if [insert painful memory here] happens again? This time, suggests Dr. Misty Hook, assistant professor of psychology at Texas Woman's University in Denton, Texas, "try to make your efforts about you, not about others and not about the past." Past efforts that were damaging have negative associations. But if you have positive associations with weight loss, too, like fitting into new clothes or feeling healthier emotionally and physically, focus on those instead. Remember, says Hook, "if you focus on failure, you're more likely to fail again."
You're taking a fresh first step toward weight loss!
You've taken control of your weight loss past and are all for a fresh start! Sure, maybe you've hit some rough spots before. But this time, you're doing it for you, and you're in it for the long haul. To make sure your healthy enthusiasm stays strong, suggests Palma Posillico, general manager of training and development for Weight Watchers International, work on strengthening your beliefs in your own capability.
~~ Getting Over The Exercise Guilts
Does this sound familiar? You skipped your workout today — and yesterday. In fact, you haven't been for a walk all week. You try blaming the busy holidays for getting in the way of your exercise plans — you ran out of time, you forgot, you felt too tired to go to the gym...
Feeling guilty? Don't worry. We all do sometimes. And, interestingly, guilt is often about the things we haven't done rather than things we have. We can get the exercise guilts for the same reason we occasionally feel guilty about not spending enough time on our work, with our family or on our relationships: We generally expect too much of ourselves.
So the exercise program you planned just last week has gone bottoms up and you're so mad with yourself you could just bag the whole idea. First of all, put it in perspective: One workout missed does not a complete failure make. Ava Walker, PhD, associate director of research at the University of Minnesota's Laboratory of Physiological Hygiene, says, "The guilt will probably happen before anything physiological happens." She advises guilt-ridden exercisers not to worry about getting out of shape because of a day or two of missed exercise, as it can take up to 12 days before significant physiological changes occur.
~ Guilt Be Gone
Feeling better? Good. Now, here are five strategies to make getting over the guilts work for you and help you get back on the exercise track:
Be honest with yourself about what you can do and what you like to do. Hate running? Then don't. Choose instead to kick a ball around with the kids or walk briskly with the dog. And be realistic about your exercise goals. Don't plan a regime that would better suit an Olympic athlete. Everybody is different — and different things work for different people.
Start out slowly. Don't be overly ambitious. Rather, plan to add a block, a lap, or an extra few minutes of exercise as the weeks pass. Remember: Experts agree that between 30 and 60 minutes of activity most days of the week is about right — and that includes planned exercise and incidental activities such as walking up stairs.
Measure yourself by your progress, not your perfection. Perfection isn't the goal anyway. Fitness is, and that is achievable. Instead of tracking your time, see how many lampposts you can pass on your walks, or how many more blocks you can do.
Make exercise appointments with yourself to help keep on track, and treat them as seriously as you would any other appointment.
Forgive yourself when you miss a day of planned exercise. Some exercise is better than none, and getting into the habit of exercise, even if you miss a day here or there, is what counts. Georgia Kostas, director of nutrition at the Cooper Clinic in Dallas, advises those trying to exercise and lose weight to remember two things: "Something is better than nothing" and "every little bit counts."
~~ Is Your Biology Your Destiny?
If you have a history of heart disease in your family, you're not destined for a heart attack. "It just means your risk is higher because of your family history and genetic make-up," says Karen Miller-Kovach, MS, RD, Weight Watchers chief scientist.
The same holds true with weight. "If you have two parents who are on the big side, you have a greater chance of being big yourself, but that doesn't mean you have to be. Biology isn't destiny," Miller-Kovach says.
To date, at least 25 genes have been identified that affect weight, says Miller-Kovach. For example, "we now know that genes can affect appetite, food preferences, your sense of smell, how appealing food is, whether you have a fat tooth or a sweet tooth, even your propensity to exercise," says Miller-Kovach.
Still, on average, according to F. Xavier Pi-Sunyer, MD, an obesity researcher at St. Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital in New York City, your weight is only 40 percent determined by genetics; 60 percent is determined by your behavior and environment. Moreover, "your genes will be expressed differently according to your behavior and environment," Pi-Sunyer says. By eating right and getting plenty of exercise, for example, any weight-gain genes you may have will have less chance to express themselves, Pi-Sunyer says.
~ Designer Genes
Bottomline: "You can override your genes," says Miller-Kovach. To do so, Miller-Kovach suggests using your genetic make-up to fine-tune your diet and weed out tactics that aren't an issue for you. (Look to family members for clues as to what your genetic predispositions might be.)
For example, if you think you may have a genetic bias towards say, favoring salty snacks and having little urge to exercise - perhaps you come from a long line of sessile potato chip lovers, "those are areas you should concentrate on," says Miller-Kovach. But if you don't inherently have a sweet tooth, "then eliminating dessert from your diet shouldn't be one of your dieting strategies," Miller-Kovach says.
All told, "if you have a genetic tendency towards weight gain, you have to work harder at changing that than someone who isn't inclined that way," says Miller-Kovach. "But your genetic make-up can help you pinpoint your areas of weakness."
~~ No More Excuses!
If your best friend talked to you the way you talk to yourself, chances are you'd never meet for coffee again. Yet many of us spend hours every day filling our heads with negative thoughts.
Inner-talk goes something like this: I'm too old. I'm too busy. I'm ugly. I'm overweight. I'm a failure. I'm just too comfortable to change. And the real doozy - I can't.
It's a short step from thinking these things to using them as reasons (read: excuses) for not doing any one of 101 things we could so easily do - if we just had the inner-strength and self-belief to try.
Noted writer Aldous Huxley sagely said, "several excuses are always less convincing than one." So what is your one excuse? Does it come down to "I'm too scared to take the chance."
Remember what writer and motivational speaker Robert H. Schuller once said:
"The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking."
Oprah Winfrey credits Dr. Phillip C. McGraw with helping her win the Amarillo beef trial. His book, Life Strategies, (Vermilion, 1999), is subtitled "Stop Making Excuses"! It revolves around ten simple-yet-powerful Life Laws.
"Do what works, do what matters," McGraw advises. And those excuses? McGraw says they simply argue your limitations; he refers to them as the "thoughts and beliefs that you use to sabotage yourself in every endeavor you undertake."
No-Excuse Exercises
Try these tips for ridding your plan of excuses:
~ Get positive.
Turn every negative self-statement inside out. Instead of saying "I'm too busy" (to change, to lose weight, to tackle learning a new skill) say, "I want to do this enough that I will make time." Somehow.
Surround yourself with positive people. Friends, relatives, coworkers, even the Weight Watchers Success Stories. If someone starts to chip away at your resolve, take a rain check on their company.
Like yourself. Sure you have faults and failings, but at least you know what you are working on. That is step one in fixing them.
~ Get in control.
As McGraw says: "Life is managed; it is not cured." Learn to take charge of your life and hold on. This is a long ride, and you are the driver every single day.
~~ Looking Back, Heading Forward
If you've had a bad experience with weight loss in the past, it can be hard not to associate your current goals with your previous trials. Maybe you got down to the weight you wanted to be, then gained it all back. Perhaps you felt hungry the entire time you were trying to lose, and ended up quitting because you felt frustrated.
Focusing on your weight-loss rearview mirror can stop you from paying attention to what's ahead. Sure, there's a lot to be learned from the mistakes you've made, but it's equally important for you to learn to let go of the past. Keep reading for help.
~Use Your Review Mirror
You've probably heard your Leader or other Meetings Members saying the phrase, "There's no such thing as failure, only feedback." And it's true, there's a lesson to be learned from every lapse you've ever suffered, and every regain you've had to endure.
The trick is finding that lesson, so do your homework. Really think about and identify the past behaviors that caused you to lose track of your weight-loss goals, then determine whether you're grappling with any emotional attachments to those lapses.
Let's say, for example, that you made it to your weight goal once before, only to gain all the weight back and then some. If this "failure" has caused you to feel or say bad things about your current abilities — "Maybe I'm destined to be overweight," for example — it's going to be hard to move ahead with the goals you have today.
With time and determination, though, you can let go. Try these steps:
Identify the negative experiences you return to when you doubt your abilities. When you're feeling weakest, which parts of your weight-loss past come to mind?
Familiarize yourself with the tools that can help keep your past from interfering with your current plans. For example, try Mental Rehearsing from Weight Watchers Tools For Living.
Practice Positive Self-Talking. Instead of the negative statements that you developed during the bad experiences of your past, make a point to say things that will help you move forward. For example, instead of "Maybe I'm destined to be overweight," say, "I'm destined to be thin."
Remembering what went wrong in the past will help you know what will and will not work this time around. But constantly having your eyes on the rearview mirror will make it impossible to steer a straight course for the future.
So make peace with your past and focus on today's journey.
~~ Is Your Past Hindering Your Weight Loss Efforts?
Take our quiz to find out if bad weight-loss experiences of your past are preventing you from giving it your all this time.
~ Close your eyes and think back to your childhood. What's the first
idea/image that pops into your head?
__ Playing kickball in the playground.
__ Kids making fun of me about my weight.
__ Mom nagging me about dieting.
~ According to your own Dieting Experience Rating, how would you rate
your past weight-loss efforts?
__ 5 stars for horrifying. Nothing has worked!
__ 5 stars for frustrating. Most of my efforts have worked, but I
always managed to gain the weight back.
__ My efforts in the past haven‘t been significant enough to rate.
~ We all care what others think. What are you afraid they'll say
about this weight loss go-around?
__ Nothing.
__ "You gonna stick to it this time?"
__ "Yeah, right!"
~ Your sister has never been the best cheerleader. In fact, she tends
to make you feel bad about trying new things. How do you include
her in your weight loss efforts?
__ I don‘t. I avoid her at all costs.
__ I tell her I‘m trying and let her know how she can help.
__ I tell her I‘m trying and ignore her when she jokes about it.
~ Last time you lost weight, it felt:
__ Awesome!
__ Overwhelming.
__ Great, but short-lived.
~ What's your main weight-loss motivator?
__ My health and happiness.
__ To look like a skinny model on the beach.
__ To not let my partner down again.
~ Complete this sentence: My closet is filled with:
__ Clothes from every size in my weight loss history.
__ Clothes in my current size only. To keep clothes that don‘t fit
is torture.
__ Clothes in my current size and a few sizes larger — just in case
my weight goes up again.
~ A friend invites you to attend a Weight Watchers Meeting with her.
You respond:
__ "Yes. I am ready to do something about this."
__ "I will go to see what it is all about."
__ "Weight loss does not work for me."
Your past may be getting in the way of your efforts.
If you've had painful experiences with weight loss in the past, it can be hard to pursue a weight goal again with a fresh approach. What if [insert painful memory here] happens again? This time, suggests Dr. Misty Hook, assistant professor of psychology at Texas Woman's University in Denton, Texas, "try to make your efforts about you, not about others and not about the past." Past efforts that were damaging have negative associations. But if you have positive associations with weight loss, too, like fitting into new clothes or feeling healthier emotionally and physically, focus on those instead. Remember, says Hook, "if you focus on failure, you're more likely to fail again."
You're taking a fresh first step toward weight loss!
You've taken control of your weight loss past and are all for a fresh start! Sure, maybe you've hit some rough spots before. But this time, you're doing it for you, and you're in it for the long haul. To make sure your healthy enthusiasm stays strong, suggests Palma Posillico, general manager of training and development for Weight Watchers International, work on strengthening your beliefs in your own capability.
~~ Getting Over The Exercise Guilts
Does this sound familiar? You skipped your workout today — and yesterday. In fact, you haven't been for a walk all week. You try blaming the busy holidays for getting in the way of your exercise plans — you ran out of time, you forgot, you felt too tired to go to the gym...
Feeling guilty? Don't worry. We all do sometimes. And, interestingly, guilt is often about the things we haven't done rather than things we have. We can get the exercise guilts for the same reason we occasionally feel guilty about not spending enough time on our work, with our family or on our relationships: We generally expect too much of ourselves.
So the exercise program you planned just last week has gone bottoms up and you're so mad with yourself you could just bag the whole idea. First of all, put it in perspective: One workout missed does not a complete failure make. Ava Walker, PhD, associate director of research at the University of Minnesota's Laboratory of Physiological Hygiene, says, "The guilt will probably happen before anything physiological happens." She advises guilt-ridden exercisers not to worry about getting out of shape because of a day or two of missed exercise, as it can take up to 12 days before significant physiological changes occur.
~ Guilt Be Gone
Feeling better? Good. Now, here are five strategies to make getting over the guilts work for you and help you get back on the exercise track:
Be honest with yourself about what you can do and what you like to do. Hate running? Then don't. Choose instead to kick a ball around with the kids or walk briskly with the dog. And be realistic about your exercise goals. Don't plan a regime that would better suit an Olympic athlete. Everybody is different — and different things work for different people.
Start out slowly. Don't be overly ambitious. Rather, plan to add a block, a lap, or an extra few minutes of exercise as the weeks pass. Remember: Experts agree that between 30 and 60 minutes of activity most days of the week is about right — and that includes planned exercise and incidental activities such as walking up stairs.
Measure yourself by your progress, not your perfection. Perfection isn't the goal anyway. Fitness is, and that is achievable. Instead of tracking your time, see how many lampposts you can pass on your walks, or how many more blocks you can do.
Make exercise appointments with yourself to help keep on track, and treat them as seriously as you would any other appointment.
Forgive yourself when you miss a day of planned exercise. Some exercise is better than none, and getting into the habit of exercise, even if you miss a day here or there, is what counts. Georgia Kostas, director of nutrition at the Cooper Clinic in Dallas, advises those trying to exercise and lose weight to remember two things: "Something is better than nothing" and "every little bit counts."
~~ Is Your Biology Your Destiny?
If you have a history of heart disease in your family, you're not destined for a heart attack. "It just means your risk is higher because of your family history and genetic make-up," says Karen Miller-Kovach, MS, RD, Weight Watchers chief scientist.
The same holds true with weight. "If you have two parents who are on the big side, you have a greater chance of being big yourself, but that doesn't mean you have to be. Biology isn't destiny," Miller-Kovach says.
To date, at least 25 genes have been identified that affect weight, says Miller-Kovach. For example, "we now know that genes can affect appetite, food preferences, your sense of smell, how appealing food is, whether you have a fat tooth or a sweet tooth, even your propensity to exercise," says Miller-Kovach.
Still, on average, according to F. Xavier Pi-Sunyer, MD, an obesity researcher at St. Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital in New York City, your weight is only 40 percent determined by genetics; 60 percent is determined by your behavior and environment. Moreover, "your genes will be expressed differently according to your behavior and environment," Pi-Sunyer says. By eating right and getting plenty of exercise, for example, any weight-gain genes you may have will have less chance to express themselves, Pi-Sunyer says.
~ Designer Genes
Bottomline: "You can override your genes," says Miller-Kovach. To do so, Miller-Kovach suggests using your genetic make-up to fine-tune your diet and weed out tactics that aren't an issue for you. (Look to family members for clues as to what your genetic predispositions might be.)
For example, if you think you may have a genetic bias towards say, favoring salty snacks and having little urge to exercise - perhaps you come from a long line of sessile potato chip lovers, "those are areas you should concentrate on," says Miller-Kovach. But if you don't inherently have a sweet tooth, "then eliminating dessert from your diet shouldn't be one of your dieting strategies," Miller-Kovach says.
All told, "if you have a genetic tendency towards weight gain, you have to work harder at changing that than someone who isn't inclined that way," says Miller-Kovach. "But your genetic make-up can help you pinpoint your areas of weakness."
~~ No More Excuses!
If your best friend talked to you the way you talk to yourself, chances are you'd never meet for coffee again. Yet many of us spend hours every day filling our heads with negative thoughts.
Inner-talk goes something like this: I'm too old. I'm too busy. I'm ugly. I'm overweight. I'm a failure. I'm just too comfortable to change. And the real doozy - I can't.
It's a short step from thinking these things to using them as reasons (read: excuses) for not doing any one of 101 things we could so easily do - if we just had the inner-strength and self-belief to try.
Noted writer Aldous Huxley sagely said, "several excuses are always less convincing than one." So what is your one excuse? Does it come down to "I'm too scared to take the chance."
Remember what writer and motivational speaker Robert H. Schuller once said:
"The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking."
Oprah Winfrey credits Dr. Phillip C. McGraw with helping her win the Amarillo beef trial. His book, Life Strategies, (Vermilion, 1999), is subtitled "Stop Making Excuses"! It revolves around ten simple-yet-powerful Life Laws.
"Do what works, do what matters," McGraw advises. And those excuses? McGraw says they simply argue your limitations; he refers to them as the "thoughts and beliefs that you use to sabotage yourself in every endeavor you undertake."
No-Excuse Exercises
Try these tips for ridding your plan of excuses:
~ Get positive.
Turn every negative self-statement inside out. Instead of saying "I'm too busy" (to change, to lose weight, to tackle learning a new skill) say, "I want to do this enough that I will make time." Somehow.
Surround yourself with positive people. Friends, relatives, coworkers, even the Weight Watchers Success Stories. If someone starts to chip away at your resolve, take a rain check on their company.
Like yourself. Sure you have faults and failings, but at least you know what you are working on. That is step one in fixing them.
~ Get in control.
As McGraw says: "Life is managed; it is not cured." Learn to take charge of your life and hold on. This is a long ride, and you are the driver every single day.