foxfieldco
03-19-2004, 09:29 PM
Walk a Mile In a Success Story's Shoes
When you're bored or you've been struggling with your weight-loss
efforts, it's easy to say you've tried everything, and to create a
mental lock that prevents you from being open to new ideas for old
challenges.
But it's new perspectives — new points of view — that will
get you
past those tough parts, and if you've ever wished you could hand your
challenges off to experts for suggestions and ideas, there's good
news: You can. Everybody's weight-loss experience is different, and
each successful person finds a new way to face obstacles. So you can
ask any person who has found success for some ideas, and find
inspiration in her originality.
With a Little Help…
Walking in someone else's shoes can make an incredible difference.
You've probably heard your Leader or other Meetings Members talking
about some of the great sources of weight-loss success. You can look:
At your Meetings.
At the Success Stories.
In the Community.
Among your friends and family.
The next time you're stuck on a problem, just look around and ask for
help. Remember, when you're looking for obstacles, you'll find
obstacles. And when you're looking for solutions, you'll find
solutions. Keep this quote in mind:
"Things don't change.
You change your way of looking, that's all."
—Carlos Castaneda
~~
Six Sure-Fire Ways to Ask for Help
When you're making a difficult change in your life — and even
when
you're not — asking for help can be hard. There are so many
reasons
to just keep quiet: You don't want to burden people. You don't want
to hear "I told you so." You don't want to admit you're having a hard
time.
But help can be useful and necessary. "We all need so much help to
succeed," says Dorothy Leeds, author of The 7 Powers of Questions
(Perigee, 2000). Leeds points out that businesswomen, stay-at-home
moms and even dieters need a hand to hold from time to time. It's not
easy, though: "A lot of women feel they don't deserve it," she
says. "They're shy, and asking for help is a new habit."
But it's a habit worth learning, because the surprise is that most
people are eager and willing to help. The trick is asking in a way
you'll feel good about, but which will also get you what you need. In
fact, assertiveness is actually an important part of weight-loss
success.
The Right Questions
"Two of the greatest all-time questions," says Leeds, who does
lectures and workshops on how to ask for help effectively, "are 'Can
I help you?' and 'Can you help me?'" Ask these questions in the right
way, and people will love to give you a hand.
So what's the right way?
Ask for help at a time that's good for the other person. Say "I want
to ask you something. When's a good time for me to do that?"
Explain how important it is and why.
If the person says yes, ask how much he or she can help, and if
there's a deadline, whether he or she can meet it.
If the person you ask can't meet the deadline, try the following
question: "When do you think you can do it?"
Consider whom you're asking. Try not to overburden people who are
already overburdened.
Most important, offer something in return.
These six steps can be applied to any challenge you're facing,
whether it's at work, at home, or with your plans for weight-loss.
Have too much in your to-do box? Too many dishes piled up in the
sink? Too much trouble staying away from the Sour Cream and Onion
chips the kids bring home? Ask for help using the strategies above.
And try these other tips as well:
At work …
"The people who succeed at work," says Leeds, "are the ones who build
a network, reaching out and asking for help and to be involved." Try
the six tips above, and these as well:
"Ask your boss to help you help him or her," says Leeds. It will save
time for both of you and indicate your skills and dedication.
Ask for help from the people who work for you if you are a manager
—
and from the people around you if you're not.
Make a list. What are your top priorities? What do you need help with
and from whom?
Write thank-you notes, even if they're just little ones on e-mail.
Colleagues will want to help you again the next time if they know you
appreciate their assistance.
At home …
"We tend not to ask for help at home because we feel we won't get
it," says Leeds. Don't fall into that trap — if you ask the right
way, you can get all the help you need from your family. In addition
to the six steps above, try these tips:
Don't demand. Say, "It would really make a big difference to me if
you would help."
Learn how to delegate. "At home, I see parents not asking kids to do
anything — especially perfectionists, who feel it's not worth the
time to train. We have to ask everyone to help us." Kids like to help
because it makes them feel important.
Make helping fun for kids, and give them a reward when they do a
great job. Ask them: "If you help me do this, what can I do to make
something fun for you?"
With your diet …
The best thing about questions, says Leeds, is that they put you in
control, whether you're asking for help or for more information. And,
she says, "the more in control we feel in our lives, the happier we
are" — a perfect first step toward lasting weight loss. Add these
tips to the six steps above:
Know the purpose behind the question you're asking, and don't be
afraid to say it: Why would it help you if there were no potato chips
in the house? Because it's hard for you to resist? Then say so.
Explain exactly why what you're asking for is important to you. "It's
the words in the question and the way we ask it," says Leeds, that
make it a great help-getter.
Be willing to offer help as well. Says Leeds: "The people who get the
most help are the people who are helpful to others."
~~
Don't Do It Alone...
Many people believe that dieting is a solo endeavor. After all,
weight loss is simply eating less and exercising more and that's
something that you should be able to do on your own... right?
A study in the September 2000 issue of the American Journal of
Medicine* shows otherwise. This study provides the six-month results
of a two-year study supported by the Weight Watchers Foundation.
Conducted at six obesity research centers around the US, 423
overweight people were randomly assigned to lose weight either on
their own or with Weight Watchers. (To help the people assigned to
the self-help group get started, each person had two individual
sessions with a Registered Dietitian and was provided publicly
available information about how to lose weight in a safe and healthy
way.)
After six months, the Weight Watchers group lost, on average, more
weight than their self-help counterparts. In fact, 53 percent of the
Weight Watchers group lost at least 5 percent of their body weight
(the amount of weight loss generally accepted to result in
significant health benefits). Only 16 percent of the self-help group
achieved this weight-loss milestone. Moreover, the Weight Watchers
group also had significantly smaller waistlines and less body fat
than the self-help group.
In addition to weight loss, homocysteine levels (a marker for heart
disease found in the blood) were measured in a sub-group of the study
participants after the third month. Homocysteine levels improved in
the Weight Watchers group and deteriorated in the self-help group.
While the exact reason for this finding is unclear, it appears to be
related to a superior nutritional intake for the Weight Watchers
group.
The bottom line? The findings from this study indicate that you are
more likely to have greater weight-loss success with Weight Watchers
than you will if you try to diet on your own.
* Heshka, S, Greenway, F, Anderson, JW et al. Self-help weight loss
versus a structured commercial program after 26 weeks: a randomized
controlled study. Am. J. Med. 2000; 109; 282-287.
~~
Weight-Loss Firsts
In the spirit of a brand-new year, we asked our Community users what
sorts of things they've done for the first time ever — or the
first
time in ages — since losing weight. Some wrote that they can fit
into
clothes they haven't worn in years, others are fitter than they've
ever been. Here are some of the inspiring and often funny posts our
readers shared. After you've read them, you might want to post some
of your own achievements. And don't think you need to be at your
weight goal to be celebrating such firsts: Noting these kinds of
milestones during your weight loss journey can help motivate you
to "go all the way."
Community Firsts
"For the first time in my life, I truly feel healthy. And for the
first time since age 10, I am a healthy weight for my height."
"I can run for several minutes on the treadmill. I used to pant and
sweat like crazy just doing a fast walk."
"I have muscles — and can flex them to impress my fiancé!"
"I can pass on desserts at work luncheons or buffets."
"The biggest first for me has been buttoning a size 10 jacket I
bought almost four years ago. I have never been able to button that
jacket, and now I can. Yippee!"
"I willingly have pictures taken and actually look at myself in
mirrors."
"I [can] wear a pair of gym shoes I couldn't get into last year. My
feet were too swollen."
"My wedding ring slides off easily again!"
"[I wear] pant suits without control-top hosiery — I love being
able
to wear knee highs!"
"I can wear some of my teenage daughter's clothes!"
"People come to me for fitness advice!"
"My ex-husband suddenly realized I was really beautiful and had lost
a lot of weight. He actually told me so. That was the best."
"I can put on my leather jacket and the arms aren't tight."
"I don't have 'losing weight' as a New Year's resolution for 2002!"
~~
Weight Loss Confidential
Sheila started attending Weight Watchers Meetings in December, and
decided then that, for the most part, she'd keep her weight loss
efforts a secret.
"On Christmas, at my husband's family party, I ate small portions and
didn't tell anyone except one sister-in-law," says Sheila. "I just
didn't want to walk in and announce my plans to everyone."
Sheila's decision to keep her weight loss plans private is a common
one — many people working toward a weight goal feel like it's
nobody's business, and that telling the world is a lot of pressure,
plus a good way to encourage criticism. In fact, in a recent Weight
Watchers.com poll, 56 percent of respondents said they told some
people about their efforts, but kept them a secret from others. Eight
percent said they told absolutely nobody, and 35 percent said they
told the whole world.
Susan, another Meetings member and a Weight Watchers eTools
subscriber, didn't tell anyone either when she first started the
plan. But once she started to see success, she says, she let her
family in on her secret, and soon she was telling almost everybody.
Sure, it meant extra pressure: "Some people I can talk to, and some
are just too competitive," she says. "I don't like them to ask me
about my weight loss every week."
But for the most part, spilling the secret was worth it for
Susan. "When you succeed at something, you've done a good job and you
deserve nice comments," she says.
Spill It, or Keep It a Secret?
There's no right or wrong way, says Palma Posillico, general manager
of training and development for Weight Watchers International. "It's
what works best for you." Here are the pros and cons of each option,
according to Posillico and Dr. Howard Rankin, a Hilton Head Island,
South Carolina, psychologist and author of Inspired to Lose (Step
Wise Press, 2001).
Spill It
-The encouragement of people's positive responses.
-Feel more accountable, so quitting becomes less of an option.
-Pressure — you may feel like you have to live up to others'
ideas of
what's right for you.
-Commitment.
-More people to help you celebrate your successes.
Keep It a Secret
-Don't have to deal with people's negative responses.
-Don't feel accountable, so it's easy to quit.
-No pressure, and no guilty feelings when you don't live up to
others' expectations.
-Open timeline. If nobody knows you're on the plan, you won't feel
like you have to lose weight every day.
-When people are surprised to notice you've lost, you'll be
delighted.
Close Confidence
The major concern with keeping your efforts quiet is accountability,
says Rankin: Studies show that those who lose weight with the help of
others see better success. If you're worried that telling the people
around you won't help (or that it will be completely unhelpful),
surround yourself with people who you know will help — for
example,
the people at a Meeting. "If you're going to be accountable to
someone, be accountable with the right people," says Rankin. "It's
helpful when everybody's in the same boat."
Meetings are the best way to lose weight with Weight Watchers, but if
you're more comfortable keeping to yourself, the tools on
WeightWatchers.com provide an easy, private way to stay on track with
your POINTS® plan.
You may notice, though, that success will make you want to share your
secret with the world. Sheila, from the beginning of our story,
started telling people about Weight Watchers when she started losing
weight. She now says: "If I can share the best way I have ever found
to lose weight without deprivation, I'll do it!"
When you're bored or you've been struggling with your weight-loss
efforts, it's easy to say you've tried everything, and to create a
mental lock that prevents you from being open to new ideas for old
challenges.
But it's new perspectives — new points of view — that will
get you
past those tough parts, and if you've ever wished you could hand your
challenges off to experts for suggestions and ideas, there's good
news: You can. Everybody's weight-loss experience is different, and
each successful person finds a new way to face obstacles. So you can
ask any person who has found success for some ideas, and find
inspiration in her originality.
With a Little Help…
Walking in someone else's shoes can make an incredible difference.
You've probably heard your Leader or other Meetings Members talking
about some of the great sources of weight-loss success. You can look:
At your Meetings.
At the Success Stories.
In the Community.
Among your friends and family.
The next time you're stuck on a problem, just look around and ask for
help. Remember, when you're looking for obstacles, you'll find
obstacles. And when you're looking for solutions, you'll find
solutions. Keep this quote in mind:
"Things don't change.
You change your way of looking, that's all."
—Carlos Castaneda
~~
Six Sure-Fire Ways to Ask for Help
When you're making a difficult change in your life — and even
when
you're not — asking for help can be hard. There are so many
reasons
to just keep quiet: You don't want to burden people. You don't want
to hear "I told you so." You don't want to admit you're having a hard
time.
But help can be useful and necessary. "We all need so much help to
succeed," says Dorothy Leeds, author of The 7 Powers of Questions
(Perigee, 2000). Leeds points out that businesswomen, stay-at-home
moms and even dieters need a hand to hold from time to time. It's not
easy, though: "A lot of women feel they don't deserve it," she
says. "They're shy, and asking for help is a new habit."
But it's a habit worth learning, because the surprise is that most
people are eager and willing to help. The trick is asking in a way
you'll feel good about, but which will also get you what you need. In
fact, assertiveness is actually an important part of weight-loss
success.
The Right Questions
"Two of the greatest all-time questions," says Leeds, who does
lectures and workshops on how to ask for help effectively, "are 'Can
I help you?' and 'Can you help me?'" Ask these questions in the right
way, and people will love to give you a hand.
So what's the right way?
Ask for help at a time that's good for the other person. Say "I want
to ask you something. When's a good time for me to do that?"
Explain how important it is and why.
If the person says yes, ask how much he or she can help, and if
there's a deadline, whether he or she can meet it.
If the person you ask can't meet the deadline, try the following
question: "When do you think you can do it?"
Consider whom you're asking. Try not to overburden people who are
already overburdened.
Most important, offer something in return.
These six steps can be applied to any challenge you're facing,
whether it's at work, at home, or with your plans for weight-loss.
Have too much in your to-do box? Too many dishes piled up in the
sink? Too much trouble staying away from the Sour Cream and Onion
chips the kids bring home? Ask for help using the strategies above.
And try these other tips as well:
At work …
"The people who succeed at work," says Leeds, "are the ones who build
a network, reaching out and asking for help and to be involved." Try
the six tips above, and these as well:
"Ask your boss to help you help him or her," says Leeds. It will save
time for both of you and indicate your skills and dedication.
Ask for help from the people who work for you if you are a manager
—
and from the people around you if you're not.
Make a list. What are your top priorities? What do you need help with
and from whom?
Write thank-you notes, even if they're just little ones on e-mail.
Colleagues will want to help you again the next time if they know you
appreciate their assistance.
At home …
"We tend not to ask for help at home because we feel we won't get
it," says Leeds. Don't fall into that trap — if you ask the right
way, you can get all the help you need from your family. In addition
to the six steps above, try these tips:
Don't demand. Say, "It would really make a big difference to me if
you would help."
Learn how to delegate. "At home, I see parents not asking kids to do
anything — especially perfectionists, who feel it's not worth the
time to train. We have to ask everyone to help us." Kids like to help
because it makes them feel important.
Make helping fun for kids, and give them a reward when they do a
great job. Ask them: "If you help me do this, what can I do to make
something fun for you?"
With your diet …
The best thing about questions, says Leeds, is that they put you in
control, whether you're asking for help or for more information. And,
she says, "the more in control we feel in our lives, the happier we
are" — a perfect first step toward lasting weight loss. Add these
tips to the six steps above:
Know the purpose behind the question you're asking, and don't be
afraid to say it: Why would it help you if there were no potato chips
in the house? Because it's hard for you to resist? Then say so.
Explain exactly why what you're asking for is important to you. "It's
the words in the question and the way we ask it," says Leeds, that
make it a great help-getter.
Be willing to offer help as well. Says Leeds: "The people who get the
most help are the people who are helpful to others."
~~
Don't Do It Alone...
Many people believe that dieting is a solo endeavor. After all,
weight loss is simply eating less and exercising more and that's
something that you should be able to do on your own... right?
A study in the September 2000 issue of the American Journal of
Medicine* shows otherwise. This study provides the six-month results
of a two-year study supported by the Weight Watchers Foundation.
Conducted at six obesity research centers around the US, 423
overweight people were randomly assigned to lose weight either on
their own or with Weight Watchers. (To help the people assigned to
the self-help group get started, each person had two individual
sessions with a Registered Dietitian and was provided publicly
available information about how to lose weight in a safe and healthy
way.)
After six months, the Weight Watchers group lost, on average, more
weight than their self-help counterparts. In fact, 53 percent of the
Weight Watchers group lost at least 5 percent of their body weight
(the amount of weight loss generally accepted to result in
significant health benefits). Only 16 percent of the self-help group
achieved this weight-loss milestone. Moreover, the Weight Watchers
group also had significantly smaller waistlines and less body fat
than the self-help group.
In addition to weight loss, homocysteine levels (a marker for heart
disease found in the blood) were measured in a sub-group of the study
participants after the third month. Homocysteine levels improved in
the Weight Watchers group and deteriorated in the self-help group.
While the exact reason for this finding is unclear, it appears to be
related to a superior nutritional intake for the Weight Watchers
group.
The bottom line? The findings from this study indicate that you are
more likely to have greater weight-loss success with Weight Watchers
than you will if you try to diet on your own.
* Heshka, S, Greenway, F, Anderson, JW et al. Self-help weight loss
versus a structured commercial program after 26 weeks: a randomized
controlled study. Am. J. Med. 2000; 109; 282-287.
~~
Weight-Loss Firsts
In the spirit of a brand-new year, we asked our Community users what
sorts of things they've done for the first time ever — or the
first
time in ages — since losing weight. Some wrote that they can fit
into
clothes they haven't worn in years, others are fitter than they've
ever been. Here are some of the inspiring and often funny posts our
readers shared. After you've read them, you might want to post some
of your own achievements. And don't think you need to be at your
weight goal to be celebrating such firsts: Noting these kinds of
milestones during your weight loss journey can help motivate you
to "go all the way."
Community Firsts
"For the first time in my life, I truly feel healthy. And for the
first time since age 10, I am a healthy weight for my height."
"I can run for several minutes on the treadmill. I used to pant and
sweat like crazy just doing a fast walk."
"I have muscles — and can flex them to impress my fiancé!"
"I can pass on desserts at work luncheons or buffets."
"The biggest first for me has been buttoning a size 10 jacket I
bought almost four years ago. I have never been able to button that
jacket, and now I can. Yippee!"
"I willingly have pictures taken and actually look at myself in
mirrors."
"I [can] wear a pair of gym shoes I couldn't get into last year. My
feet were too swollen."
"My wedding ring slides off easily again!"
"[I wear] pant suits without control-top hosiery — I love being
able
to wear knee highs!"
"I can wear some of my teenage daughter's clothes!"
"People come to me for fitness advice!"
"My ex-husband suddenly realized I was really beautiful and had lost
a lot of weight. He actually told me so. That was the best."
"I can put on my leather jacket and the arms aren't tight."
"I don't have 'losing weight' as a New Year's resolution for 2002!"
~~
Weight Loss Confidential
Sheila started attending Weight Watchers Meetings in December, and
decided then that, for the most part, she'd keep her weight loss
efforts a secret.
"On Christmas, at my husband's family party, I ate small portions and
didn't tell anyone except one sister-in-law," says Sheila. "I just
didn't want to walk in and announce my plans to everyone."
Sheila's decision to keep her weight loss plans private is a common
one — many people working toward a weight goal feel like it's
nobody's business, and that telling the world is a lot of pressure,
plus a good way to encourage criticism. In fact, in a recent Weight
Watchers.com poll, 56 percent of respondents said they told some
people about their efforts, but kept them a secret from others. Eight
percent said they told absolutely nobody, and 35 percent said they
told the whole world.
Susan, another Meetings member and a Weight Watchers eTools
subscriber, didn't tell anyone either when she first started the
plan. But once she started to see success, she says, she let her
family in on her secret, and soon she was telling almost everybody.
Sure, it meant extra pressure: "Some people I can talk to, and some
are just too competitive," she says. "I don't like them to ask me
about my weight loss every week."
But for the most part, spilling the secret was worth it for
Susan. "When you succeed at something, you've done a good job and you
deserve nice comments," she says.
Spill It, or Keep It a Secret?
There's no right or wrong way, says Palma Posillico, general manager
of training and development for Weight Watchers International. "It's
what works best for you." Here are the pros and cons of each option,
according to Posillico and Dr. Howard Rankin, a Hilton Head Island,
South Carolina, psychologist and author of Inspired to Lose (Step
Wise Press, 2001).
Spill It
-The encouragement of people's positive responses.
-Feel more accountable, so quitting becomes less of an option.
-Pressure — you may feel like you have to live up to others'
ideas of
what's right for you.
-Commitment.
-More people to help you celebrate your successes.
Keep It a Secret
-Don't have to deal with people's negative responses.
-Don't feel accountable, so it's easy to quit.
-No pressure, and no guilty feelings when you don't live up to
others' expectations.
-Open timeline. If nobody knows you're on the plan, you won't feel
like you have to lose weight every day.
-When people are surprised to notice you've lost, you'll be
delighted.
Close Confidence
The major concern with keeping your efforts quiet is accountability,
says Rankin: Studies show that those who lose weight with the help of
others see better success. If you're worried that telling the people
around you won't help (or that it will be completely unhelpful),
surround yourself with people who you know will help — for
example,
the people at a Meeting. "If you're going to be accountable to
someone, be accountable with the right people," says Rankin. "It's
helpful when everybody's in the same boat."
Meetings are the best way to lose weight with Weight Watchers, but if
you're more comfortable keeping to yourself, the tools on
WeightWatchers.com provide an easy, private way to stay on track with
your POINTS® plan.
You may notice, though, that success will make you want to share your
secret with the world. Sheila, from the beginning of our story,
started telling people about Weight Watchers when she started losing
weight. She now says: "If I can share the best way I have ever found
to lose weight without deprivation, I'll do it!"