design your meeting

[FeelGR8]

Let's say you're in charge of designing your own Lifetimers mtg.

What topics will you want?

What issues are important?

Are there specific LT needs to be addressed?

Any requirements of the members?

Any specific qualifications of the leader?

[Kyoot]

Something that I have to still learn is althought it looks like the rest of the world doesn't have to watch every bite that goes in their mouths, I'm sure that most do.
kyoot

[UNH1982]

What a great thread!

From my past experience of making LT and now recommitting for the rest of my days I would suggest:

1. Dealing with those who think you're looking too thin
2. The realities of everyday life: weddings, office parties, vacations, and how to stay within your points range
3. WW recognitions for maintenance. Say, 3 months, 6 months, and then yearly rewards. Like a WW pin that you are able to buy once you reach LT and then add-ons for maintenance goals.
4. Leaders should be upbeat and understanding. I've even noticed a difference in how I am treated as a LT with weight to lose and someone just beginning their journey (I haven't received any type of reward for 10lb reward, weren't there once ribbons?)
5. Exercise information, maybe mini-demos of safe firming exercises.
6. Buddy program - LT buddied up with a new member.

Just a few brainstorming ideas! :rolleyes:

Dee

[CordyC]

My topic of choice: How to handle not being in the spotlight. For many of us, we were "stars" while we were losing weight, and after a while, the stardom wanes. A lot of people I have spoken to have a let-down feeling when they reach maintenance. This is something I would really like to se discussed!

[wwkatb]

what a great thread,i would jus love to be in a room with others that are going through the same things as me , that is what was so great about when i was still loosing,
one of the topics i would like to adress is it still hurts when people make jokes or rude comments about when i was big,like this one freind of my husbands said" i used to be afraid our lawn chair wouldnt hold ya ", why not just keep that to himself,im still that same person , or i get this alot now that you have lost all that weight are you going to do something diffrent with your hair? like what is wrong with my hair, lol.it is allmost like folks think they can say negative comments to me more even my dh has noticed it,i just would love a monthly lifetime meeting, dont know if it will ever happend,i think we all deserve to still get awards,i loved the buddy suggestion of pairing lifetimers with newbies , I l-o-v-e that idea.well bye kat
sw/296
cw/143.4
lifetime 10-08-04 graemlins/wave.gif

[FeelGR8]

Thanks to those who have responded so far -

kyoot - your concern is one that's often discussed in mtgs. In fact, it was one of my issues too - I use to have pity parties, you know, how come I have to watch what I eat & no one else does!! graemlins/ugh.gif There are always many members who express the same thing but when we take time to actually watch others, then we see that the vast majority of those who are at a healthy weight DO show control.

UNH1982 that's a great list you've come up w/! #2 applies to everyone in mtgs regardless of where they are on their "journey". #1 also comes up in discussions. Many people see it as sabotage so such a discussion can help a wide range of people, not just LT at goal. The new handouts have weeks that do focus on your #5, plus I'm betting if you asked that question in a mtg you could get a lot of recommendations from a lot of people. #4 - yes, leaders should be upbeat & enccouraging w/ ALL members - new, LT or returning LT over goal. LT over goal should still receive all awards. I think I'll send in a rec to the main headquarters to devise some sort of official LT award, such as the Maintaining for 6 months, etc. #6 - great idea but the only way it would work is if LT would make the commitment to attend regular mtgs.

Cordy that's a very real issue! I just started typing a response to this, but it got WAY too lengthy (so deleted it) but believe me, it gets addressed in my mtgs & I'm assuming it does in others too. If not, then a LT who raises the issue in a mtg should get a lot of praise because it's an extremely important issue. I don't have time right now, but maybe can come back to this in a different thread sometime.

wwkatb that's the first time I've heard anyone mention that - but now that you do, I can see how it happens! That's awful! But something I've learned is that we seldom, if ever, experience anything no one else has experienced. I just wish I had a LT in my mtgs who would bring this issue up. I'm sure it would generate a lot of discussion! And just think, if you had had a LT in one of your mtgs while you were losing who brought up the subject, now when you experience it yourself, you wouldn't be caught off-guard.

In fact, I strongly believe if we had more LT attend mtgs the mtgs then would draw out many issues that could be pertinent to LT. For example, if there's generally only 1 LT who attends a mtg it's hard on that member to feel comfortable bringing up personal issues. Maybe there should be a grassroots effort to encourage LT to once again begin attending general mtgs

[ March 10, 2004, 09:50 AM: Message edited by: FeelGR8 ]

[nancyny]

We all seem to go through stages. Perhaps we could be better prepared for them. Elation, boredom, just plain being tired of paying attention, etc.

It seems it is very hard to get your head around NOT having to lose weight, after being heavy and on and off "diets" for all that time. Look how many are trying to lose a few more for a personal goal, for a cushion. It seems common to feel we could or should lose a little more.

Even after losing all our weight, we don't have perfect bodies. At the top of the goal range, many people still feel "fat." It is hard to get a handle on "this is what a healthy weight looks like on me."

Losing weight doesn't tend to solve all of life's problems. If you had issues with food, or body image, or self-esteem, etc., chances are you still have them. Here, the same tools "losers" use probably still apply.

I want the weigher to ignore whether I am "up" or "down" this WI, and focus instead on where I am relative to goal. I had a leader scold me once for gaining 2 lb. in a month - from 6 lb. under goal to 4 lb. As long as I'm within the Lifetime limits, and I'm not having problems, these normal variations should be taken in stride by leaders and weighers too.

Recognition should focus on maintenance issues. Perhaps there could be a prize for 3, 6, and 12 consecutive free monthly WIs. Even if it's just a gold star. Or for anniversaries at goal (within LT limits), even if there was an up and back down period.

There is good stuff mentioned above. I won't repeat it. Especialy wwkatb's comment - that people who felt they could pick on you for your weight all this time now feel they still have to (or can) pick on you, so they find another reason. I have people in my life like that too.

I think these meetings would be for any member on Maintenance or Lifetime.

Ideally, the Leader should be Lifetime for at least 2 years. I think it takes that long to understand the long-term issues first-hand. Look how many in this group started having problems maintaining in the 2nd or 3rd year after they reached Lifetime. But any qualified leader would do.

[ March 10, 2004, 10:13 AM: Message edited by: nancyny ]

[Medb48]

It isn't always that we need different topics for the meetings but more so that our perspectives are different. When our leader talks about exercising she rarely gets any responses except from me. Everyone else is concentrating on watching the scale move and I'm concerned that it WILL!!

I need to come up with goals that will set me on the next level but I'm not getting any input from the meetings that might help me come up with alternatives. We tried to set up a walking club and only one other person volunteered.

[Kyoot]

I was thinking about this topic all day yesterday and remembered something but didn't remember to post it until this morning.
OK here goes I started my ww Journey for hte first time in Manchester, NH in Jan 2003 and I LOVED those Tuesday night meetings. Our Leader was outgoing and very intuned to all the members at the meeting. She wrote what we said on a white board so that we felt like we owned the meeting. Things that I looked forward to with the lifetime award was my "star" on the wall. She took pictures of the members at lifetime after 6wks maintenance and our "stats" were on the wall of fame! it felt great as a loser to go and see those members on the wall.
When I moved my meetings changed, they are good and I still look forward to them but it is a different dynamic. On of my personal rewards is to go visit my old meeting in May. I'm hoping that will make it feel like it is here and done! as well as continue my new meetings. I go weekly still to all meetings. I need that "out of the house" and that "reprogram" I even stayed one week to go over the program as a first time member about 6wks ago as I needed a "refresher" of sorts.
Kyoot

[WWCarol]

Having been a person who maintained for 1 1/2 years and THEN regained over goal, I can see what lessons I did NOT have under-my-belt! ;)

Looking back, I see that I was weighing-in in an outfit, covered by a GARGANTUAN wind-breaker! :eek: Not only did I have difficulty getting rid of my "great" bigger clothes (which made it easier to re-gain :rolleyes: ) I also did not go shopping/trying-on new clothes ENOUGH to "see" or recognize my new body?! That's a Lifetime "problem" that I want to address so it doesn't happen again, after I'm back to goal.

Another Lifetime problem was: I continued losing weight til I was 9 1/2 pounds under goal. I had difficulty going from "losing" to "maintaining"; I had difficulty making food-choices. I didn't see how I could eat MORE (because my whole grain/whole food choices were so "filling", already!) but I didn't want to go back to my former way-of-eating, either? I need to get that figured out ahead of time, too.

I am lucky to have a very friendly, funny leader who includes everyone in the discussions. I don't feel left-out. And I can bring up whatever I need to. I really like the idea of the "maintaining" card, Jo, that you created, that rewards you monthly (or weekly) with a STAR, and new cards that signify the years of maintaining. graemlins/thumbup.gif

[BEARS]

Great thread! The support and understanding here at bcb is outstanding. Informative, helpful, and honest graemlins/bcbsalute.gif

Steady as she goes ... Honk, Honk, Honk!!!

Sheryl

[FeelGR8]

If at all possible it would be a great week for all LT to attend a mtg this coming week. The topic is "Walk a mile in my shoes" --- I suspect most leaders will be gathering challenging situations from members & have other members share ideas of how to approch them. This not only will provide a great opportunity for LT to share what works for them but also give you a chance to air the difficulties you're now experiencing. It will be an eye-opener for other members too to think of how they might handle being a future LT. You might even bring up the topic of how difficult it can be being a LT & attending mtgs - how alone you might feel, how other members can give you the impression they don't understand why you're there because you obviously don't need to lose, how the topics can become redundant & repetitive... Approach it not as complaining about the meetings, but sincerely asking your co-group members & the leader how everyone together can provide the best mtg possible not only for new members but for old-timer LT --- because after all, every member there should be hoping they'll be in YOUR shoes eventually.

[dmarkey]

Hi everyone,

Great topic. I can relate to much of it.

Somehow staying the same each month, doesn't have the same feeling of accomplishment to me as when I was releasing the weight. I really do know what a HUGE deal it is to remain at goal and yet it doesn't have the same feel. I am working on having an attitude adjustment about that, but it hasn't happened yet. Maybe it is because we are not acknowledged on a group level. I do know I am goal oriented.

To be honest, I am struggling each month. I make my goal weight by the skin of my teeth and I don't like the way that feels.

Our journey continues! :)