online dating

[skruggie]

I know this topic has been covered before, but does anyone have any experiences they'd care to share?

I just joined a service a week or so ago and I'd love to hear how others have fared. Any tips from the pros?

[Alleycat76]

THIS IS ONLY AN ACCOUNT OF MY ONLINE DATING EXPERIENCE!!!

It was awful. Every guy I met was a weirdo! They all had issues... One was into group s*x with all of his friends - and he seemed the nicest and straightest of them all. Of course, I only found this out after I'd spent 3 months dating him!

One was a sexist pig and terribly tight with his money! He kept wanting me to go to his house for dinner, and I only realised later it was because that was a cheap way to date.

Everyone else wanted to know what I looked like straight away, and spent the whole emailing time asking what I looked like and when could they meet me. Wasn't anything about my interests or anything, just totally based on looks!

For me it was a very negative experience, but I'm sure others have fared better!

[ARI73]

I've actually had a pretty positive online dating experience. But I do have to admit, I did have to weed through some weirdo's and some that just wanted sex. But for the most part, I've met a lot of really nice and interesting guys.

I think it also depends on what site you're on and what you're looking for. I tried jdate.com and match.com and had no luck on either; I found all the guys really boring. My favorite online site is ssnpersonals.com. The first week I posted my profile I had over 50 responses!? (And I didn't even post a picture - but I do have to admit though, my profile was a bit risque.) I actually dated 2 guys I met from that site for over 4 months and one of them I'm still talking to, but we're just friends.

Have fun with it and good luck!

[Megs]

Well I joined Match.com about a month and a half ago and have met three guys. The first guy I only saw once (didn't have much in common), second guy saw twice but likewise didn't have much in common and now currently dating a guy (on to our 4th and 5th date) with a guy that is great. His profile was what caught me. I made sure in my profile I was honest about what I needed and who I was. I ended up including 5 pictures because I didn't want anyone to show up without knowing what they were getting themselves into.... and only went out with people that had a photo. I would definitely recommend it. My twin sister married a guy she met off the internet and they now have a beautiful baby boy!

[rocky]

Well buddy there are sure pros and cons to it.
I am in a business that I really don't meet ppl in soo.... that is why I did it.
I first joined Lava Life, pretty cool, met hmm 4 great guys through that, ok 3 great guys, and a few strange ones.
I then started going to chat rooms, now this is sometthing to be carefull with, but I was very very honest in my profile, had a pic up and said what I was looking for.Dated quite a bit through that and found that men are soo judgemental in chats as they were in the personal ads.Weird not too sure how to describe it.
Actually I met the man I truly think is my soul mate, 3 months ago.He is moving in with me next month, this from a girl who is 40 and only lived with one man for a very short time. soooo I think it is real this time, lol.

Be carefull, meet in public places, talk on msn for awhile just to make sure you do have things in common, and only give out your cell number at first to talk on the phone, or block your number if you call him.
I think it is a great way to meet ppl, I met two men that are now 2 of my best friends.
Good luck and keep us posted. :D

[CKone]

Hey there, coming to this post a little late, but here's my story. I didn't use an online dating service, just chat rooms and I dated a lot of guys from online. Like the previous post said, you have to weed through the weirdos. I met this one guy online, we exchanged photos and met in person a few weeks after chatting, on the 4th of july 1999 and we have now been married for a little over 2 years. It's not too different then weeding through the weirdos at bars, except it's easier to hide things online. Trust your gut, and meet in public places, and always get pictures.

[Suzabelle]

Definitely not an expert here, but I met my boyfriend in a chat room 5 years ago. I was very 'green' to chat rooms at the time and probably way too trusting. I was extremely lucky to have found a wonderful man.

I believe things have gotten a little scary though and I would not be as trusting today. I would probably not date someone I met in a chat room but would go with a fee service instead. Tends to weed out some if they have to pay for the service. I would echo some of the other advise given here like meeting in a public place, getting a picture, etc. Be as careful as you can be. A friend of mine is using a service and has not had any real problems and some very good experiences.

I wish everyone's experience could turn out as mine did. I'll be anxious to hear a report of how things are going with you! Keep us posted and good luck!

Suzanne

[TheLizzy]

I've had my share of good AND bad experiences.

The bad: a guy who was WAY too "violent" in his kissing style and bruised me. Other guys are just guys I had no chemistry with.

The good: My fiance. smile.gif I met him on Yahoo! Personals about a year ago. I had posted an ad because I read a book called "The Surrendered Single" (which is FABULOUS and a must-read for all single ladies out there) which encouraged any venue for dating as a positive one. Stu was the first date I went on and it was love at first sight. We're geting married on November 13th.

[SerendipitySmiling]

Congrats Lizzy! It's always good to hear success stories!

-Mindy

[SewCrazy]

I met my fiance through the online match.com service. I did meet some strange people along the way, but it led me to Mr. Right. I like that service as we were able to write anonymously four at least a month before we shared personal email addresses and phone numbers. This also helped in the weed out process. I had met one that was very obnoxious and was glad he didn't know how to find me.

Biggest thing is to use care. I did learn something early on as I had been writing to someone online and we had shared phone numbers/email addresses. He did a reverse lookup of my phone number online and mailed me a birthday card. Nice sentiment, but a litte spooky. I went to every address/phone lookup I knew about on the internet and removed my information.

My advice is that as long as you are careful, it can work. Another thing I always did is when I went to meet someone for the first date or so, I would either let a friend or family know who I was with and where we were going (which can backfire if your friend is a smart-aleck and shows up or something ;) ). Or I would call my answering machine and leave that type of information on it as well so that there was some documentation of it. To me, this would be the same for regular dating or online dating. One has to be careful these days.

Linda
sewcrazy for WW

[97echo]

I had a great experience on Yahoo Personals. Met my boyfriend of four months there. I don't know what else I would have done, because the kind of guy I like (intellectual and liberal) just doesn't congregate in my area. He felt the same way about trying to find a compatible girl.

I had seen his profile, and thought he looked just right (maybe even a little too cute for me) but I wasn't subscribed at the time. I had a ton of responses to sift through, so I figured that if none of them panned out, I would join the service so I could e-mail Mr. Perfect. Well, he beat me to it. We exchanged e-mails for a few weeks, then talked on the phone for a week, then met in person, and I took down my personal ad that night.

PS... we found out later that we had several common acquaintances. If only someone had been in the matchmaking mood, I could have met him even sooner!

[jendear75]

I don't really have any online dating experiences to share, but I can vouch for HurryDate. It's a lot of fun & you get to interact with the guys which I don't think you get to do in an online environment no matter how much you e-mail/talk on the phone.

[CordyC]

So far, I am striking out - the only guys who are interested in me are a) seriously flawed (one guy wrote at length about his traumatic brain injury, which I personally think is TMI in the ad, but something that should be broached if/when we would meet) or b) on the other side of the world (New South Wales, British Columbia - ummmm, howsabout we spontaneously meet for coffee?)

I am seriously reconsidering the amount of cats I am willing to have :lol: :lol: . But I have a strong vibe that I'll actually meet someone by non-Internet means. (Probably the adoption clerk at the SPCA....) Never surrender!

Rocky, upthread is a post you should take a sec and re-read! :D :water1:

[kaf73libra]

I don't have my own online dating story, but my brother meant his girlfriend online. In June of 2001 my brother was in a chat room, not sure which one, and he started chatting with this one girl. I guess they must of clicked right away, because a week later they meant for the first time. For six months after that they dated, but they weren't serious and still dated other people. The followiing January on the 18th they got more serious, and have been dating only each other ever since.

My brothers girlfriend is so sweet and everyone in my family loves her and her family. We often get together for family holidays and have the best time. My favorite time of the year is Christmas, and for the past two years they've come over to spend the holiday with us.

About 7 years ago, Katia and her younger brother moved out to California with their parents. last Summer my brother and Katia went to Peru. Everyone in Katia's family, back in Peru, loved my brother. And my brother enjoyed seeng a new country for the first time.

Despite the fact that their is a language barrior between or two famiies, my life wouldn't be complete with out Katia and her family in my life. I want to learn to speak Spanish so that talk to her parents one one one.

~ Katherine

[ClaremoreZebraBandMom0407]

I don't have much experience online dating or just regular dating. In fact I haven't been on a date since 1996. :( sad isn't it.

My girlfriend has done alot of online dating - she always meets guys who have money and want to fly her to there town for the weekend, put her up in a hotel and they always have a really good time. She's seen quite a bit of the US dating online. Even got to go to Peurto Rico for a week. She married a man on line after dating him for 2 years. He was from Atlanta and she's a Tulsa girl. She moved to Atlanta with him after they got married but her kids were so miserable there that they alll moved back to Tulsa. The marriage only lasted 10 months, he didn't like Tulsa and wanted to stay married but live across the country from each other and just visit once a month. She said no way and it ended.

I've really been thinking about signing up with an online service, but I'm so scared to actually go on a date with someone. I'm so uncomfortable about the way I look.

[jamiebrandonsmom]

I don't have experience with online dating but my sister does. She met her now husband in the christian chat room. He is from Long Island, NY and she is from Alabama. The talked online for about 6 months before meeting. She is a teacher and she and 4 of her friends went to NYC for her birthday. He met them and showed them around NYC. After that meeting, he started flying to Alabama every other weekend to see her. They have been married 4 years and just had their 2nd little girl. ;)

[rocky]

Ha ha, cordy, yeah guess I should update...
The man I was saying think is the one ended up being the one.
We are getting married, august 28th ... 6 weeks away :crazy: This is the first marriage for both of us and we are very happy.
So don't say ohh I would never do that, cause from my experience things can really end up great.I have many friends that have met thier spouses this way also.
Good luck girls.:)

[judyo53]

Barbie,

Congrats on your upcoming nuptials, I'll be at my friend's daughter's wedding that day. This post caught my eye because I dated 15 guys on-line & didn't have any really horrible experiences, nothing different from regular dating except for the ability to meet so many in such a short time frame. However, as I was dating the last one, who was really sweet & cute, I was starting to feel vibes from my now DH, whom I had met through one of my friends but we had never dated. We just kept showing up at group functions & I started to like him. In fact, I asked him out on our first date. Dated both him & my on-line guy for a little bit but felt I needed to make a decision (I'm just not that good with juggling men), & the interest was definitely more towards my DH. In fact, I was out with my on-line guy when I ran into my DH at an outdoor beer garden watching a band we know & that was the day I decided to ask my DH out.

So, all that Internet dating & I marry a guy from the area. Actually, we grew up 4 blocks away from each other but he went to Catholic school & then moved to CA & lived there for 20 yrs. So we never met until about 6 yrs. ago (have been married 2).

[CurvyPrincess]

It can happen!

I met my now DH online, in a chatroom, I just used to get online and kill some time when we were slow at work, wasnt looking for anyone, never would I have dreamed I would met my husband online!

We spoke about 4 times, then we lost contact, then about a year later he was chking through his saved files and saw my picture I had send him and he emailed me to say hello, and the next day he got a computer virus and lost EVERYTHING on his computer, if he hadnt have emailed me that day b4 we would have never got back in contact...strange huh, we talked then for over a year when he decided to come to Australia to visit me, and the rest is history, now we have been married for 2 years and going strong.

It was strange, cause while we were chatting I had been on some dates with people I had met conventally but there was just something about this man on the other side of the world, so trust your gut feeling, its usually right.

HOWEVERRRR please be careful, cause things are alot different online these days and there are just so many jerks and sex craved people that are not worth your time, so please be highly particular to who you choose to give your time to.

[carlee]

I've been considering it. I've had a couple of friends who have done it and met and married those guys. I'm a little wary about it, but I'm not much of a bar person and my gym is all female, work with mostly females, so it may be my only alternative!
Carlee

[Paddler]

Hi folks,

I "worked" at online dating for more than two years. So my advice is to be persistant. My style was to go on a site for a short block of time and then change sites. I had about six different sites that I used, some more than others. emode... now tickle, match.com and matchmaker.com, kiss.com, yahoo personals, eharmony, concerned singles.. tried others, but these were the best. This way, I was "new" and the group of men was new on a regular basis.
Generally, I had a good time. {There were a few bombs.} I like to write and make friends, so that was my approach. I have made some friends that have stuck. When I got to the "date" or "Meet and greet" part, I'd suggest activities I'd like to do. We walked the bike path, paddled rivers, hiked mountains, went windsurfing, visited museums, saw some good movies... as well as going to a lot of different restaurants. I met LOTS of guys. Only dated a handful more than once or twice.
But about a year ago, I met a [THE] guy... who was late to the date... and there was a "click." I didn't really believe in chemistry before that. The dating process went amazingly fast. We're now in a committed relationship.

So, be careful, have an attitude of fun and adventure, be open and dreams CAN come true.

Paddler

[Momma25]

Hey Y'all!

Pardon the intrusion from a "non-single" with a question I hope is not offensive. I have a curious question for those of you who have done the online dating thing.

Since the guys usually ask for a picture (or stats) before getting involved, those of you with some weight to lose, do you feel you had as much interest/response of sincere gentlemen as someone who did not have weight to lose?

I guess my question is, (from your personal experience) are there really guys out there looking for more than outward physical perfection, or have y'all seen more of the "Shallow Hal" type from online dating services?

[kansaslaura]

This thread caught my eye, especially since Momma posted! I met my DH on line in a chatroom. I am usually a very good judge of people, and being on line is no difference. I could smell a jerk in a chatroom just as easily if they were sitting next to me. I did date 3 other men I met on line, but never felt as comfortable with them as I did right off with my DH.

As far as the weight issue goes, yes, Momma, there are genuine people out there, I liken it to a garden over run with weeds tho.. you have to look carefully for the flowers! :ugh:

I weigh less now than when I first met DH.

[AliciaConstance]

well i have done some on line dating when i was younger and it always turned into a complete desaster. I guess im very volunerable when it comes to feelings and being liked and loved. I must have found just about every werido you could think of. Of course i started at the nice young age of 13 or 14 i can't remember i was in seventh grade though. That guy was scary. When i was in college and yahoo personals were still free i had done a few postings on that, ended up dating a married guy for a while, of course i didn't know he was still married. he told me he was in the middle of getting a divorce and i could see the papers if i wanted to. Of course i said no that i believed him. Then i started catching on when the only time i got to see him was when he was refing hs b-ball and the only number i had for him was his work number as he was in the navy. I told him to shuv off. gotten my heart broken a few more times that called it quits for online dating. I refuse to pay for a service to find a bf. But i also don't put myself out there enough. I have a bad self immage. as soon as im under 200 lbs i will make more of an effort cause i will have way more confidence. Until then, im fine living my life as a single.

Alicia:buddysmoo

[rincaro]

When I got divorced and started dating again (for the first time since I was 18) I had two young boys and couldn't go out looking for men. So I turned to online. I posted an honest, flattering pic of myself. I met a lot of men. Quite a few losers. Quite a few.

But there was this one guy. We had chatted for about 6 weeks, but he never made a move to ask me out. One Friday night when the boys were at their dad's, I somehow convinced him to come and take me out. Since that night, we've been inseparable. That first date was last July. We got married in February. He got an awesome job and we moved from OH to FL and I can now be a SAHM. He loves my boys like nothing else. Better than their dad (who abandoned them before we got married) ever was. I am truly blessed.

BTW, I met him on christiancafe.com - which I met a lot of nice guys off of.