I think I hate men!!!!!!!!!!!

[rocky]

As I think you guys know, I am pregnant, no not the best situation but... the father after dating for a few months broke up with me, said he just wants to be single, then 2 weeks later find out I am pregnant.
He wants nothing to do with me or the baby, I mean nothing, very very devestating but.....
We had a great realtionship, or so I though, we got along awesome, his dd was a big part of my life and all was good.hmmm
Well so we don't speak at all anymore, but, we met on a dating site, I went there to just look around ya know curious, well guess who is there, dickhead himself, grrrrrr.What does his add say, if you have kids that is fine but I definelty don't want kids!!! Omg, that just makes me so dang mad, I don't really know what the diference is , if someone you fall in love with has kids, your gonna be supporting them in some way some day, but he watns nothing to do with his own.
Oh yes I am just venting, but, god, how can someone be so wrong about someone else.
Men they just suck.
Ok I don't really mean that, one day I will think they are awesome again, hmm but maybe not for awhile, thanks for listening to me vent.
:eek:

[CordyC]

Vent away! This happens all the time - one guy I met on line and then broke up with popped up again on the same dating site where we'd met, with a rather sweet ad about how this was his first time doing this sort of thing. Only not. There are plenty of other dating sites, shop around a bit, and don't let his emotional deficiencies become your problem.

My opinion, having raised my son completely on my own since my ex flew the coop 20 years ago, is that kids need a loving and consistent environment, and they are better off being raised by one good parent (such as yourself!) than one good parent who is continually being undermined by an indifferent part-timer (such as El Schmucko). Your kid will turn out better without his intervention - what kind of positive influence is this "man" capable of bringing to your son or daughter?

PM me if you want to vent.

[Jeannie C]

Too bad you can't post something on his dating profile like what you just wrote ('I don't know how he'll accept someone else's child when he won't accept his own'). He sounds like he's totally mis-representing himself!

My aunt had a baby with her high school boyfriend. When he found out she was pregnant, he told everyone that the baby belonged to someone else. Needless to say, he totally lied. My cousin looks just like his biological father. My cousin (Joshua) had the chance to meet his biological father a few years ago. They chatted and that was it. It made me very sad that someone could do that to their own child. Anyway, my aunt met someone when Joshua was 6 months old. They have been married for 16 years and they have three daughters of their own. My uncle treats Joshua like his own son. My uncle is his dad. Anyway, I'm rambling. I guess what I'm trying to say is that not all men are bad. You will find that special someone who will accept your child as their own. I'm sure that Joshua's biological father feels like a real jerk. I would, too, if I were him. Josh is a great kid and he missed out on having him in his life.

[Brandalynn911]

They should have a place on internet dating sites for "reviews" from people that have dated the person. Sorta like reviews of the seller/buyer on Ebay. Would make people (guys and girls alike) more accountable.

[MsWildfire]

OMG!! This is exactly what I was discussing with my friend last week. The guy I broke up with in January has updated his ad...Well everything he says he does in his spare time is NOTHING that we did..shoot, we never played cards, shot pool and oh he got upset because I wanted to workout and didn't have time to spend with him..Also he was a stick in the mud but now his ad says he likes to party on the weekends and wants to meet someone who does also...Ok, he is 35...grow up!!! Now I know why I kicked him to the curb! Oh yeah...would I love to write a review on him!!!

[beledi belle]

It really is a shock and a complete disappointment to discover that your "mate" is not what they calimed to be or that the have a Mr. Hyde personality that you never saw. Men - sheesh! What are they tryng to prove????? I just hate them!!!!!!

[1bigmama79]

You go Girl!!
I have a friend that her ex did the same thing to. A few months later he started seeing a women who had two small children(which he later adopted) but he would have nothing to do with his daughter.
My friend and I wrote a note to his new wife and told her the whole story(HE NEVER TOLD HER HE HAD A BABY girl)!
Just think about your baby and what is best for you guys someone will come along who wants you both and will love you both

Good Luck
JODI

[1bigmama79]

You go Girl!!
I have a friend that her ex did the same thing to. A few months later he started seeing a women who had two small children(which he later adopted) but he would have nothing to do with his daughter.
My friend and I wrote a note to his new wife and told her the whole story(HE NEVER TOLD HER HE HAD A BABY girl)!
Just think about your baby and what is best for you guys someone will come along who wants you both and will love you both :D

Good Luck
JODI

[Abeautifulwoman2003]

Okay I am a single mom too. My ex has not been around for the last 4 years. But then again he was not there for the first 8 years. Honey you will be fine. Many strong women have raised great kids!

And you know what the men are the ones that miss out. The only thing I wish I would have never done is let my ex around at all. Cause the popping in and out was worse on DS then to never be around at all.

Good Luck! and we are here if you need us.

P.S. I love being a single mom most days.

[Chattie]

Don't despair buddies. There ARE good men out
there in cyberspace.

I met a man online, became good friends, eventually met in person, fell in love more and more and married. We are still married almost 5 years and are super happy bunnies.

It does happen.

[Bleuu]

If he's such a loser why would you want him to influence your child in the first place?

This also beats him dragging you into a custody battle just to get back at YOU, which is what everyone I know who isn't married but has children has to deal with.

Also, maybe being more scrupulous with who you sleep with and using protection are good ways to avoid this.

Good luck!

-Bleuu

[rocky]

HMm I just have to answer the last post.
I was using protection and as far as I knew with this man he was an awesom father and a wonderful man who treated me really quite well.He just was not happy about the situation, he didn't not step up to the plate.What hurt most is that I beleived that he was a good guy, that is why it i hurt so much.
But it is all for nothing now.I had a miscarriage this weekend, so.........

[CordyC]

********{Rocky}}}}}. Oh, buddy, I am so sorry to hear about the baby. I believe that G-d doesn't take anything away without replacing it, and I have this strong vibe that you are just around the corner from finding the true happiness that you deserve. If you need me, I'm only a PM away.

[Alleycat76]

I am so so sorry to hear about the miscarriage. *hugs* to you. And if you need to talk PM me.

I also don't think it is justified for others to lecture you on your sex life. This is an open forum - but I still believe if you haven't got anything good to say - don't say anything...

[Brandalynn911]

Rocky,

I'm also sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you and if you need anything just PM me.

And I agree with Alleycat. It no ones business here to judge anyone elses sex life. We are all human and have the right to make our own decisions. Many guys who turn out to be jerks sure make themselves look like a prince in the beginning of a relationship and turn on you when things go wrong.

Hugs to you Rocky

[Jeannie C]

You know Bleuu, that comment was totally uncalled for. You do not know Rocky's situation!!!! Jezz...

Rocky...Hugs buddy! I am soooo sorry! Please PM me if you need to 'talk'.

[SFIELDGIRL0904]

Rocky>> I completely understand your situation. I have been raising my son on my own for the past 5 years. His father doesn't have anything to do with him either. He acts like my son doesn't exist (excuse me, OUR son). He has a son from a previous relationship also that he never sees but now he is married and has a daughter. It makes me mad how he has got to pick and choose which of his children's lives he wants to be a part of. I am really sorry he has left you in this situation. I think what has really helped me is realizing it was not my fault that he left. Also I realize that since he is so worthless it is probably better he is not in my son's life. I would not want my son growing up in his footsteps. I just keeping telling myself that one day he will really regret what he has done and it will come back to haunt him double. Keep your chin up!!

[Iowabeth]

I am really sorry you are going through this. I know it is hard right now. However, let me tell you a story....

My 17 year old daughter discovered she was pregnant after her boyfriend of 2 years broke up with her. We contacted him and asked he he wanted to be involved. He said that he did but we never heard from him again. She chose to keep the baby and graduated from high school 5 months pregnant. They lived with me while she attended college and got her teaching degree. After working just one year, still living with me, she met a wonderful man and they are now married. Her husband has adopted her son (thank God her old boyfriend had disappeared so that they didn't have any problem with the adoption) and they now have another son, just 4 months old. She had decided, before she met her husband, that she and her son were a perfect family and that she didn't ever need to be married. She just focused on her son and didn't even look for a new boyfriend.

She is now 26 years old and her life is wonderful. Of course they have their problems just like everyone else, but they are the nicest little family you have ever seen.

You can get through this with support and encouragement from friends and family. Hold your head up high and enjoy being pregnant. Don't even contact the jerk........you don't want him around anyway. What good will he do for you or your child? Fighting for child support will only drain your bank account (attorney's fees) and your energy.

Hang in there! You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Beth

[Iowabeth]

Well I have learned a lesson........I just went back and read all the posts. When I wrote that last post I did not realize that you had lost the baby. Sorry......

Beth

[onehandcoding1]

All men are not insensitive, boorish, irresponsible pigs. There are wonderful men out there, but sometimes women don't give them a chance ... why?

1. Not enough money (although women ought to be earning their own to support the lifestyle they want)
2. Too nice
3. Doesn't have a perfect face/body
4. Doesn't share the same religious beliefs
5. Doesn't drive the right car

My husband found that every woman he met (until he met me) wouldn't have anything to do with him because he wasn't a Christian (although I will say that he behaves more in line with Christian beliefs than most Christians I meet). He opens doors for me, opens the car door and puts me in the car even when it rains, is very sweet to my mother, helps with the laundry and housework, and is the most sensitive, funloving, talented and compassionate person I know.

Oh, and all Internet dates are not creeps or philanderers. I met my husband through an ad I placed on Yahoo.

Just my two cents.

[Brandalynn911]

I agree that not all men are insensitive. I don't think anyone else believes that either. I do believe it takes going through a lot of ugly frogs before you find your prince.. and of course even then the prince isn't perfect because princes are only human. I try to see the good in all my ex's because I know they are truly good people. They just weren't right for me and it didn't work out. I finally found someone who is wonderful. Really really wonderful. Its easy to have the attitude that not all men are pigs if you are in a good relationship. But when things are not going well its hard to remember that fact.

[onehandcoding1]

Even when I WASN'T in a good relationship, I knew that all men aren't pigs. There is also something to be said for the phenomenon of women who put up with piggish men instead of leaving or standing up for themselves.

American women are very much guilty in general of feeling that their lives are beyond their control, that someone (on a white horse, in shining armor?) has to rescue them and save them from themselves. Examples of this can be found on virtually every episode of Oprah Winfrey a/k/a Lifestyles of the Unassertive and Whiny.

[rocky]

Hey buddies, me who started this thing, lol.
I do not think all men are asses, just the last 2 I have been with hehe.

I have met someone , eeek, I know I k now but... let me just tell you this man is very supportive.We spent the first weeks e mailing each other, it was awesome we talked about everything under the sun.Let me just say I had only seen a tiny pic of him so really didn't have an idea how he looked.All I knew for sure is this man was sweet, caring, listened to me etc... I was pregnant, and he didn't have an issue with it.
He was there, while all I did was throw up 20 times a day, listened to me cry and whine daily.
Poor man hey.
Well at last we got to meet, and it was just as great as we had hoped.We connected 100%,I had a week off and went to where he lives, just moved from my city, grrr,lol.I spent a wonderful week with him etc....
When I had a miscarriage, he sent me white roses as he couldn't be here but called alot to make sure I was ok.
He is wonderful so far, I have some issues because I find it hard to trust something good, I always feel it is gonna fall apart before it begins.I am scared to death, and hmm think he is too.. but we are taking this very very slow and getting to really know each other.

Talking about looks, I cared for him so deeply before we met I was scared but, also felt no matter what there would be something on my part, and there was, yipee.He had one women , who he had talked to for months at last ask for a pic, and then she told him no way in hell was she attracted to him.Hmmm well how lucky am I, she lost of on a wonderful sweet man, just cause he is not the perfect thing, well really who of us is???I sure am not.I am so attracted to him, his look, the way he smells, the way he talks, all of it.Don;t base everything on how someone looks.
It is very very hard for me to trust my judegment now, after all the crap.He shows me in little wasy that he cares, like making me a cup of tea, like bringing my dog treats home, those little things.He is not a smooth talker, doesn't sweet talk me, but... what is more important?
I am trying so hard to be calm, let myself just enjoy things etc....getting me back, working out staying op, life is good right now.I hope it continues.
Thanks buddies.Hugs. :D

[Brandalynn911]

Aww Rocky I'm so glad that things are looking up for you. I know that it is scary but remember that you find true love when you least expect it. It happened to me that way. Right when I had given up on men. I'd decided I was just gonna be single for the rest of my life and a great guy found me.

My guy is scared too. He also wasn't planning to get in a relationship. His prior relationship was really bad. We were discussing the fact the other day and thinking of maybe calling the whole thing off. Then I had an epiphany.. Yes I'm terrified! Yes this could end up in disaster.. but why would I throw away something that could be the best thing to ever happen to me because of fear. The answer is I shouldn't and you shouldn't either. Good luck to you. I wish you the best