The Rules - Part 2

[Alleycat76]

Well, I finished reading the book (twice!!) and I really don't know what to think... :confused: :confused:

I think it's based on the theory that guys are full of self confidence, and will just know that you are interested, but are playing hard to get. I mean, if a guy phones you and leaves a message, they say not to return his call - wait until he's left 3 or 4 messages. This would indicate to most normal men not that you are busy, but that you are not interested.

Don't get me wrong, I think the book had some great points, but I can tell you now, that I think it'd be really rude not to return calls, and you could be jeapordising your chances of getting to know a really great person!

Let me know what you guys think of it, and what you do if you're following the rules...

Now I just have to get me some dates!!! :(

[Chez130]

Uh, well... I have to admit, I usually returned my DH's calls before we married. But, I very RARELY ever called him. He always called me first. When I was home I usually answered the phone. Sometimes I would leave the apartment on purpose so he would have to leave a message. I wanted him to think I was out having a life even if I didn't really have much of one. ;)

Oh, and if he really likes you, he will call and call and leave lots of messages. I never had to call him because he always beat me to it! :D

[misslily]

The authors say how you do The Rules depends on your temperment. If you are overly friendly by nature, do them like bootcamp. If you are cool and aloof by nature, be a bit sweeter. I also think is says never call him, and rarely return calls (not never). I also think they know people are likely to break the rules at times so they write strictly to compensate for that - and still give you good results.

What I take from it overall is rather than make any guy the center of your life -- have a life. Don't pretend to be busy, actually have interests and a life of your own.

I agree with the authors that if guys are really, really interested, they won't be put off. Haven't we all had experiences with guys we truly weren't interested in who continued to call and call. They were not in the least bit put off by not getting a return call.

Maybe it is easier for me because I happen to prefer "take charge" guys who go after what they want. I like to be pursued and am not really interested in guys that are too passive. I only want to date guys that are very, very interested in me.

I guess it is sort of like ww -- there is some room for personality differences and preferences, but there is a basic program which if followed (at least 80% of the time) works.