Just broke up with my guy -- need support

[misslily]

Hi guys,

I just broke up with that guy I was seeing (for about 4 months). I sensed a selfish, immature & spoiled streak under the gentlemanly veneer. A recent trip tp NYC with him was revealing and disasterous. Things have been strained and unpleasant since then and I decided to break it off. I just couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life with him and at 36, it made sense to end it a.s.a.p.

I told him on Friday night and he lost his mind. He ended up saying " **** you" , calling me a "****ing b**h" and ending with "have a nice life". WOW.

Although I CLEARLY made the right move, I am sad and a bit depressed. I allowed myself the weekend to mourn the loss of my expectations. I told myself that I would shower today and get dressed and get out of the house. I am going to the gym now. I would love any support and encouragement you might have.

[rocky]

You know what is right for you , right.I am sorry your feel down though.Good for you for getting out to the gym.
I was dating someone for a few months, very happy got alonggreat, met his dd, etc... all was wonderful, hmm or so I thought.He then told me on the phone that he wants to be single, lol.This is after he met my family etc.. grrr.
Oh well I was fine with it after the first few days crying, but, hey here is the bonus, I just found out I am pregnet!!!!!
Yes and no of course he wants nothing to do with me or the baby, soo .... just be thankful you were smart enough to end this before anything else happened.
One day our dream men will come into our lives, I have 100% faith in that, and I am 39, sooo...This is my first baby so he has given me the best gift in my life.
Hmm sorry tend to go on, lol.
You go out there and find mr right girl.Hugs. :D

[CordyC]

Don't you wish some men came with warning labels??? :mad: :mad:

Lily and Barbie, my thoughts are with you. Lily, the best thing to do is to keep on keeping on. It's always better to find out sooner rather than later.

And Barbie, you're so truly blessed to have the opportunity to be a mother. Going solo is not as daunting as it may appear. I did it, and my son is as normal as any 21-year-old Psychology student ever is! graemlins/crazy.gif

You know what, our Mr. Rights are probably on line with their buddies wondering why they can't meet someone decent. When we do meet our soulmates, all this hassle will be worth it!

[Bernie]

Well Lily, good for you for having the strength and foresight to break it off. That in itself can be very challenging to do. You've obviously made the right move! And good for you for getting right back on your feet and coming out a stronger woman, and going forward to your gym workout. graemlins/thumbup.gif

Barbie, I know that you'll do just fine on your own with the baby. Keep us posted on how things are going with you. And I'm sure that you'll be just fine with your healthy pregnancy! graemlins/bcbsalute.gif

[Brandalynn911]

Lily,

I think you should check out the article "Love Lessons" on pg 63 of February's issue of "O" magazine. It helped me to decipher a lot of the heartbreak I've gone thru in the past.

Good luck to you smile.gif

[diggeys]

Lily girl you go to that gym
work your A** off, because like me, when my husband and I had seperated. i went to the gym worked off and everytime I started to "think" about things i made myself workout. before you know it you tone up and LOOK good girl.

So like i say WORK YOUR A** OFF!!
You don't need him.....so when you do meet Mr. Right you'll look good gurl!!!

[Msmandeee]

Hey mislily! I feel your pain. i broke up with my BF last weekend. For similar reasons actually. We had been dating about a year and a half, and it was always where he wanted to go , what he wanted to do, he hated all my frineds.

I say GOOD FOR YOU! Who need em? I mean I feel better about making the right decision, as I am sure you do, but I am still kinda sad, cuz he used to be a nice guy.
]]
I like the work out idea. smile.gif Better than my moping. smile.gif

I think it will be all good til Valentines Day. MissLily are you part of the VDAY challenge?

We need something to make Valentines day positive, man free. smile.gif

Hang in there, everything happnes for a reason. smile.gif MandyB

[Alleycat76]

Miss Lily - you really made the right decision! What a loser to treat you that way just because you broke it off! Any guy with any self respect would have accepted it quietly. Sounds like he may have a bit of a temper, and you are far better off without men like that!

Good to see that like a true "Rules" girl, you got straight back into looking after you!

Barbie - congrats on the baby! Make sure you keep us updated!

[Chez130]

Good for you, Misslilly! graemlins/thumbup.gif That's what the "Rules" is about! Get rid of "Mr. Wrong", so "Mr. Right" can find you A.S.A.P. That's terrible what he said to you. I'm glad you got out before too much was invested. I had to dump a guy right after I found the Rules and he wasn't too happy about it, either. I tried to call him to say we could still be "friends" and he hung up on me. Oh well. At least he lived far enough away so I didn't have to worry about bumping into him again. BTW, good for you working off that steam instead of eating! GREAT JOB! graemlins/bcbsalute.gif

Barbie- congrats on your baby. A baby is the best love in the world.

[KatieMt0220]

I went through almost the same thing about a year ago. At first he was absolutely perfect,,,and I mean perfect....But things changed very quickly and I realized I would be miserable without him but I'm more miserable with him (Does that make sense) I broke it off with him and he flipped and called me every name in the book as well and that when I really saw his true colors...That made me think if someone had that much hatered toward me to say all that stuff to me then he was not worth it. I also cried for a weekend, but I decided to have the last word without even talking to him. When I went out and he was somewhere I would put the biggest smile on my face and laugh with my friends making it look like I was having the best time. It would always get him. That way your showing him you're better off without him. After awhile I didn't even notice he was around and my life is so much better without him. YOU'LL SURVIVE!!! :D Even though it might not feel like it now you will and your ten times better off without him Hope this helps graemlins/crazy.gif k

[MsWildfire]

Hey Lily!! Good for you!!! I did the same thing 1/20/03. I had been dating him since 11/1/02 and was enjoying myself until I started seeing another side to him over the holidays...He threw a tantrum because he only got $200 from him parents for x-mas..Gee, I'd be delighted!! He is mad at his mom because of something she said when he was 13...instead of cutting the ties or getting over it, he "keeps" her around for the money she gives him. OH, and EVERY woman had the hots for him. My sister didn't care for him because he tried to tell us how to treat our mother...look who's talking! He wanted to spend every free minute he had with me and couldn't see why I didn't care the same way. Well, hello, I have a life...work, housework, family and working out. He was willing to forgo whatever he had to do to be with me but I wasn't willing..OK, call me selfish...but I just realized he wasn't worth it. So...now I'm much happier, back OP and just had my brand new treadmill delivered yesterday. Now, I'm getting back to working on me...I realized nothing is more important in life than my health and my family. So, Lily, you go girl, work out, take care of yourself and Mr. Right will come along and if he doesn't then someone has a different life plan for you. I'm free, I'm free..

[JennyTN]

Ms Wildfire--
My ex-boyfriend must have moved to Cinncinatti and you got him!
ha ha ha smile.gif