mudpies
11-21-2001, 04:07 AM
Author Topic: No is a complete sentence
Linda at work
Newbie Buddy
Posts: 4
Registered: Jan 2001
posted 02-06-2001 11:53 AM
Good Morning Bootcamp Buddies!
I was just reading Murrikat's share in the Training Manual and it got me to thinking about something I learned about 8 years ago. She talked about taking care of oneself first.
The thing I learned 8 years ago was: "No is a complete sentence." I used to say yes to everyone. I over committed myself. The reason of course was that I wanted to please everyone and have everyone like me. What would then happen is that I would get resentful of the person who had asked me to do something. I then would either lie to get out of it or I would do it and feel angry about it. I was so good at being the victim/martyr.
I would then feel bad about myself and angry at myself that I couldn't stand up for myself. This lead into a vicious cycle of eating to push down the anger. Which then made me feel even worse about myself and then I would eat again.
Then a very special person in my life told me: "Linda, no is a complete sentence." I have learned that when someone asks me to do something I don't have the time or the need to do, I just say no. I don't have to give elaborate excuses or explain why. I can simply say no. I then have time for me.
If someone liked me because I said yes all the time, they didn't like the real me. They liked the phony me. I didn't used to have relationships, I took hostages. If I said yes, I expected something in return. Today that is no longer the case. The people who like me today like me for who I am. I like me today because I finally know who I am.
When someone offers me food that isn't part of my program, I simply say "no thanks". No other explaination is needed. I have learned that when I say no to someone else,I am saying yes to me. Yes to being healthy. Yes to taking care of me.
Have a wonderful day, unless of course you have other plans! Linda
Linda at work
Newbie Buddy
Posts: 4
Registered: Jan 2001
posted 02-06-2001 11:53 AM
Good Morning Bootcamp Buddies!
I was just reading Murrikat's share in the Training Manual and it got me to thinking about something I learned about 8 years ago. She talked about taking care of oneself first.
The thing I learned 8 years ago was: "No is a complete sentence." I used to say yes to everyone. I over committed myself. The reason of course was that I wanted to please everyone and have everyone like me. What would then happen is that I would get resentful of the person who had asked me to do something. I then would either lie to get out of it or I would do it and feel angry about it. I was so good at being the victim/martyr.
I would then feel bad about myself and angry at myself that I couldn't stand up for myself. This lead into a vicious cycle of eating to push down the anger. Which then made me feel even worse about myself and then I would eat again.
Then a very special person in my life told me: "Linda, no is a complete sentence." I have learned that when someone asks me to do something I don't have the time or the need to do, I just say no. I don't have to give elaborate excuses or explain why. I can simply say no. I then have time for me.
If someone liked me because I said yes all the time, they didn't like the real me. They liked the phony me. I didn't used to have relationships, I took hostages. If I said yes, I expected something in return. Today that is no longer the case. The people who like me today like me for who I am. I like me today because I finally know who I am.
When someone offers me food that isn't part of my program, I simply say "no thanks". No other explaination is needed. I have learned that when I say no to someone else,I am saying yes to me. Yes to being healthy. Yes to taking care of me.
Have a wonderful day, unless of course you have other plans! Linda