OT: Ask me advice!

[boychucker]

I know you all greatly value my opinion and what I say matters. So in this thread, you will ask me advice and I will give it to you. The only rules are that I am right, and arguing will get you ignored by me for the duration of this thread.

Also, I'll try not to be offensive, but if you ask questions with potentially hurtful answers, be prepared for them. I won't curse, make fun of your race/religion, or call you stupid. I may imply the last one though.

[mariemorgan]

You are silly!

Oh great powerful Derek, what should I have for dinner tonight?

[boychucker]

You are silly!

Oh great powerful Derek, what should I have for dinner tonight?Portabello mushroom sandwich. Throw some balsamic vineggar and crushed garlic on there and brush it with a teaspoon of oil. Hopefully you have a grill pan or a Foreman grill because it is the best that way. If not, you can cut it into strips with some onion and go ahead and cook it until it is soft. Then put it on some good bread (spend a couple points on a nice sourdough because the mushroom is low calorie!)

If you'd like, some fat fre feta makes an excellent finish to this. I also find that rosemary will add a good flavor, and Target has rosemary christmas trees for sale now that are festive, functional, and smell fantastic.

[mariemorgan]

That really sounds good... thanks derek ;)

[irishskills01]

haha i already got my advice from you yesterday

[shrinky]

Hooray! This thread should be interesting. :p

Here's my advice question: With a limit of $150, what should I get my husband as a holiday gift? He already has all of the video games, gadgets, CDs, etc, he wants, unfortunately.

[boychucker]

Hooray! This thread should be interesting. :p

Here's my advice question: With a limit of $150, what should I get my husband as a holiday gift? He already has all of the video games, gadgets, CDs, etc, he wants, unfortunately.You should make him go with you on a trip to the local mall. Say you want to do some holiday shopping and just walk him through a few stores with items you know he's into (you could even do this at a place like Target or Costco with the same results.)

Without fail, he will pick something up and look at it and right off the bat you have ideas. Guys are just like girls when it comes to window shopping. We all pick up things we know we'd like to own. If he's a gadget guy I can guarantee you that there are 20 gadgets he'd like to own that you don't necessarily already know about.

Alternately, you could pick a nice local destination and give him a night at a hotel with a romantic dinner. You'd think this might be something a guy would scoff at, but if you put out after dinner, a relaxing time might be just the right thing for him. Plan a Saturday afternoon where you can drive for a couple of hours, stop, have dinner and check into a bed for an evening of romance. Maybe Sunday will be a side trip to a small attraction that he has an interest in. Show your appreciation for him in ways other than in tangible gifts that break/get lost/become outdated.

[renchop]

Here's one for you Derek...

How do I get my husband to stop smoking without being a nag?

[boychucker]

Here's one for you Derek...

How do I get my husband to stop smoking without being a nag?I don't think you can. I think you should be a nag. Smoking is disgusting.

The problem with addiction is that you really can't make someone quit. The will has to be their own, which sucks. I don't even consider dating smokers because i think it is disgusting, but since you decided to marry one you will probably either have to nag or maybe find a way to equate his gross smoking to something potentially hazardous/real in his life so he understands he needs to stop. Maybe kick him in the groin and then when he complains, tell him lung cancer hurts more.

Or you could just tell him you're less attracted to him or just stop putting out. In my brain sex > everything so it would win for me.

[annisfaith]

What is the difference between an MP3 player and an Ipod? (okay so maybe this isn't asking for advice, but I want to know! LOL)

[boychucker]

What is the difference between an MP3 player and an Ipod? (okay so maybe this isn't asking for advice, but I want to know! LOL)An iPod is an mp3 player. The nano and the shufffle are meant to only playback music in mp3 or aac format, while the regular iPod now plays back video.

iPod is made by Apple and is considered industry standard. There are a large number of competitors on the market, but none are as widely distributed as the iPod.

[Chief]

nevermind.

[boychucker]

I hope I'm not butting in, but Ipod is a brand of an MP3 player.You are, thanks.

[renchop]

Maybe kick him in the groin and then when he complains, tell him lung cancer hurts more.You are hilarious. That made my day.

[JessD]

^ ditto that. You're like, my hero now.

[kharizzmatik]

HA this will be fun... I have a serious question, could use a guys input! :p

I'm a single mom, my son is almost 2 years old. I can count on my fingers the number of times his father has seen him... we haven't heard from him in about 6 months now. He pretends like my child doesn't exist but he does pay child support, it's garnished from his paycheck, but it's a small amount in the large scheme of things and wouldn't even cover a babysitter or daycare. But anyway, he's only ever bought ONE thing for my son, and that was a pair of Air Jordan retros... he purchased them when they first came out for around $100 and they STILL don't fit my childs feet, won't for another year or two. I also find them very ugly and don't understand the big deal with them, I'd prolly never even put them on my son because they wouldn't match very much (yes, I make my child match head to toe). We're struggling with the holidays, and I could easily get $50-75 for them through ebay or craigslist... Last year around christmas his father said he wasn't buying him anything, since I got child support I needed to just put his name on the gifts I bought because he "contributed"... so does that mean I can sell the shoes to buy christmas presents without having guilt, or is it wrong of me to sell the only thing his father ever bought him?
A guys viewpoint is always nice ;)

[Wigglesj]

Sell the d*a*m*n shoes and don't dare add the deadbeat's name to a single gift! I'm :mad: for you~

[roxy-beLLa]

Sell the d*a*m*n shoes and don't dare add the deadbeat's name to a single gift! I'm :mad: for you~i second that!!!

[ads1979]

Sell the d*a*m*n shoes and don't dare add the deadbeat's name to a single gift! I'm :mad: for you~
I agree!!!!

[boychucker]

Now, before I even read the ACTUAL question, I'd just like to make you ladies aware that the title of this thread is "Ask me advice" with the obvious emphasis in bold. If you want to play, you can have your own thread. If you'd like to ask me something, that's great, but Jessee, she didn't ask you. :)

Now...

Jessica. Your child is 2 years old. There are a lot of things that are important to a 2 year old child and I sincerely doubt that the latest and greatest Air Jordans are any comparison to something that he is actually concerned with (what do kids like these days? I have no idea!)

Anyhow... The kid isn't going to remember a pair of shoes that fit him when he was 3 as the only gift his father ever gave him. If it was something like a nice watch or something that either appreciated in value over time or that had real sentimental value, I'd say hold onto it because it may mean something someday. This is different. It is a pair of shoes. The older your kid gets, the more aware he will be of the fact that his father never gave him a **** thing. Selling the shoes at this point will really not make any difference in the mind of that child whatsoever.

I will suggest two things. One, be honest with the kid. If his dad never buys him another thing as long as he lives, tell the kid that he bought him a pair of shoes once. Don't use it as a negative, just as a fact. Your child will be able to form enough opinions of his father without you being negative, and if he knows that in his entire life all his dad contributed was a pair of shoes (and a pair that is too big and will no doubt be out of style by the time they DO fit!) then he'll be able to look at that as a pretty strong indication of how pops really feels.

Second, I would take the money you get from the shoes and invest it. Don't buy him another toy or something that will make him happy for the next 6 months. I know it is only 50-75 dollars, but that money will grow. If you can figure it out, just use it as incentive to even put 5-10 dollars a month (or as often as you can afford it) into a fund with some growth behind it. When it comes time for your boy to decide which college he wants to go to, it may not be enough to pay for it, but it'll at least be a nice trip to Eurpoe for a month. and really, finding 10 dollars a month to stuff away in a bond or money market account wouldn't be that difficult. Someone at your bank could help, and you could turn this stupid pair of shoes into something really valuable for your child's future.

I do suggest making sure that money goes to the kid though. That's important because if you spend even one cent on something else, he could end up using that against you at some point and you don't want that. Make sure it is something special.

And I know that you resent this man for leaving you out in this world with a kid and only giving you money because the government takes it, but think about just trying to leave that viewpoint out of your kid's thoughts. Like I said, he'll be smart enough to form that opinion on his own.

OH! And don't sign his dad's name to anything. Gifts should be thoughtful and just signing your name to something doesn't mean jack.

[boychucker]

As I was hitting submit, I was thinking I should add:

It is the holiday season. It means something different for everyone, but this is the one time of year that nice and forgiving Derek comes out of the woodwork and actually considers the feelings of others. We should all remember that and we should consider that gifts shouldn't be mandatory and should be bought out of love for the person you're giving them to. And I just think that any negativity directed towards these shoes is probably just misdirected and should probably be swallowed to at least just have a good Christmas without any ill feeling.

[AmandaRose-83]

Alternately, you could pick a nice local destination and give him a night at a hotel with a romantic dinner. You'd think this might be something a guy would scoff at, but if you put out after dinner, a relaxing time might be just the right thing for him. Plan a Saturday afternoon where you can drive for a couple of hours, stop, have dinner and check into a bed for an evening of romance. Maybe Sunday will be a side trip to a small attraction that he has an interest in. Show your appreciation for him in ways other than in tangible gifts that break/get lost/become outdated.
OMG...I actually agree with this advice. This is really a good idea. My man makes laughs at me for doing things like this, but I know that he loves it. One year, I made home made gift certificates for a back rub, a little naughty something...you get the drift.

[boychucker]

OMG...I actually agree with this advice. This is really a good idea. My man makes laughs at me for doing things like this, but I know that he loves it. One year, I made home made gift certificates for a back rub, a little naughty something...you get the drift.There's no fault in my advice. I wouldn't give it if I wasn't right. :)

[AmandaRose-83]

Ahhhh...how cute. Derek is turning into the Dr. Laura of BCB. :)

[boychucker]

Ahhhh...how cute. Derek is turning into the Dr. Laura of BCB. :)Quiet, or I'll make fun of you for living in Banning.

[kharizzmatik]

lol thanks to all of you who offered me advice! I definitely haven't and don't intend to ever sign his name to anything.

I am going to sell the shoes but unfortunately Derek I won't be able to invest it right now as when I said we're struggling I truly mean it. I will use the money for my son (every penny of it) but it will be used to buy him a coat and a few winter clothes... he's not getting any toys for christmas from me, as I can't afford any. I'm sure his grandparents will get him a few tho (We live with them...).

But yes, I have hostility towards the man and try to suck it up... I never let my son see it and will never speak negatively about him to my son as i do believe as my child grows up he'll form his own opinion of his father. So no worries there... :)

[boychucker]

Well, if you can't afford it, that's understandable. I think you know what you need to do. :)

[Crysco]

I have two choices. I can look into a medication for my manic-depression, although I'm scared it will change my personality in a negative way. Or, I could continue to deal with my manic-depression but know that I really know who I am. I'm afraid that meds will make me not really know who I am. DBF is suffering from my insane depressive states. He is understanding, but I can't live my life with this. I've been battling it for years, it has only gotten worse. Is it taking the "easy way out" by taking meds? What if I turn into a zombie and never see it?

[boychucker]

I have two choices. I can look into a medication for my manic-depression, although I'm scared it will change my personality in a negative way. Or, I could continue to deal with my manic-depression but know that I really know who I am. I'm afraid that meds will make me not really know who I am. DBF is suffering from my insane depressive states. He is understanding, but I can't live my life with this. I've been battling it for years, it has only gotten worse. Is it taking the "easy way out" by taking meds? What if I turn into a zombie and never see it?That's a tough one. My father, my uncle, and my aunt all take medication for their mood swings. I've been to a therapist for a number of reasons and the first thing they always ask is, "what about medication?" and the first thing I say is absolutely 100% not. I am scared of the same thing. What will it do to my personality. I'm obviously a bit rough around the edges, but I think people sort of learn to appreciate who I am with time and they are accepting of most of it to a point. There's just that line that is really difficult to maintain that I sometimes cross and end up hurting people.

On the other hand, if it is something that is a bit out of control, then you really need to consider the alternatives. Before you try medication, perhaps consider some of the environmental factors around you and see if any of that can be changed to stabilize your mood a little. I had a job once where I was pretty convinced I was going to snap at any moment and I knew I had to get out of there ASAP. So I did.

I understand your hesitation when it comes to medication and I do think you should be careful. But if you really feel out of control, consider talking about the risks with your doctor and even get a second and third opinion from a neutral professional source. With something as serious as mental health, there's never enough professional advice.

[TheLovelyJesse]

Teehee, this is one of the cutest threads I've seen..

[CW]

I gotta admit that this has been an amazing thread. Well done.


Derek, would it be appropriate for some of us to send some christmas in kharizzmatik's direction?

CW

[linbein]

Allright Derek, this has been a great thread! Who knew you'd be so wise? hehehe!

SO...I know you already answered someone elses Xmas question. But how about this? What do you buy for the man who has really no interests, no hobbies, and refuses to go shoppin? :) I have tried taking my husband to the store to pick things out, but he just doesn't shop. There is something wrong with him! All he tells me he wants is a new HDTV. And well, I jut don't have $800 for that. What can I buy him that would mean something to him and that he could get some use out of?

[heavynomore]

All right, here goes, I need a guys opinion on this situation.

So DH and I are going to Cancun in January and we agreed to not buy each other any Christmas presents. However, I have already bought him a very expensive autographed print from an art gallery. My mom has contributed her Christmas portion to this as well. It is something he has wanted for a long time and I had to convince him this weekend that it really was unnecessary to go to this gallery and look at prints because we are going on vacation and need to save the money for that.

So, would you be upset about getting this gift for Christmas after we stated we would not get each other anything? And if so, what do I do now?

[smylin_atcha]

I gotta admit that this has been an amazing thread. Well done.


Derek, would it be appropriate for some of us to send some christmas in kharizzmatik's direction?

CW
I think this is a great idea...and although I generally dont post here...I would be wiling to send some Christmas her way as well, of course...this all depends on Derek!

[shrinky]

Thank you Derek - those are great ideas!

[kiki & jojos mommy]

Derek, would it be appropriate for some of us to send some christmas in kharizzmatik's direction?

CW
I don't usually post here either but would love to send some christmas her way as well. Come on Derek what do ya say?

[boychucker]

Allright Derek, this has been a great thread! Who knew you'd be so wise? hehehe!

SO...I know you already answered someone elses Xmas question. But how about this? What do you buy for the man who has really no interests, no hobbies, and refuses to go shoppin? :) I have tried taking my husband to the store to pick things out, but he just doesn't shop. There is something wrong with him! All he tells me he wants is a new HDTV. And well, I jut don't have $800 for that. What can I buy him that would mean something to him and that he could get some use out of?Does he really have no interests or hobbies? What does he do when he gets home for the day? What about on the weekends? I am sure there is something he likes to do that doesnt involve a television.

If not, perhaps you should try and find something new for him. Does he like music? Does he like the outdoors? Maybe pick a few different things that could actually get him into having a hobby. Think about what he really likes and try and encourage some activity or creativity. I know it isn't easy, but sometimes we need a push to get us on a good track.

I think everyone has interests and finding something that compliments those interests may take a little creativity on your part, but you can do it.

[boychucker]

All right, here goes, I need a guys opinion on this situation.

So DH and I are going to Cancun in January and we agreed to not buy each other any Christmas presents. However, I have already bought him a very expensive autographed print from an art gallery. My mom has contributed her Christmas portion to this as well. It is something he has wanted for a long time and I had to convince him this weekend that it really was unnecessary to go to this gallery and look at prints because we are going on vacation and need to save the money for that.

So, would you be upset about getting this gift for Christmas after we stated we would not get each other anything? And if so, what do I do now?You already bought it, so the "what do I do now?" part is pretty obvious. You give it to him.

I wouldn't be upset. I'd be thrilled to get something I had wanted for a long time. He will appreciate the gift regardless of the circumstances. He may feel a little bit off shame if he hasn't already gone out and bought you something, but that will fade. Just explain to him that you know you said no presents, but you love him and you really thought he needed to have it. Maybe tell him that the best thing you could get for Christmas is the good feeling of giving him the gift he wanted so much.

And if you have to, go ahead and lie and say your mom paid for most of it. :)

[boychucker]

I gotta admit that this has been an amazing thread. Well done.


Derek, would it be appropriate for some of us to send some christmas in kharizzmatik's direction?

CWOf course it would be appropriate.

[CW]

Of course it would be appropriate.I thought so too. but, Like Jeopardy I wanted it to be in the form of a question..:D
CW

[heavynomore]

You already bought it, so the "what do I do now?" part is pretty obvious. You give it to him.

I wouldn't be upset. I'd be thrilled to get something I had wanted for a long time. He will appreciate the gift regardless of the circumstances. He may feel a little bit off shame if he hasn't already gone out and bought you something, but that will fade. Just explain to him that you know you said no presents, but you love him and you really thought he needed to have it. Maybe tell him that the best thing you could get for Christmas is the good feeling of giving him the gift he wanted so much.

And if you have to, go ahead and lie and say your mom paid for most of it. :)
Thanks for the advice. I just didn't know if I should tell him ahead of time about it or just wait until he opens it.

[boychucker]

Thanks for the advice. I just didn't know if I should tell him ahead of time about it or just wait until he opens it.Wait. Surprises are much more fun.

[AmandaRose-83]

never ever mind

[boychucker]

never ever minddid I miss something? :(

[ezrasgurl]

Of course it would be appropriate.
OK, it's appropriate....so where do we go from here?

pia :)

[boychucker]

OK, it's appropriate....so where do we go from here?

pia :)Good question. read the stickied thread at the top of the T-20s board.

[ezrasgurl]

Here's one for you: my deadbeat brother-in-law refuses to acknowledge that DH and me need help in taking care of his father. In fact, at the last family meeting about it (at the end of which we still ended up the sole financial providers), he just sat there in the room and played Suduko. It seems that telling him about our own financial plight didn't get a response out of him, except for him to say that we "have some work to do"......do we just accept the fact that he's a doorknob, or do we call him on it? He doesn't have a job right now, but he seems to have enough to go out and buy the new Wii, and play on his X-Box 360, and take his DGF and her kid out on vacation. I myself would LOVE to ream him out, but I don't know if it's my place....

[ezrasgurl]

Good question. read the stickied thread at the top of the T-20s board.
Got it, thanks dude....

pia :)

[boychucker]

Here's one for you: my deadbeat brother-in-law refuses to acknowledge that DH and me need help in taking care of his father. In fact, at the last family meeting about it (at the end of which we still ended up the sole financial providers), he just sat there in the room and played Suduko. It seems that telling him about our own financial plight didn't get a response out of him, except for him to say that we "have some work to do"......do we just accept the fact that he's a doorknob, or do we call him on it? He doesn't have a job right now, but he seems to have enough to go out and buy the new Wii, and play on his X-Box 360, and take his DGF and her kid out on vacation. I myself would LOVE to ream him out, but I don't know if it's my place....It isn't your place. It IS your husband's place. If you are concerned you will need to talk to him about it and have him talk to his brother. If he pushes back, there might not be anything you can do about it, but that's just how life goes sometimes. You can't force someone to want to care and participate. He should know that you do not approve though, and your husband needs to speak up.

[S@R@H]

I don't know about most of you, but me and DF fill each others stalkings every year...I am having a hard time figuring out what to fill his with this year...so Derek, what do you think a 29 year old male would like to find in his stalking??

[queenie521]

I have a question for the all-knowing one. I just got married earlier this year and therefore have written out about 200 thankyou cards between my shower and my wedding. I didnt want to do christmas cards this year because I have written so much already and I have recently seen everyone. I consider christmas cards to be a way of catching up and touching base with your friends and family but I am up to date on all this. DH thinks that not sending cards would be extrememly rude especially to those who send cards to us (am I supposed to be psychic and know who will send us cards?). I know DH wont do the cards so that would leave me to do all of them AGAIN. What should I do?

[boychucker]

I don't know about most of you, but me and DF fill each others stalkings every year...I am having a hard time figuring out what to fill his with this year...so Derek, what do you think a 29 year old male would like to find in his stalking??29, huh? seems like so long ago to me. :)

In my stocking that my parents get me every year, I usually get a bunch of candy and crap that I give away. In my stocking from my significant other every year (in the years that I have one) I get things like DVDs and cooking tools and other stuff I am interested in. Now, I doubt your guy is going to want a candy thermometer and guitar strings and picks, but there are plenty of small things that can fit in a stocking. Iff he's not on a diet I'd still go with good chocolate and stuff like that. Maybe a video game or something. It should be fun, and it doesn't have to be anything big or important because it is just a stocking.

[boychucker]

I have a question for the all-knowing one. I just got married earlier this year and therefore have written out about 200 thankyou cards between my shower and my wedding. I didnt want to do christmas cards this year because I have written so much already and I have recently seen everyone. I consider christmas cards to be a way of catching up and touching base with your friends and family but I am up to date on all this. DH thinks that not sending cards would be extrememly rude especially to those who send cards to us (am I supposed to be psychic and know who will send us cards?). I know DH wont do the cards so that would leave me to do all of them AGAIN. What should I do?I think you should send them. I also think you should find a way to make it creative enough so you're not bored writing all of them. There are plenty of things you can do to make it interesting and seem like less of a chore.

And if your husband thinks it is so important, make him help. Tell him that you just don't have the energy to do it all and you'd like some assistance. Gender roles don't specify that it is a female only type of activity, so he should be right there with you doing that sort of thing.

[S@R@H]

29, huh? seems like so long ago to me. :)

In my stocking that my parents get me every year, I usually get a bunch of candy and crap that I give away. In my stocking from my significant other every year (in the years that I have one) I get things like DVDs and cooking tools and other stuff I am interested in. Now, I doubt your guy is going to want a candy thermometer and guitar strings and picks, but there are plenty of small things that can fit in a stocking. Iff he's not on a diet I'd still go with good chocolate and stuff like that. Maybe a video game or something. It should be fun, and it doesn't have to be anything big or important because it is just a stocking.
Thanks!! he would love a game and lots of Chocolate so that is what I will do...the boy doesn't need to diet, he eats all he wants and never gains a effin pound...sometimes I just feel like B**** slappin him...LOL

[boychucker]

Thanks!! he would love a game and lots of Chocolate so that is what I will do...the boy doesn't need to diet, he eats all he wants and never gains a effin pound...sometimes I just feel like B**** slappin him...LOLJust think of it this way, better that he doesn't gain a pound than having to live with a fat slob. :)

[S@R@H]

Just think of it this way, better that he doesn't gain a pound than having to live with a fat slob. :)
LMAO...that is great....thanks!

[johnson2693]

OK...I also need a guy's opinion.

DB and I have been together for 9 years. I have lived with him and his dad and brother off and on since we've been together. For the past year, I have been living with them permanently. I cook, clean and perform all "domestic duties" for him and his family. We've never talked about marriage. However, lately I've been thinking that it's time we either get married (or at least engaged) or move on. Granted, I love him to death but I'm not entirely sure where our relationship is going. I have never pushed the issue or even brought it up because I don't want to scare him away. I have been focusing on finishing school as my first priority and will be done in May. He has said a few times within the past couple of months that "we will always be together". Is that his man way of showing that he is thinking about our future? Should I bring up the whole marriage thing or just let things evolve on their own?

[boychucker]

This is sort of a big question. I mean there's a lot of things I'd really need to know in order to answer this. Have you ever brought up marriage before? Does he know that your plan in life is to someday get married? Has he expressed an interest in marriage?

Here's the tough part. If you say to him, "I think it is time we got married or I am going to have to move on" he will marry you. But you have to really try to understand where he's at before you have that conversation. Is he happy with the status quo? Does he see himself as the marrying type? Marriage these days isn't as permanent as it was in previous generations, so some people take the jump without thinking of all the consequences.

I also don't think that marriage does anything other than change your tax bracket. If you love someone, having the state say that you're official makes very little difference to me. Of course you have a ring and you can say "husband" instead of "boyfriend", but I think the world is a lot less traditional than it used to be.

Oh, and if you do consider talking to him about marriage, wait until after the new year. If he's been talking about "forever" and that's a new type of talk, there's a small chance he's going to spring this on you sometime soon, so maybe just give him a little time. I mean if you love him and you think he loves you enough to mean that talk of forever, then maybe patience is a good virtue. But I fully understand your situation and I know it isn't easy.

[johnson2693]

Thanks for the advice! I'm not really in a big rush to get married. I come from a family where my mother, aunts, grandmother were not married and had kids before the age of 21. I guess I just want to do things differently than my family. I could go on for hours about this.....thanks for a male perspective!

[boychucker]

Please keep in mind that I am not a typical male perspective. I'm a little off the beaten path most of the time.

[johnson2693]

I am well aware of that! LOL!

[Crysco]

I don't know about most of you, but me and DF fill each others stalkings every year...I am having a hard time figuring out what to fill his with this year...so Derek, what do you think a 29 year old male would like to find in his stalking??
I'm so sorry LOL but its "stocking." I just had to laugh because, you know, STALKERS, stalkings, I just keep thinking, "I'm going to stalk you this year for christmas"

[boychucker]

I'm so sorry LOL but its "stocking." I just had to laugh because, you know, STALKERS, stalkings, I just keep thinking, "I'm going to stalk you this year for christmas"Oh, I had to bite my tongue on that one too.

[boychucker]

Thanks for the advice! I'm not really in a big rush to get married. I come from a family where my mother, aunts, grandmother were not married and had kids before the age of 21. I guess I just want to do things differently than my family. I could go on for hours about this.....thanks for a male perspective!You shouldn't be in a big rush to get married. You're what, 26 years old? The fact that you've been with one guy for so long also plays a big role in this. You two haven't dated anyone in your adult lives other than each other. He might have a problem with that too. Just a thought.

[S@R@H]

I'm so sorry LOL but its "stocking." I just had to laugh because, you know, STALKERS, stalkings, I just keep thinking, "I'm going to stalk you this year for christmas"
yeah, I have a spelling problem....I will admit it...I do that to a lot of words

[ek225]

Alright, Derek...
I'm not sure if you're a prank kind of guy, but I am horrible at pranks/dares/etc. I have some old co-workers that I'd love to mess with, so I'm looking for some totally harmless pranks to play on them. We're not in the same office anymore so it can't involve anything with their computers.

Thanks in advance!

[ek225]

I have some old co-workers that I'd love to mess with, so I'm looking for some totally harmless pranks to play on them.
"Old" as in "former," not "old" as in "pushing 95."

[boychucker]

I have to do some serious thinking about this prank advice. I'll get back to you.

[ek225]

I have to do some serious thinking about this prank advice. I'll get back to you.
Thanks! I can't wait to hear what you have to say. I'm grinning in anticipation. :D

[boychucker]

I'm having trouble thinking of pranks to play on people via proxy. All of my favorite tricks really involve getting into people's stuff and being able to manipulate their stuff.

The other part of pranks is the fact that the most fun ones come from your creativity, so just passing someone else's prank off is not usually as satisfying as if you think of it yourself.

That said, google is an amazing resource for finding things that other people have done. Additionally, there are sites like http://www.hoaxmail.co.uk/ which will spoof the sender's email address so you can write letters from seemingly important people. Be careful this doesn't get someone in trouble though. :)

[prisongal]

I need some advice. My DBF recently purchased a house about 6 months ago. However before he brought it he was concerned about the plane noise that was near the house. Now after living there he hates it and wants to sell the house. He brought the house becasue of me and my two kids and so we could all live together since his first house was too small for all of us. I've told him I will help looking for another house, clean the house he has now to try and sell it and help him. I've posted it online to help try and sell it. I'm trying to be supportive and caring and understanding. I've gone out of my way to show him how much I love him adn care about him. None of this seems to help him. He is so unhappy and just general depressed all the time. My question is how can I help him?

TIA

[boychucker]

I need some advice. My DBF recently purchased a house about 6 months ago. However before he brought it he was concerned about the plane noise that was near the house. Now after living there he hates it and wants to sell the house. He brought the house becasue of me and my two kids and so we could all live together since his first house was too small for all of us. I've told him I will help looking for another house, clean the house he has now to try and sell it and help him. I've posted it online to help try and sell it. I'm trying to be supportive and caring and understanding. I've gone out of my way to show him how much I love him adn care about him. None of this seems to help him. He is so unhappy and just general depressed all the time. My question is how can I help him?

TIAI think being supportive at this time is really all you can do. Just continue being supportive and showing him that you really care and I think that's the best you can do for now. Is the eventual move going to cost him a lot of money? Is there additional stress involved with finding a new place? I mean other than the obvious moving costs and taking the time to do so, of course.

If you two really love each other, and you move and find a good place to settle that you're both happy with, I really think it will work itself out. These kind of life issues are really too complex for a simple answer, and I think you need to talk with him and comfort him as much as you can.

[prisongal]

Thank you for the advice. I think the costs involved are what concern him the most. He is worried that he won't beable to sell the new house for as much as he brought it for since he has done some improvemnts on it. Plus it could be a while before it's sold. He has said that he would like us to get married, but is waiting till everything works out with the house situation. Which I think is adding to his stress and unhappiness too.

I will try and continue being comforting til the situation resloves.

[shrinky]

I've got another question (I hope it's ok to ask two!).

I am picking out a gift to enter into my office's Yankee Swap. If you don't know what a Yankee Swap is (and I'm fairly sure most non-New Englanders do, because I certainly didn't until I moved here), it's basically like a grab bag, where people pick anonymously wrapped presents not knowing what they are. In my company, the gifts are usually gag gifts, booze, or chocolate, and despite my general grinchyness, I think they're pretty fun.

Should I get:
Twisted Sister's Christmas album
or
A really dorky Rappin' Santa
?

[boychucker]

I've got another question (I hope it's ok to ask two!).

I am picking out a gift to enter into my office's Yankee Swap. If you don't know what a Yankee Swap is (and I'm fairly sure most non-New Englanders do, because I certainly didn't until I moved here), it's basically like a grab bag, where people pick anonymously wrapped presents not knowing what they are. In my company, the gifts are usually gag gifts, booze, or chocolate, and despite my general grinchyness, I think they're pretty fun.

Should I get:
Twisted Sister's Christmas album
or
A really dorky Rappin' Santa
?Oh man! I didn't know Twisted Sister had a Christmas album! Please send it to 3378 Felton Street, San Diego, CA 92104. OK, thanks!!

[Brandalynn911]

I started "working" for my current employer ( a fire dept & ambulance comp) when I was 14 as an explorer. I loved it. I did ride alongs nearly every day up until I became a 911 dispatcher at 19. Now I'm almost 29 and I'm still working at the same place. I'm starting to get burned out and really want to make a change but I can't think of anything else I would want to do. I think that I would like to quit my job and stay home and take care of my stepdaughter & dbf for a while but I feel like this job is my identity. I dont know who I will be if I'm not a dispatcher, but clearly I am not happy in my job because I cry every day I have to go to work. What should I do?

[Cassie0624]

Ok, I have a question for ya. My MIL is an ungrateful wench, every Christmas present I ever got her is in a closet collecting dust. I got her some very nice grapevine pictures that match her kitchen decor, a gorgeous and kinda expensive tabletop fountain, and some "tastes of the border" food products (cactus salsa, jalapeno jelly and a cookbook cause FIL loves spicy foods and she wanted to get a cookbook to make different foods for him). So what should I get her for Christmas? Thanks for any advice I can get from ya! Oh and by the way, DH feels the same way, this is his step mom.

This is the coolest thread!

[boychucker]

Ok, I have a question for ya. My MIL is an ungrateful wench, every Christmas present I ever got her is in a closet collecting dust. I got her some very nice grapevine pictures that match her kitchen decor, a gorgeous and kinda expensive tabletop fountain, and some "tastes of the border" food products (cactus salsa, jalapeno jelly and a cookbook cause FIL loves spicy foods and she wanted to get a cookbook to make different foods for him). So what should I get her for Christmas? Thanks for any advice I can get from ya! Oh and by the way, DH feels the same way, this is his step mom.

This is the coolest thread!Call your father-in-law. Ask him what to get her. He will give you a couple of ideas. Then, you get one of the things he suggested. At that point, you dont need to care what she thinks about it because it isnt anything you picked out. Either that or you can just get her something you know she will hate just for kicks. You know, something she will open and make a sour face at. Thats what I do to my grandfather.

[boychucker]

I started "working" for my current employer ( a fire dept & ambulance comp) when I was 14 as an explorer. I loved it. I did ride alongs nearly every day up until I became a 911 dispatcher at 19. Now I'm almost 29 and I'm still working at the same place. I'm starting to get burned out and really want to make a change but I can't think of anything else I would want to do. I think that I would like to quit my job and stay home and take care of my stepdaughter & dbf for a while but I feel like this job is my identity. I dont know who I will be if I'm not a dispatcher, but clearly I am not happy in my job because I cry every day I have to go to work. What should I do?Does your current employer offer any long term retirement options? You have 10 years invested there and that is a lot of time at one place. I think what you need to do is find something new to have as your identity. Dont let your job be your life. Start a new hobby and get your mind off of work when you arent there. Eventually you will get out of this funk, but the fact is you found something you like to do and even if it isnt doing it for you right now, losing that will be harder in a year when you start looking for something better.

I gave away a guitar amp once. It was the best amp I had ever owned and now I wish I had it back. You need to realize these things sooner than later sometimes. I think you should stick with the job. I dunno, maybe you can pick up guitar or something. :)

[ThegirlinSeattle]

I re-met an old friend after breaking up with my BF of 2+ years and we hung out for a few days (he lives in anoter city). I have very strong feelings for him, I don't believe he reciprocates. Any ideas of how to not think about him?

- A

[boychucker]

I re-met an old friend after breaking up with my BF of 2+ years and we hung out for a few days (he lives in anoter city). I have very strong feelings for him, I don't believe he reciprocates. Any ideas of how to not think about him?

- AGo ahead and think about him, but realize that even if he did reciprocate he lives in a different city and long distance relationsips are a lot of trouble. Also, you just got out of a relationship so you might just have some confused feelings and you'll want to give yourself time.

If that doesn't work, you can always just think about me. I'm dreamy.

[LilOne]

How should I go about bringing a 2 month old cat into my house that already has 2 dogs, one of which may potentially be afraid of the cat??

[boychucker]

How should I go about bringing a 2 month old cat into my house that already has 2 dogs, one of which may potentially be afraid of the cat??What kind of a dog is afraid of a cat?

[LilOne]

What kind of a dog is afraid of a cat?My roomate's shih tzu grew up with a cat so he's not a problem. My dog (Finnish Spitz) is a rescue dog and was found being attacked by other animals on the street. She used to be skiddish around some dogs but she's gotten better and has dealt with the other dogs she's been put around okay. We have stray cats that live in our apartment complex and everytime she sees them she tries to chase after them but we really want our own kitty. I'm concerned that she won't adjust and we would be putting both my dog and the new cat in danger.

[boychucker]

My roomate's shih tzu grew up with a cat so he's not a problem. My dog (Finnish Spitz) is a rescue dog and was found being attacked by other animals on the street. She used to be skiddish around some dogs but she's gotten better and has dealt with the other dogs she's been put around okay. We have stray cats that live in our apartment complex and everytime she sees them she tries to chase after them but we really want our own kitty. I'm concerned that she won't adjust and we would be putting both my dog and the new cat in danger.If the dog is not fond of cats, getting a cat would be wholly irresponsible. Unfortunately, many rescue animals have issues and accepting the responsibility of one of them means understanding that. My old dog just killed a cat last month because it got too close. You cannot necessarily trust your rescue animals in situations they are not used to. Preparing your dog for that kind of interaction may take months or longer if it is ever even possible.

[LilOne]

See the thing is I don't know how she feels about cats... She freaked out at our other dog the first time she met him and now they're the best of friends.. I can't judge her reactions just because she barks at cats and runs after them she did the same thing to potted plants...

[boychucker]

See the thing is I don't know how she feels about cats... She freaked out at our other dog the first time she met him and now they're the best of friends.. I can't judge her reactions just because she barks at cats and runs after them she did the same thing to potted plants...Then go to the shelter and have a supervised visit with your dog and a shelter cat. They'll do that for you.

[heavynomore]

So if you saw my own thread, I have been asked to tell my weight loss story for a local magazine. The thing is, I have mixed feelings about it. I am kind of embarrassed that I weighed that much to begin with and I don't want people to make fun of me for getting so big. Another part wants to tell people that it is ok to be big and that losing weight the natural or WW way is very healthy and really works. So what do you think I should do?

[boychucker]

So if you saw my own thread, I have been asked to tell my weight loss story for a local magazine. The thing is, I have mixed feelings about it. I am kind of embarrassed that I weighed that much to begin with and I don't want people to make fun of me for getting so big. Another part wants to tell people that it is ok to be big and that losing weight the natural or WW way is very healthy and really works. So what do you think I should do?The fact is, people know how big you were. The people who know you understand what you've been through. The people who don't know you will see you an an inspiration. I think the magazine is a good idea. None of us are necessarily proud of what we let ourselves become, but we've all made great accomplishments in our lives to become new people. Embrace that.

[heavynomore]

The fact is, people know how big you were. The people who know you understand what you've been through. The people who don't know you will see you an an inspiration. I think the magazine is a good idea. None of us are necessarily proud of what we let ourselves become, but we've all made great accomplishments in our lives to become new people. Embrace that.
Thanks for the advice. You make some good points.

[shrinky]

I just had to send my broken iPod in and am waiting for Circuit City to give me a refund (they are supposed to give me a gift card for what I originally paid since it's an old model no longer made). So I am iPod-less. And I just realized that I'm going to spend 10 hours on the train next weekend and I typically need to listen to music to prevent myself from going batty.

My question is, should I

(#1) buy myself an iPod Shuffle (the cute new clippy 1-gig one that's $80) to tide me over, and then use the gift card for an iPod video,

or

(#2) should I just travel old school and burn some mix CDs to listen to (assuming my old discman still works) and wait for the gift card to buy what I originally planned (an iPod nano)?

[Cassie0624]

Call your father-in-law. Ask him what to get her. He will give you a couple of ideas. Then, you get one of the things he suggested. At that point, you dont need to care what she thinks about it because it isnt anything you picked out. Either that or you can just get her something you know she will hate just for kicks. You know, something she will open and make a sour face at. Thats what I do to my grandfather.
I did that and he was no help at all. I didn't get anything for her last year so I need to this time but am just lost. I can't afford to spend money on something that will just get tossed aside or probably regifted. Thanks for readin'!

[Cassie0624]

Call your father-in-law. Ask him what to get her. He will give you a couple of ideas. Then, you get one of the things he suggested. At that point, you dont need to care what she thinks about it because it isnt anything you picked out. Either that or you can just get her something you know she will hate just for kicks. You know, something she will open and make a sour face at. Thats what I do to my grandfather.
I tried that and he was no help at all. I can't afford to get something for her that will probably get regifted later on. Anyway, thanks for helpin'!

[boychucker]

I just had to send my broken iPod in and am waiting for Circuit City to give me a refund (they are supposed to give me a gift card for what I originally paid since it's an old model no longer made). So I am iPod-less. And I just realized that I'm going to spend 10 hours on the train next weekend and I typically need to listen to music to prevent myself from going batty.

My question is, should I

(#1) buy myself an iPod Shuffle (the cute new clippy 1-gig one that's $80) to tide me over, and then use the gift card for an iPod video,

or

(#2) should I just travel old school and burn some mix CDs to listen to (assuming my old discman still works) and wait for the gift card to buy what I originally planned (an iPod nano)?Buy the shuffle. It is only 79 dollars and it is great for exercise. The bigger iPods are cool, but they have an actual disk drive in them so you don't want to run with them too often. The smaller ones have no moving parts, and they're smaller, lightweight, and they can just clip on. consider it extra motivation for getting off the couch when you get back from your trip and for the new year.

[boychucker]

I tried that and he was no help at all. I can't afford to get something for her that will probably get regifted later on. Anyway, thanks for helpin'!The fact is that you're going to spend an amount on her regardless of what she does with it, so pick something that looks nice but that you don't have to break the bank on. Hell, if she's that difficult make it something easy to regift. If she's really that ungrateful, your present doesn't have to be a winner because she's obviously not worth the effort.

[Chief]

Derek,

I hafta make something for a pot luck for class on wensday. I am makeing a WW recipie which was origionally for key lime pie. The thing is, it is very easy to make in other flavors. The ingredients are sf jello, ff cool whip, lf yogurt, and lf grahm cracker crust. I want to make 2 pies of 2 different flavors. the 4 i am going between are lemon, lime, strawberry, or raspberry. Which 2 would you pick? which 2 do you think most people will go for?

TIA

Cheryl

ps right now i am leaning towards lemon and raspberry

[hle82]

Are you a Sasha Cohen fan? My coworker (whom I got as a Secret Santa) loves him --- so for his Secret Santa gift, I was thinking of the Ali G dvd set. But I'm not sure which one to pick.. or is there a covetted Sasha dvd? ($50 is the max spending limit)

[boychucker]

Derek,

I hafta make something for a pot luck for class on wensday. I am makeing a WW recipie which was origionally for key lime pie. The thing is, it is very easy to make in other flavors. The ingredients are sf jello, ff cool whip, lf yogurt, and lf grahm cracker crust. I want to make 2 pies of 2 different flavors. the 4 i am going between are lemon, lime, strawberry, or raspberry. Which 2 would you pick? which 2 do you think most people will go for?

TIA

Cheryl

ps right now i am leaning towards lemon and raspberryI'd go lime and raspberry. Key lime is my favorite thing ever though, so I'm biased. Raspberry is a good safe bet too.

[boychucker]

Are you a Sasha Cohen fan? My coworker (whom I got as a Secret Santa) loves him --- so for his Secret Santa gift, I was thinking of the Ali G dvd set. But I'm not sure which one to pick.. or is there a covetted Sasha dvd? ($50 is the max spending limit)http://www.overstock.com/cgi-bin/d2.cgi?PAGE=PROFRAME&PROD_ID=2160213

I'd go with the Ali G complete series. Freakin' amazing.

[hle82]

http://www.overstock.com/cgi-bin/d2.cgi?PAGE=PROFRAME&PROD_ID=2160213

I'd go with the Ali G complete series. Freakin' amazing.What's the difference between:
http://www.overstock.com/cgi-bin/d2.cgi?PAGE=PROFRAME&PROD_ID=2160213

and

http://www.overstock.com/cgi-bin/d2.cgi?page=proframe&prod_id=1636332&AK=1

Is the first link just basically the first season? If yes, then I'll get the box set of both seasons.

[boychucker]

The one I sent is the complete series (season one and two) and the second one is the both of them packaged separately.

The first one is 10 dollars cheaper.

[hle82]

The one I sent is the complete series (season one and two) and the second one is the both of them packaged separately.

The first one is 10 dollars cheaper.Ahh okay that makes sense! Thanks for clarifying because otherwise I would've gotten the more expensive one, thinking he would get more episodes or something. Now I can get a little something else in addition!
Cám ón! (thank you in viet)

[photogirl]

I hope you've still got some advice left because I'm in a small situation.

About four years back there was this big blowout between my DH and his Aunt (his mom's sister). My DH's mother passed away when he was very young. Ever since the big fight things haven't been the same. We rarely speak to that side of the family. Lot's of drama. My DH and I have been living in Texas for the past 3 years so we haven't been around for Christmas. We've recently moved back, and my DH still hasn't talked to his Aunt in probably six months. They always throw these little bashes that we don't know about, and the drama usually follows. They want to know why we weren't there...when we didn't know about it in the first place.

Now to my dilema...My DH's brother told us that they drew names for the Christmas party, and they included my husband and I?? Neither of us was even planning on going in the first place. My husband refuses to go, the last time we stopped by for a visit his Aunt didn't say a word to him. I don't blame him for not wanting to go. So my question is how can I tell her that we would like to be taken out of the gift exchange? I really can't stand drama.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[kimmibear]

What should I get my bf for Christmas? I know I should figure this out on my own, but I really have no clue. He hates when others buy him clothes, buys all his video games on ebay (so I have no clue what he's buying and selling), and doesn't really have any hobbies except for working on websites, computer games, and fantasy football. Oh and Conan, lol (we are huge dorks....sorry). We set a price range of around $100 for our exchange, so I can get two or three smaller gifts or one big one or whatever. He has an mp3 player already...gym membership. I just don't really know what to get him. I could get him gag gifts - things he'd like but were stupid little things...but I don't think that's what to do. And this is only the 2nd year we've exchanged presents so I"m not very skilled at buying men gifts (my ex was a Jehovah's Witness - so never had to worry about it). AND I think I figured out what he's getting me for Christmas (I believe it's a new mp3 player. He mentioned something yesterday that makes me think that's it). So do you have any ideas on what to get a 25 year old guy for Christmas?

[Papillon]

Kimmi, I don't want to steal Derek's thread, but I am in a similar situation . . . my DH is super hard to shop for. I got a novel idea yesterday and bought him a subscription to Netflix . . . it is prepaid and he can start renting his DVDs by mail anytime he wants. I've heard great things about it.

I plan on making a "movie basket" with the gift certificate, his favorite movie snacks, popcorn and soda. Just a thought. :)

[boychucker]

I hope you've still got some advice left because I'm in a small situation.

About four years back there was this big blowout between my DH and his Aunt (his mom's sister). My DH's mother passed away when he was very young. Ever since the big fight things haven't been the same. We rarely speak to that side of the family. Lot's of drama. My DH and I have been living in Texas for the past 3 years so we haven't been around for Christmas. We've recently moved back, and my DH still hasn't talked to his Aunt in probably six months. They always throw these little bashes that we don't know about, and the drama usually follows. They want to know why we weren't there...when we didn't know about it in the first place.

Now to my dilema...My DH's brother told us that they drew names for the Christmas party, and they included my husband and I?? Neither of us was even planning on going in the first place. My husband refuses to go, the last time we stopped by for a visit his Aunt didn't say a word to him. I don't blame him for not wanting to go. So my question is how can I tell her that we would like to be taken out of the gift exchange? I really can't stand drama.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.MAybe them including you is a way of them saying they want to bring you back into the fold. I know pride can sting, but maybe you should consider sucking it up and just going. I know, that's not what you want to hear, but that's what I'd do.

[boychucker]

What should I get my bf for Christmas? I know I should figure this out on my own, but I really have no clue. He hates when others buy him clothes, buys all his video games on ebay (so I have no clue what he's buying and selling), and doesn't really have any hobbies except for working on websites, computer games, and fantasy football. Oh and Conan, lol (we are huge dorks....sorry). We set a price range of around $100 for our exchange, so I can get two or three smaller gifts or one big one or whatever. He has an mp3 player already...gym membership. I just don't really know what to get him. I could get him gag gifts - things he'd like but were stupid little things...but I don't think that's what to do. And this is only the 2nd year we've exchanged presents so I"m not very skilled at buying men gifts (my ex was a Jehovah's Witness - so never had to worry about it). AND I think I figured out what he's getting me for Christmas (I believe it's a new mp3 player. He mentioned something yesterday that makes me think that's it). So do you have any ideas on what to get a 25 year old guy for Christmas?I actually like Papillon's idea. I also want the MASH box set. But that's me.

[photogirl]

MAybe them including you is a way of them saying they want to bring you back into the fold. I know pride can sting, but maybe you should consider sucking it up and just going. I know, that's not what you want to hear, but that's what I'd do.
I figured you would say that. My DH feels very strongly about not going. She's done this before, and it's always the same outcome. I really think that he's just given up. I'm just frustrated because I'm in the middle with mixed feelings. I'm not going to force him to go. I just don't think it's right that they even put our names in the drawing without even speaking to us. It's been six months. A phone call would've been nice.

[boychucker]

I figured you would say that. My DH feels very strongly about not going. She's done this before, and it's always the same outcome. I really think that he's just given up. I'm just frustrated because I'm in the middle with mixed feelings. I'm not going to force him to go. I just don't think it's right that they even put our names in the drawing without even speaking to us. It's been six months. A phone call would've been nice.Maybe he needs to open up some sort of communication about the whole thing. I'm in a situation that is similar where I really don't care to see my extended family for Christmas and it has been almost 4 years, but I am going this year. Sometimes grudges are just best left behind. If your husband can just say F it and go, it makes him the better person.

[kimmibear]

Kimmi, I don't want to steal Derek's thread, but I am in a similar situation . . . my DH is super hard to shop for. I got a novel idea yesterday and bought him a subscription to Netflix . . . it is prepaid and he can start renting his DVDs by mail anytime he wants. I've heard great things about it.

I plan on making a "movie basket" with the gift certificate, his favorite movie snacks, popcorn and soda. Just a thought. :)
Sounds great - except he already has a Netflix subscription :( It is a great service though. He's had it for over a year. And he literally has over 200 DVDs.

[boychucker]

Well I can't help it if your boyfriend is boring. :)

[kimmibear]

Well I can't help it if your boyfriend is boring. :)
Yeah I know. That and the fact that he buys the stuff he wants anyway. Sigh, no other suggestions...seriously? I've asked him and he says he doesn't know. I'm gonna give him coal

[mariemorgan]

Sounds great - except he already has a Netflix subscription :( It is a great service though. He's had it for over a year. And he literally has over 200 DVDs.
:Non Derek Response:

What about a nice DVD stand then since he has so many dvds?

[boychucker]

Yeah I know. That and the fact that he buys the stuff he wants anyway. Sigh, no other suggestions...seriously? I've asked him and he says he doesn't know. I'm gonna give him coalMaybe you should just get him something he doesn't even know he wants! You know his hobbies and i am sure you know what he has. Troll around some nerd websites (because he is obviously a nerd! :p) and see what you can find. There are plenty of ideas out there.

And next year, enact a one month ban on him buying stuff for himself.

[kimmibear]

Maybe you should just get him something he doesn't even know he wants! You know his hobbies and i am sure you know what he has. Troll around some nerd websites (because he is obviously a nerd! :p) and see what you can find. There are plenty of ideas out there.

And next year, enact a one month ban on him buying stuff for himself.
Yeah that's what i'm trying to do. And he gave ME a ban...how rude:kiss:

[boychucker]

Yeah that's what i'm trying to do. And he gave ME a ban...how rude:kiss:Well, good for him.

And it really is hard telling people what to buy when you don't know the person. I mean I am about the easiest person on the planet to shop for, so these people who are difficuly confound me.

[queenie521]

Kimmi,

How about tickets to see a favorite band in concert or to a play he has wanted to see.

Also, I once dated a tech guy and I found a website that made all kinds of stuff out of circuit boards and stuff. It was pretty cool and he loved what I got him. This site has some: http://www.cybercal.com/ComputerGifts.html

[kimmibear]

Well, good for him.

And it really is hard telling people what to buy when you don't know the person. I mean I am about the easiest person on the planet to shop for, so these people who are difficuly confound me.
Yeah I know. I was just hoping for some spark of an idea. I also am easy to shop for. I struggle with him every holiday until he takes mercy on me and just gives me an idea.

[boychucker]

Weird.

I can't imagine not having a million ideas for my SO at the time, whoever they might be.

[kimmibear]

Weird.

I can't imagine not having a million ideas for my SO at the time, whoever they might be.
Yeah I'm not good at gifts in general. My family, friends, ect. I make people give me lists. Mothers day, father's day, birthdays, christmas, whatever it may be - I'm always asking my mom for my dad or vice versa or either parent for my sisters or my boyfriend what he wants. I am good at planning suprises though. I have suprised him with like special weekends or like I'll do special things for him and he always likes them. But that is the New Year's plan. The special plans and little suprises. I need an actual material gift for Christmas. But when it comes to gifts, I suck at them even though I love givin them! Sorry secret BCB buddy!

[boychucker]

Then take him on a special weekend for Christmas!

[kimmibear]

Then take him on a special weekend for Christmas!
Well actual Christmas we are both going back home to be with our families (we're from the same hometown). But we are spending New Years together and so I had some special things planned. Would it be weird to give him say something smaller (that I can actually figure out) for actual Christmas and then spend the rest of the money on extras for New Years weekend? Would a guy feel kind of cheated if you guys agreed on a set amount and your actual gift was under it (like maybe half?) ...but it was made up to you later?

I think that could work though. I am so much better at DOING things for people then BUYING things for people!

[boychucker]

Well actual Christmas we are both going back home to be with our families (we're from the same hometown). But we are spending New Years together and so I had some special things planned. Would it be weird to give him say something smaller (that I can actually figure out) for actual Christmas and then spend the rest of the money on extras for New Years weekend? Would a guy feel kind of cheated if you guys agreed on a set amount and your actual gift was under it (like maybe half?) ...but it was made up to you later?

I think that could work though. I am so much better at DOING things for people then BUYING things for people!He might feel cheated UNLESS you pre-plan specific events and things for him. Like, "hey, we're going on a hot air balloon ride!" or something. You know, write it in a card or wrap something that represents what the extras will be.

[kimmibear]

He might feel cheated UNLESS you pre-plan specific events and things for him. Like, "hey, we're going on a hot air balloon ride!" or something. You know, write it in a card or wrap something that represents what the extras will be.
oohhh i like that! like if i did say a carriage ride, hot air balloon ride, and fancy dinner at his fav restaurant, i could wrap up a little horse, a balloon, and a little plate. oh yay this could work. see you ARE helpful ;)

[boychucker]

oohhh i like that! like if i did say a carriage ride, hot air balloon ride, and fancy dinner at his fav restaurant, i could wrap up a little horse, a balloon, and a little plate. oh yay this could work. see you ARE helpful ;)People wouldn't keep asking me this crap if I was useless.

[kimmibear]

People wouldn't keep asking me this crap if I was useless.
i know i know. your thread is awesome. thanks a zillion :)

[shrinky]

like if i did say a carriage ride, hot air balloon ride, and fancy dinner at his fav restaurant, i could wrap up a little horse, a balloon, and a little plate. That is such a cute idea!

That's similar to what Derek suggested for me to do for my husband, though I didn't think about wrapping up something cute & fun. I was thinking of taking him (or maybe sending him with a guy friend who will be more into it than me) to F1 racing in Boston...maybe I can wrap up a little race car. :)

[Christyn238]

Kimmi, You could also do like a little scavenger hunt that started on XMas and went to New Years. With little gifts at each day or event...or special person like his family members and friends. I did this once for an anniversary. Little clues with a rose were left everywhere and with everyone.

[kimmibear]

Kimmi, You could also do like a little scavenger hunt that started on XMas and went to New Years. With little gifts at each day or event...or special person like his family members and friends. I did this once for an anniversary. Little clues with a rose were left everywhere and with everyone.oh that's a cute idea! unfortunately it won't work for me right now since our home town is far (like 9 hour drive) from where we live and we live far away from each other now. but i will keep that in the pocket for when we live closer :)

[boychucker]

Just a note for all the girls:

Men also appreciate strippers. Just a thought.

[hathor]

dear derek,

this is a 2 part qn:

1) what should i get engraved on my video iPod? yes i know it is highly ... subjective but any ideas at all? all my fav douglas adams quotes are too long.

2) i read in a few places that getting your iPod engraved means they will not replace it when you have problems even under warranty. Somehow i doubt this is true but i figured you would know for sure.

best regards,
hathor.

[myarrowsaim]

Just a note for all the girls:

Men also appreciate strippers. Just a thought.
I prefer hookers.

[boychucker]

I prefer hookers.Did you already open your present?! Jerk.

[boychucker]

dear derek,

this is a 2 part qn:

1) what should i get engraved on my video iPod? yes i know it is highly ... subjective but any ideas at all? all my fav douglas adams quotes are too long.

2) i read in a few places that getting your iPod engraved means they will not replace it when you have problems even under warranty. Somehow i doubt this is true but i figured you would know for sure.

best regards,
hathor.hmmm. 21 characters per line. Funny that you like Douglas Adams so much and that adds up to 42. Nice short Adams quote, "You live and learn. At any rate, you live."

A Hal 2000 quote would be good and equally nerdy. I believe he was much more concise.

Apple will replace any iPod that has been engraved while still under warranty. There's just no returns or refunds on engraved iPods. Maybe they won't return it from a 3rd party engraving, I don't know.

[kharizzmatik]

In need of more advice.... if you have a bad dream about someone, do you tell them? :confused:

[boychucker]

In need of more advice.... if you have a bad dream about someone, do you tell them? :confused:Depends on the relation and the nature of the dream. Dreams are not reality, so if you take it too seriously, people can be offended.

[inbloom]

i just noticed the case of microwave popcorn in the breakroom has an expiration date of december 2006-when should i toss it?

and why does microwave popcorn have an expiration date?

[Chief]

and why does microwave popcorn have an expiration date? Why does bottled water have an experiation date?

Cheryl

[boychucker]

i just noticed the case of microwave popcorn in the breakroom has an expiration date of december 2006-when should i toss it?

and why does microwave popcorn have an expiration date?I'd say you're safe until about May 2007.

Most food products regardless of their actual ability to spoil are required by law to have an expiration date. Additionally, manufacturers like them because once a product has expired you throw it away and buy more.

In the case of microwave popcorn though, the kernels can a) rot, which is disgusting although very unlikely, or b) just get old/stale. Less will pop and it won't taste as good. The company doesn't want you eating gross popcorn because then next time you'll buy someone else's gross popcorn.

[boychucker]

Why does bottled water have an experiation date?

CherylSee law explanation in popcorn response.

[Chief]

Sounds great - except he already has a Netflix subscription :( It is a great service though. He's had it for over a year. And he literally has over 200 DVDs. Derek already gave you a much better idea, but... My brother works in Hollywood. Not Burbank, not Beverly Hills, but actual Hollywood. You'd think he does TV shoes and commercials all day, he wouldn't want DVDs but he has over 200 for sure and always wants more. He gets best buy/amazon gift certificates 2X a year from my mom (hanukah and birthday) and I think he'd be mad if she ever got him something else. Seems boring to you, but maybe not to BF.

Cheryl

[inbloom]

something else...i sit by the window in my office-there is a man from a few suites down who at least once a day comes outside and talk on his cellphone, real intense business discussions-he will pace the walkway as he does this. he will stop and stand by my window and rant and rave, the window is tinted (im assuming he sees his reflection) so i dont think he realizes im inches from him. we keep our front door open-so to make my short story longer i can hear him loud and clear-and i let it bug the living crap out of me somedays. should i say something to him? or am i being petty and letting something lame eat me up? im staring at his mug right now-he's lost in his own heated debate.

[Chief]

Most food products regardless of their actual ability to spoil are required by law to have an expiration date. That is the same with perscription meds. Each med has a completely different experiation date but they all expire a year from when you got them. Why? It's easier for consumers to remember. I have some meds that are for only when needed. One months worth could last as long as a year and a half. I still take it.

[boychucker]

something else...i sit by the window in my office-there is a man from a few suites down who at least once a day comes outside and talk on his cellphone, real intense business discussions-he will pace the walkway as he does this. he will stop and stand by my window and rant and rave, the window is tinted (im assuming he sees his reflection) so i dont think he realizes im inches from him. we keep our front door open-so to make my short story longer i can hear him loud and clear-and i let it bug the living crap out of me somedays. should i say something to him? or am i being petty and letting something lame eat me up? im staring at his mug right now-he's lost in his own heated debate.When in doubt, daydream about me.

[boychucker]

That is the same with perscription meds. Each med has a completely different experiation date but they all expire a year from when you got them. Why? It's easier for consumers to remember. I have some meds that are for only when needed. One months worth could last as long as a year and a half. I still take it.Please send old Vicodin to my previously posted address. Thanks.

[inbloom]

always...as often as live is cranked on the itunes

seriously-am i being a jerk?

[boychucker]

always...as often as live is cranked on the itunes

seriously-am i being a jerk?I think you care too much about how you're perceived. If it really annoys you I suggest doing this once...

The guy will be out there talking on his phone. Take the palm of your hand and firmly smack the glass so it makes a loud enough noise to make him jump.

Proceed to run and hide.

That is without a doubt what I would do.

[inbloom]

I think you care too much about how you're perceived. If it really annoys you I suggest doing this once...

The guy will be out there talking on his phone. Take the palm of your hand and firmly smack the glass so it makes a loud enough noise to make him jump.

Proceed to run and hide.

That is without a doubt what I would do.




yeah because im petrified of being perceived as a crabby old lady.
next time he paces by i'll try and grow a pair and smack the glass

[boychucker]

yeah because im petrified of being perceived as a crabby old lady.
next time he paces by i'll try and grow a pair and smack the glassYeah, but you're not, so get over it or I'll punch you

[renchop]

Okay Derek... I have another one for you.

My husband is lazy and gives me attitude when I ask him to do one simple thing to help out. We both work full time and he makes about twice the income that I do... in case that matters. I do ALL the chores and household keep up though. I feed all the pets, do all the cleaning, shopping and most of the cooking. It's much more important to me and gives me the most satisfaction to have clean house. What can I do to get him to help out more and more importantly, not to give me attitude or complain when I ask him to do one easy thing? He spends most of his time watching tv, sleeping or eating when he is not at work. I never get to watch TV and get very little time for myself. All my spare time is spent doing chores.

[boychucker]

Okay Derek... I have another one for you.

My husband is lazy and gives me attitude when I ask him to do one simple thing to help out. We both work full time and he makes about twice the income that I do... in case that matters. I do ALL the chores and household keep up though. I feed all the pets, do all the cleaning, shopping and most of the cooking. It's much more important to me and gives me the most satisfaction to have clean house. What can I do to get him to help out more and more importantly, not to give me attitude or complain when I ask him to do one easy thing? He spends most of his time watching tv, sleeping or eating when he is not at work. I never get to watch TV and get very little time for myself. All my spare time is spent doing chores.You need to ask him to contribute more. Salary is not an indicator of who gets to do the work around the house. That kind of crap bugs me soooooooooo much. relationships are supposed to be an equal partnership. And honestly, he might make twice as mucch, but does he really work THAT much harder? You need to let him know that you need help around the house. If he's just watching TV, he's got time to do other stuff.

[ThinLadySings]

Hi Derek,

Here's mine.

Is it normal for men not to change their socks every day?

Victoria

[boychucker]

Hi Derek,

Here's mine.

Is it normal for men not to change their socks every day?

VictoriaEWWWW!!!! Are you serious?! BLECH!! I have 45 pairs of socks in the event that I don't do laundry for a really long time. There's fungus and bacteria on your feet and that is probably the most unsanitary thing I can think of. No, it isn't at all because my mind is pretty jacked up, but still.

AHHH! I even throw socks away if they get any sort of odd dirt on them. Socks are meant to be worn once, sweat all over, and put in the laundry. After that, they're useless until the next wash.

For being a fat slob, I am fairly metrosexual though, so that might have something to do with my opinion on this matter. I'm also pretty into tweezing my eyebrows so they don't form a union and I also take good care of my nails and stuff like that. I buy my shaving cream and I even bought face cream at Nordstroms.

AHHH! I'm so grossed out still. :(

[Chief]

I have been bad w/the gym. Next semester I have Sexuality in a Diverse Society from 9:30-10:45 TR in the same building as the gym. Then I have Theroies of Family Functioning from 12:30-1:45. I don't mind eating lunch @ 2... I've been doing that for almost a year. So... I have no excuse not to work out. It gives me 1hr 20minish. Good workout. I'm excited. I don't even mind wearing gym clothes to sex class, used to wear them to calculus fresh year when I had weight training right after. The thing is, then I would go home and shower. In this sanerio, I would be sitting through theroies all stinky. Would you still work out? I'm leaning very strong towards yes, but I want to still have friends come May.

Cheryl

[Jabberwocky]

No locker rooms? I just take showers in the locker room. If not then still work out, and just put on some body spray type stuff. Also try your best to sit next to people that look stinky, if you are stinky.

[S@R@H]

[QUOTE=. Also try your best to sit next to people that look stinky, if you are stinky.[/QUOTE]

LMAO

[Chief]

No locker rooms? I just take showers in the locker room. If not then still work out, and just put on some body spray type stuff. Also try your best to sit next to people that look stinky, if you are stinky. I'm not sure, but shower+getting dressed=30-45mins that means I'd only have 35-50 mins to work out. Now worth it. Plus, I'd hafta lug around shampoo, change of clothes, etc all day in addition to books.

Cheryl

[Jabberwocky]

When I say shower I mean rinse the stink off of you =P Also if you are wearing gym clothes it should not take too long to get dressed.

[Chief]

When I say shower I mean rinse the stink off of you =P Also if you are wearing gym clothes it should not take too long to get dressed. I'm slow...

[Jabberwocky]

I guess it is different for girls. I try to get out of the locker room as quickly as possible, too many naked dudes and weird old guys in there.

[Lucki_Nicki]

I guess it is different for girls. I try to get out of the locker room as quickly as possible, too many naked dudes and weird old guys in there.
LOL yeah, there are a lot of weird old guys in our locker room too....ha ha! :bcb_grin

[Jabberwocky]

But you have weird old ladies =P

[Lucki_Nicki]

But you have weird old ladies =P
aaaa makes me look good

[Stefnee]

You need to ask him to contribute more. Salary is not an indicator of who gets to do the work around the house. That kind of crap bugs me soooooooooo much. relationships are supposed to be an equal partnership. And honestly, he might make twice as mucch, but does he really work THAT much harder? You need to let him know that you need help around the house. If he's just watching TV, he's got time to do other stuff.
Derek...you are the bomb!!!!!!!!!!!:bcb_bigsm

[Stefnee]

Ok Derek Here's mine:

My DH doesnt like to go to the DR. In the 6 years we have been together he has only been once and that was a ER visit. He clearly needs to go and everytime I make a appt, he finds a way to back out. I told him I will go with him and he doesnt want that either. He has a appt Tues and Im scared he will find a way out again. Any advice?

[boychucker]

Ok Derek Here's mine:

My DH doesnt like to go to the DR. In the 6 years we have been together he has only been once and that was a ER visit. He clearly needs to go and everytime I make a appt, he finds a way to back out. I told him I will go with him and he doesnt want that either. He has a appt Tues and Im scared he will find a way out again. Any advice?
I hate the doctor too, but I still go every couple of years. the last time I went my doctor said, "You're too fat" and now I'm on WW. So yeah, it can be very important to go.

Make sure he can't find a way out of it. Plan accordingly and make sure he goes. Drive him if you have to. I dunno, I hate forcing people to do anything, but he's your husband and so I think you can nagg more without it making too much difference. :)

[boychucker]

I have been bad w/the gym. Next semester I have Sexuality in a Diverse Society from 9:30-10:45 TR in the same building as the gym. Then I have Theroies of Family Functioning from 12:30-1:45. I don't mind eating lunch @ 2... I've been doing that for almost a year. So... I have no excuse not to work out. It gives me 1hr 20minish. Good workout. I'm excited. I don't even mind wearing gym clothes to sex class, used to wear them to calculus fresh year when I had weight training right after. The thing is, then I would go home and shower. In this sanerio, I would be sitting through theroies all stinky. Would you still work out? I'm leaning very strong towards yes, but I want to still have friends come May.

CherylAlmost missed this one! There's a shower, and then there's cleaning yourself up enough after you workout to be acceptable to the public. I'm thinking the latter will probably be enough for you. go ahead andd workout for 45 minutes, clean up for 15, and go to class. It'll be fine. Just remember to get all the sweat off and wear deoderant (NOT PERFUME or anything!)

[Chief]

NOT PERFUME or anything! Perfume mixed w/sweat just makes you smell even funkier.

[boychucker]

Perfume mixed w/sweat just makes you smell even funkier.Most people don't realize this. I hate perfume so much.

[Purduenancy]

Most people don't realize this. I hate perfume so much.
Some perfumes and colognes give me migraines. I've had to ask people in classes I've taken to quit wearing it. How do you nicely tell a guy that his smell is making you sick and not offending him?!

[boychucker]

Some perfumes and colognes give me migraines. I've had to ask people in classes I've taken to quit wearing it. How do you nicely tell a guy that his smell is making you sick and not offending him?!Unfortunately, I really like offending people, so I don't have a clue.

[shrinky]

Is not having any hot water grounds for cancelling a planned party? I am supposed to have quite a few people over on Saturday night, but our #%$^$#ing hot water hasn't worked since Tuesday night (we've seriously had to go to a friend's to shower, because the only water coming out is ice cold). Because of this I can't do dishes or laundry and I just feel gross.

But I tend to be kind of neurotic, so maybe I am overthinking the whole thing. I dunno. You be the judge.

As a bonus question, do you think I should yell at my landlord some more?

[Chief]

Some perfumes and colognes give me migraines. I've had to ask people in classes I've taken to quit wearing it. How do you nicely tell a guy that his smell is making you sick and not offending him?!
Give him a copy of the article I just read like a half hr ago. www.raggededgemagazine.com/0303/0303ft4.html I know that your situation is't nearly as severe, but maybe the shockness factor will get to him.

Cheryl

[Jabberwocky]

Just when I went to Target there was so much old lady perfume in the air it stung my nostrils. I think cologne and perfume is awesome when you know how to use it.

[JessD]

I, myself, am a firm believer in the 2-squirts-max rule. And 2 is only for body sprays or really lightly scented things... More than one or two and you are going to offend someone, whether they tell you or not.

I actually wear perfume more at home than anywhere else because of sensitivity issues. My boyfriend loves what I wear, and he's the one I would rather have thinking that I smell good anyway.

[ezrasgurl]

Derek,

How should someone (say, me) get back her motivation to workout ?
pia :)

[boychucker]

Is not having any hot water grounds for cancelling a planned party? I am supposed to have quite a few people over on Saturday night, but our #%$^$#ing hot water hasn't worked since Tuesday night (we've seriously had to go to a friend's to shower, because the only water coming out is ice cold). Because of this I can't do dishes or laundry and I just feel gross.

But I tend to be kind of neurotic, so maybe I am overthinking the whole thing. I dunno. You be the judge.

As a bonus question, do you think I should yell at my landlord some more?I understand not being able to do laundry, but why can't you just heat up some water on teh stove and mix it wihth a sink full of water for dishes? IT might be a pain, but it'd be like roughing it.

I think you should still have the party. And yes, call you landlord every single day. Hot water is important.

[boychucker]

Derek,

How should someone (say, me) get back her motivation to workout ?
pia :)You're only 15 pounds from your goal. Just think about how close that is, and how much quicker that would go if you exercised.

[ezrasgurl]

You're only 15 pounds from your goal. Just think about how close that is, and how much quicker that would go if you exercised.
Simple...but possibly very effective! I never really thought of it that way.....

pia :)

[ThinLadySings]

Lol. Why thank you for that. I am a full believer in metrosexual men!



EWWWW!!!! Are you serious?! BLECH!! I have 45 pairs of socks in the event that I don't do laundry for a really long time. There's fungus and bacteria on your feet and that is probably the most unsanitary thing I can think of. No, it isn't at all because my mind is pretty jacked up, but still.

AHHH! I even throw socks away if they get any sort of odd dirt on them. Socks are meant to be worn once, sweat all over, and put in the laundry. After that, they're useless until the next wash.

For being a fat slob, I am fairly metrosexual though, so that might have something to do with my opinion on this matter. I'm also pretty into tweezing my eyebrows so they don't form a union and I also take good care of my nails and stuff like that. I buy my shaving cream and I even bought face cream at Nordstroms.

AHHH! I'm so grossed out still. :(