Sometimes old habits are hard to break

[tiffany76115]

I'm sliding into some old habits and it's really hurting me. I know I am gaining, and it's not what I need to be doing! I'm getting back into the self hatred and negative talk. I don't really know why. I should be happy with myself, but I'm not.

Since I've been working for WW at my regular WI meeting, I haven't been going to meetings. I've been to 2 in the past 6 weeks. I know this is not helping me. I need the accountability of having to get my butt on the scale 'officially' every week. Now that I know I have gained a little bit, it's really doing a mental job on me. I wrote in my journal that I have got to get back into the basics! I want to get down to the personal goal I st for myself. It's not going to get there if I don't do something NOW!

So does anyone have any suggestions on how to eliminate negative self talk and hatred? 'Cause I could use it!

[BarbA]

http://www.snac.ucla.edu/pages/Resources/Handouts/HOSelfTalk.pdf#search='negative%20self%20talk%20we ight%20loss'
This is a great pdf file re: negative self talk and how to change perspectives

http://www.fitwoman.com/fitbriefings/negselftalk.shtml This is great re: how to Achieve Weight Loss Success By Changing Negative Self Talk.

I think, if we have emotional reasons for our weight gain in the first place, and we don't deal with that during our weight loss journey, they will come back to haunt us.

You could try some searches on sabotage here and find some good info too, i bet.

I have an inner critic that is EXTREMELY negative, and is shown by my self-deprecating sense of humor ... i have to combat her daily. One way i've found of doing that, is by reviewing a list of my successes, both scale success and NSVs, (i.e., i have copied threads from here re: how i've felt when my PCP decreased my BP meds, joy at wearing smaller size clothes, wonderment when i realized that i wasn't winded climinb up 3 flights of stairs, etc.) Those real and tangible things let me see that even tho my critic may be screaming out "You've lost 80 pounds and LOOK how fat you still are!" that i've done so many positive things for myself.

Can't you go to more WW meetings as a WW member, as opposed to someone who is working for WW, if that seemed to help you?

[plcm111195]

Tiffany, I completely relate to what you're going through. I still struggle with the negative self talk. And it's been happening more often lately. I have to remind myself of how far I've come and that I deserve what I've acheived and I deserve to be happy. Look at your pictures, girl! You've done a great job. I have to just keep starting over again and again, but I'm willing to do that if it keeps me from having to start from the beginning again. I will not go back to my old lifestyle.

Thanks for posting those links, Barb. Jan posted a great thread about positive self talk on the 50s board. http://www.healthdiscovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=112857

Feel free to PM me anytime. You're taking steps in the right direction coming here and asking for help before it gets out of hand. :bcbsalute

[tiffany76115]

Thank for the links Barb and Joanne! I appreciate all your comments and sharing of yourselves as well. It's nice to know I am not the only one who beats myself up.

[SierraWind]

Tiffany, I beat myself up too...however that voice has gotten weaker and weaker over time. I have no doubt that it might pop back up again though.

One thing that has helped me is to "play the momma" in this situation and imagine that that inner voice was one of my children saying such horrible things about another of my children. What would I say? How would I respond? I certainly wouldn't tolerate it, nor would I but into it!

I am so proud of you for coming for help immediately!! Thta isn't always easy,but it stops little issues from taking a bigger and bigger toll!!

[s_suther]

We just talked about this in my WW meeting yesterday....How you beat your self up, how you sabotage yourself. Why do we do that??? I know exactly what you guys mean. One thing my leader said is we have to learn to be selfish - to some degree - regarding our health and weight loss. We have to reprogram ourselves to look out for our own well-being. For some of us our weight gain causes serious health risks and acutally becomes a life or death situation. For anyone with a weight problem, it can take years off your life. She said we all know that, but we have got to own it. I absolutely agree, but am still trying to figure out how to get there. I think the first step is to buy out the time to attend our WW meetings, to plan OP days, and to exercise. Time just to meet our very own needs. As I said, now we just have to figure out how to get comfortable with that. Does that make sense??

[s_suther]

I forgot to add my suggestion...:o

When those feelings start creeping up on me, I find someone to "help". I seek someone who can use extra support or comfort. I try to be there for them and help them with their issue. That, in turn, shows me that my issues aren't as bad. It makes me feel better about my situation and helps someone else in the process. Know what I mean???

[beth323]

I think everyone goes through those periods. I try to look around me to see what is depressing me. Usually it is something else that I try to patch it up with feeding my face. Do something special for yourself. Call a friend go out to lunch, spend some time doing something you really like. Mine is getting outside. Even with our Michigan winters I will sit outside in a chair on a sunny day to lift my spirits. Feed your body healthy foods it will thank you. You will feel better. focus on the healthy 8's Look at some of your before pictures you have done such a wonderful job so far. Be proud of yourself. Negative talk only sets you up for defeat. You can make it through this :strong: "The brighest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches."

[merriweather]

I just took a peak at your website and your success is amazing and inspiring. I hope you find the strength to pull yourself out of the negative self talk and into a healthier pattern. Good luck, take a look at your before and after pictures - not doing anything about the pattern you are in could take you closer and closer to your before rather than you after.

[LindaWing]

Tiffany- thanks for sharing your great journey with us on your page! You are doing so fantastic and are sooooo close to realizing your goals and dreams! Don't let those little demons on your shoulder destroy what you have worked so hard for!! We have ALL had those feelings from time to time! I tell them to get lost and mine are like Sierra's these days, a lot quieter! Don't you dare beat yourself up any more!! You are MY inspiration!! Linda

[tiffany76115]

Thanks everyone for you kind words and encouragement. I'm working on bringing myself out of this funk. Take Care!

[kodysgramma]

Tiffany,

You have gotten some great advice here. The biggest thing I think we ALL need to remember is that this is about our health, it is NON NEGOTIABLE!!! If that means that you NEED to take time for you, then thats what it means. A very wise and wonderful lady on the fighters thread is always reminding us to take time for ourselves. I think that is important. I, personally, have found that when I DO take me time, each and every day, I feel sooooo much better about myself and can really stay more focused on what my goals are for the day.