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View Full Version : Need you guys' help to encourage DH



Jennifer M
12-06-2005, 06:41 AM
Hi guys,

My DH of many years has finally accepted that he needs to lose weight (and it's a LOT). I want to be supportive and encouraging without being a nag. I've been doing WW for so long that it's natural for me to plan my meals, do portion control, exercise, journal, and all the rest. But whenever I suggest those things, he brushes me off - maybe he perceives me as judgmental?

Of course, I think he needs WW, but he's not a "joiner," if you know what I mean, so he's not ready/willing to join WW. (I think it may be harder for men, in general, to join a support group, but it's especially hard for him, being a rugged do-it-yourself New Englander. Asking for help - or, God forbid - going to a meeting with a chatty group of women - is probably his idea of hell. (He jokes about it being the opposite - him alone in a group of women - but I know what he means!) He also tells me constantly how great I look (WONDERFUL for our marriage), but I think he may be a little intimidated by my success...so maybe I'm not the one he can hear all this from.

He HAS asked me to help him with an exercise routine, so that's off to a good start. But, if you can think of any other ways to help, I'd sure appreciate hearing from you. I know that HE has to be ready to change, and I think he is. But I don't think he understands the magnitude of what it means to make "lifestyle" changes....(Then again, did any of us here truly get that until we started down this road?)

PS I've considered calling his doctor on the sly and asking him to have a heart-to heart. He (the doctor) is a great guy and a good doctor, but seems to have settled for adjusting my honey's meds. I'm wondering if he gives him "the Speech," if that will help.... (DH is NOT diabetic - yet. But he's got all the risk factors, including high blood pressure and a Mom who died of Type II complications and who was very obese)

Thanks in advance for letting me barge in here. I'm just very worried about my soulmate's health...


- Jennifer

CW
12-06-2005, 06:55 AM
This is why we don't ask for directions. If we don't actually ask for help then we are not lost:D

Have him stop in here for a conversation with guys who know and respect what he is dealing with. we will give him the straight and skinny:)
CW

judyjp60
12-06-2005, 07:05 AM
I think he may have stage frite(sp?). He doesn't want to join meeting at the moment but that could change.
I would have him go to the "Men on WW board and just introduce himself. He will see that he's not along and he's not the first He-Man to need support and motivation.

Does he eat the same things that your eating? If not then change that. He has claimed that he needs to get the weight off. Take the first step and prepare him the same meals.

He wants to start working out. Great!! set an hour aside in the evening and do it together. My DH and I go to the basement for an hour and do a WATP 4 mile ever night TOGETHER!!! Its great. There not macho workouts but no one will see him but you. And you do get a great workout. Or maybe he would like to join a gym for men.
But I really think getting him here to talk to other men would be a great first step in changing his thinking about it. Theres no face to face chatting.

Hoosier Daddy
12-06-2005, 08:05 AM
Jen - I just sent you a looooooong PM.

Jennifer M
12-07-2005, 06:31 AM
Thanks for all your responses. I'm going to try some of your suggestions and see what happens :-)

- Jennifer