cybergranny
BCB Major General
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Middleburg, FL Posts: 5,494


There's being insensitive and then there is a PLAN
Well, a few people didn't actually know what food p*rn was and thought maybe it was a forum here? No, it is unwanted and unwelcome. In essence, food p*rn is more a mind set than anything. Let me give an example and anyone who can do it better is welcome to post.

A person who has joined BCB is assumed to have read the BCB philosophy and several other FAQ's that are pertinent to the history of this site. Unfortunately, there are many out there who don't and there is only one way of knowing if someone read it or not, that is by the manner in which they post. For example, questions about HONK, HONK, HONK, are easily answered in the FAQ's at this link: http://www.healthdiscovery.net/forums/faq.php?faq=new_faq_item#faq_honk By the same token, the BCB Philosophy statement is short and to the point and doesn't take much time to read. If you haven't done so, go here:

http://www.healthdiscovery.net/foru...#faq_philosophy If you are truly looking for inspiration, read the Training manual which has the best of the best of posts here at BCB since it's inception. We all have favorites, my first inspiration was by Murricat, not only her personal story but her post in the training manual "I'M FAT, THAT'S WHY!"

http://www.healthdiscovery.net/foru...ead.php?t=41890 and A*T*T*I*T*U*D*E* by Laurdee http://www.healthdiscovery.net/foru...ead.php?t=41880 Now that I have given you plenty to read, let me just say that it wouldn't hur any of us to read the entire Training Manual and those of us that have, read it again whenever you feel the need for some help! It is the most inspirational forum here.
USE WHAT IS AVAILABLE RIGHT HERE! I just don't understand why it is so hard for some people to make use of the tools that are right in front of them.

Now, back to the food p*rn issue. When I am strong and focused and TOTALLY ON PLAN these posts are merely an irritation but if for whatever reason I am a bit depressed, or stressed or want to feel sorry for me, these post are devastating. When someone purposely writes about the pound of bacon they ate or the three pounds of chocolate or the week in Timbuctoo slurping up fatty food after fatty food, it is dangerous to each and every member that they profess to care about! THIS POST IS FOR YOU!!!! THE INSENSITIVE LOUT THAT DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH DAMAGE YOUR POST CAN DO TO SOMEONE WHO IS ALREADY STRUGGLING!!!!!

The proper thing to do is to post BEFORE you go off plan. To come here for the support that you need, to think up a plan of action to deal with your problem and ask for help and support in achieving it. If that doesn't happen, it still doesn't give you the right to joke about the ton of food that you ate in detail. Mention it by all means, that you went off program. But descriptions of the food are not necessary and are harmful to people who are struggling as much as you are. Ask for help in making a plan that will work for you, admit that you messed up but get back on board, ask for help and take it from there.

I am sick to death of seeing buddy after buddy who is working so hard falling victim to these posts because they are in a weak moment. You are not helping yourself and you are not helping your buddies. This is a SUPPORT GROUP not a whine forum or a pity party. No one here is going to feel sorry for you if they want to help you or themselves.

Those of us who are so incensed by these posts need to take a hard look at the way in which we reply to them. My way since I came back has been to mostly ignore them because of the ugly pm's and emails you get from people for standing up for the BCB philosophy and all that entails. That is just as bad as a reply that says 'it's okay, you will do better tomorrow,' or 'I know just how you feel cause I go off program too,' or fill in any number of idiotic replies that just don't get the job done. Our response to these threads will stop them if these posters know they will get no sympathy, only questions.

Why did you go off P?
Why didn't you ask for help before going off P?
Did going off P help your situation?
Did you feel better?
What will you do in the future when you want to go off P again?
What is your plan of action?
etc, etc, etc. No sympathy, just hard questions that must be answered.

I totally support the ideal that Cordy had to type up a generic reply for food p*rn threads and copy it to wordpad or in an internet folder or whereever you need to so that you can copy and paste the same reply each and every time. I think each of us should make up our own reply and try it out. Maybe it will help flush the board sooner if us so called 'hardcore' members stick to our guns and have replies ready and waiting. I also think it wouldn't hurt for a moderator to delete favorable replies to these threads and only leave the ones that will force the author to think before they push the food p*rn again.

One last thing, if I have offended anyone or hurt anyone's feelings, please be assured that this is not my intent. I only want to try to explain the reason this type of post is unacceptable and try to get us all to do something to alleviate the problem.
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Barbara
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returned to WW Dec 19, 2004
260/216/165
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