Posted by Panda Bear 62

Random Thoughts.....
Random Thoughts

I have been following WW since mid August, and have now lost over 30 pounds. (okay, who am I kidding....it's 32.4 pounds as of my last weigh in! I always know EXACTLY how much I have lost!) I've actually restarted WW numerous times, and have frequently stayed OP for 5-7 weeks, losing 15 pounds, and then something happens and I lose it, and can never seem to get it back.In fact, I eventually gain back my weight and then some. This cycle has been going on for over ten years, since the birth of my oldest child (who is 12 1/2)

When I restarted WW recently, I knew I had this history, and was worried about it. I hit the 6 week mark, and was doing okay, but then in the next week or two, I realized I was struggling. However, in a change from past attempts, I realized I really want to make it back to goal this time, and I HAD to figure out why I was blowing it all those previous times.


In the past, WW really was a diet for me. It wasn't a lifestyle change! I tended to eat the same foods over and over again, and got bored. I realized I was losing weight so I could go back and eat all those foods I had been avoiding. Around 4-6 weeks later, or after losing 10-15 pounds, I would have a situation where I overate, and then would just end up off the program.


So, here are some things I've done differently.

I really do work the program day to day, and at most week to week. I used to spend my time wondering how long it would take me to lose my weight...when would that be (around my birthday?? in summer??? at Thanksgiving???? and so on). I spent lots more time thinking about WHAT I would do WHEN I lost the weight, rather than focusing on WHAT I needed to be doing TO lose the weight.


I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA when I will reach my goal. Honestly, I no longer have any idea what my goal really is!!! I'll deal with it when I get there. A few months ago, I was happy when my size 24 pants were too big. Then I was excited when I bought size 20, and recently, I was happy when I bought size 18. Now I'm happy because the 18's are loose. I don't know when I'll fit into size 16's, or when I can (GASP!!!) leave the Women's section all together. IT WILL HAPPEN, I know, I'm just not worried about when.


In the same vein, I used to be obsessive about my scale. I weighed myself every day....sometimes even multiple times. I paid more attention to what the scale said, than to my behavior. If I ate a quart of ice cream, that was okay, as long as the scale didn't go up.


My scale is gone now. I weigh in once a week, at my meeting. Now I have to determine how my week is going by my BEHAVIOR, not a number on the scale.


I am now able to get myself back in control when I slip, so things don't get totally out of control. For example, I had a handful of M & M's last week. In previous attempts, that would be it. I'd have one handful, then another, then it was the whole bag, and a box of oreos and then some ice cream and so on. Now, when I do something mindless or impulsive like that, I stop myself, write it down, and move on. Am I mindlessly eating? Then I need to find something to do. Am I really hungry? Then I make myself something I'll be happy about eating. Truthfully, it's not the one slip that causes weight gain (at least no with me). It's what happens next.


I also have a daughter who is 10. She has tended to be heavier than she should. I have tried to influence her in better eating and have been relatively unsuccessful. Well, not anymore. She totally responds to suggestions now, and is making so much better food choices. For her baton competition tomorrow, we are packing fruit, those 100 calorie snack packs, the flavored waters. Because of her age, and how hard she works, we also bring along peanut butter in a tube, peanuts and canadian bacon (she needs protein, too!) She is a kid who really responds to what I do, not what I say. SHe still has a tummy, and could exercise more, but she is doing SO much better.


I am serving the family the same food as I make for myself, essentially. No more "separate meals for mom". I'll add something extra for the family (like a baked bread or dessert) that I may not eat, but that's it.


I also am spending more money on quality convenience food. Trader Joes has some great veggies that are in their refridgerator case, like squash, potatoes and beans. At $2 or $3 bucks a bag, they are not cheap, since it's for one meal. But they taste great. I now have them for meals 3 or 4 times a week. I also buy peeled and cut fruit. It's easier to add for lunches and bring out for snacks, since it's already prepped. I also buy my lean meat there, in family sized packs. I used to feel guilty, that I should go to Costco and package things myself, and save money. Not anymore. I look at what I think is healthiest for us as my first priority. And what's funny is we spend less now, even with my higher grocery bill, because we don't go out as much!


I want to keep on being successful. I have come to realize now that I need to know what is working for me, so I can conciously make those choices, so I can make it for the long haul. (I may not know what my eventual goal is, but I do know I have to lose a significant amount of weight still...like 50 pounds)


It has been the wierdest feeling for me to make peace with this......to know I'm in for the long haul and not feel overwhelmed, or depressed. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm now okay with his being a long journey. I am REALLY okay with where I am right now, even as I work towards the future.

Panda
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"...you may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down." Mary Pickford

8/19 RESTART
8/25 lost 4.2 pounds
9/1 lost 3.8 pounds TOTAL: 8 pounds
9/8 lost 1 pound TOTAL: 9 pounds