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Thread: Raising The White Flag

  1. #1

    Default Raising The White Flag

    I need help. Figured maybe this was the place? It was almost exactly 6 years ago that I joined this forum. (Although it's been around 3 1/2 years since I was really active in these forums.)

    I had a great run for seven years (2007 to 2013). The last 3 years have been rough. The last year has been really bad. The last five months have been TERRIBLE.

    Before I get into it, is anyone still around these days?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Replies
    14,261

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    Lots of us. I finally got myself back on track and dropped the 30 I had gained. Back to goal. You can do this. Can you go to meetings? I found them valuable.


    She was warned.
    She was given an explanation.
    Nevertheless, She persisted.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Delta, BC
    Replies
    10,080

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    I am still around Super. Still hanging at goal and keeping up my running. Just jump back in.
    Ann
    SW: 158.6 Dec. 10, 2010
    Goal weight: 137

    Current weight 128.2 July 18, 2014🐾🐾🐾



  4. #4

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    Thanks Ann and Peg. I am just SO DOWN. I've really worked myself into a really bad depression and I feel like there's no way out.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Delta, BC
    Replies
    10,080

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    Should you see somebody, Super? That might help. I have been where you are and I know how tough it is. I had the help of a lot of good friends and some meds for awhile and came out the other side, stronger than ever. We are here for you.
    Ann
    SW: 158.6 Dec. 10, 2010
    Goal weight: 137

    Current weight 128.2 July 18, 2014🐾🐾🐾



  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Up North
    Replies
    4,682

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    Hey Super, I am here though not as much. I check up on your blog every so often, and I have seen how you've struggled. I'm sorry buddy. I am struggling too. We were so strong for so long and nothing could deter us. I don't know what happen, but I need to get my chubby bu*t back to goal.

    Feel free to stop by the Delta thread if you'd like.
    Trudie
    HW: 190.4/SW: 180.2 5/23/07
    CW: phat PGW: 138 WWGW: 155

  7. Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    Hi, I am new as well. Fell off the wagon so to speak and need to buckle down before I gain any more. Only 5 pounds over goal, which is not much, but enough to make my clothes uncomfortable. Will search around this site and look for tips and hints. Thanks for listening!

  8. #8

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    Quote Originally Posted by Shir-elle View Post
    Hi, I am new as well. Fell off the wagon so to speak and need to buckle down before I gain any more. Only 5 pounds over goal, which is not much, but enough to make my clothes uncomfortable. Will search around this site and look for tips and hints. Thanks for listening!
    Take my advice - kill that 5 before it becomes 25. It's easy to lose 5 if you try. Much harder when it's 25. Follow the program and get it done. Best of luck. You CAN do it.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    Quote Originally Posted by k9dancer View Post
    Should you see somebody, Super? That might help. I have been where you are and I know how tough it is. I had the help of a lot of good friends and some meds for awhile and came out the other side, stronger than ever. We are here for you.
    Thanks Ann.

    Without question, I need help. But, I am not getting it at home. In fact, home is one of the larger stress creators that I have going now. I also can't see a pro now because I cannot afford it, plus, I don't want that on my record. I once had that backfire on me. Years ago, I mentioned to my doctor that I was feeling depressed. Well, he wrote in down in my folder. Years later, I was trying to buy some life insurance and they wanted my medical records. Sure, what do I have to hide? Big mistake. They saw that he once wrote depression - which I causally mentioned to him! - and, because of that, they wouldn't give me the insurance. True story. Also, I sort of don't trust the pros. Some of them are good. Some just want to string you along for visits until your plan runs out of coverage. Lastly, I don't take drugs. I have to me near my deathbed before I consider it. I just don't trust them.

    But, without question, I need some help. And, not getting any makes it worse.

  10. #10

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Chubber View Post
    Hey Super, I am here though not as much. I check up on your blog every so often, and I have seen how you've struggled. I'm sorry buddy. I am struggling too. We were so strong for so long and nothing could deter us. I don't know what happen, but I need to get my chubby bu*t back to goal.

    Feel free to stop by the Delta thread if you'd like.

    Hey Trudie! So sorry to hear you are having some issues too.

    Here's the thing. I am now convinced that the program WORKS and, yet, it DOESN'T WORK. Yes, it works to lose the weight. It's simple math, when you boil it down. And, yes, it works as long as you stick to it. That's the hard part. For some, it's hard to do it for a few months. Others can stick with it for YEARS. But, if you don't address your bigger issues, then it becomes impossible to stick with the program forever.

    My issues are not being able to deal well with stress and easily becoming depressed. Those are not uncommon. It's the rare person who does well with stress. To combat stress, people do different things.

    Personally, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't gamble and I don't chase skirts. I don't have that thrill outlet that many use to offset their stress. For me, when I am stressed, or bored, I eat. It's that simple.

    At a WW meeting once, I asked my excellent leader about it. Many suggest exercise as an outlet. And, that makes sense. But, when you're home and your teenagers are out of control over something that happened in school, and your spouse is screaming at them and you at the same time, and that's laid on top of other huge issues that's preying on your sanity, that's not the best time to make the announcement "Oh, I am going out for a run now."

    My leader suggested that's the time where you just go out into the backyard and scream at the top of your lungs to let out the stress.

    Trust me, if I did that, it would not be pretty. I'm like the Hulk, you don't want to make me angry. I have to work very hard to check my anger.

    So, instead, I eat 8 chocolate chip cookies in the span of 30 seconds. What a loser.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Up North
    Replies
    4,682

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    Super, you have recognized some problems. I would think running would help relieve some of your stress.

    I hate to say it, but maybe now isn't the right time for you to focus on your weight until you work through some other issues. Or maybe try doing an 80/20 program. Versus 100% Op all the time. That's too hard right now. Baby steps. You can't change everything overnight.

    You will find your way when your life settles down some. That however isn't a pass to just eat whatever and not care. Maybe you can just find a compromise with your eating. I just don't know what to tell you. It seems you were struggling a bit before your job was eliminated too. Forgive yourself for your food failures and move forward the best you can Buddy!
    Trudie
    HW: 190.4/SW: 180.2 5/23/07
    CW: phat PGW: 138 WWGW: 155

  12. #12

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    Thanks Trudie. For sure, the struggle started before the layoff. But, one-third of the weight gain has been in the 4 months since the layoff. So, it's getting worse.

    When I think about it, I am good from the time I wake up until about 3 PM. Great in the morning. Pretty good, most of the time, for lunch. Where it breaks down is the last 7 hours (or so) of the day. Then again, most times, that's when my wife and kids are home. I am usually home along before 3 PM.

  13. #13

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    SB, that sounds like my husband. Once dinner is done and we sit watch TV, snacky feelings appear. It weird how "you" (me) don't even really think about the gain and then you cant stop the gains from happening; like a roller coaster. Going back to meeting helped me. I like the smart points and the approach to losing/maintaining wt.
    Good to see you back on the board.
    Tracking is my new normal
    goal reached 1999 and 2011 and 20??



  14. #14
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Up North
    Replies
    4,682

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    How's it going Super?
    Trudie
    HW: 190.4/SW: 180.2 5/23/07
    CW: phat PGW: 138 WWGW: 155

  15. #15

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    Quote Originally Posted by cheryl39 View Post
    SB, that sounds like my husband. Once dinner is done and we sit watch TV, snacky feelings appear. It weird how "you" (me) don't even really think about the gain and then you cant stop the gains from happening; like a roller coaster. Going back to meeting helped me. I like the smart points and the approach to losing/maintaining wt.
    Good to see you back on the board.
    Thanks Cheryl. Yeah, I need to get to a meeting. It's been over four months. I ALMOST went last week and then punked out.

  16. #16

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Chubber View Post
    How's it going Super?
    Hey Trudie. It was a long weekend. I had to get up at 5 AM each day and then take a 2 hour drive to get my son to his baseball tournaments - and then drive 2 hours back home. Adding in time for games, that was basically my whole weekend. Today, I had some family stuff to do as well. I hope to get back to running tomorrow. I also got a lead on a job today. But, it's far from being close to something. All I have is that I know someone who knows the person doing the interviewing. Maybe that helps? For sure, getting a job will go a long way towards getting me back on track. Thanks for asking.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Up North
    Replies
    4,682

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    Hoping that works out for you Super. Sometimes who you know is what it takes. I am staying positive for you. Keep us posted!
    Trudie
    HW: 190.4/SW: 180.2 5/23/07
    CW: phat PGW: 138 WWGW: 155

  18. #18

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    Thanks Trudie.

    Without question, it's going to happen via networking. The statistics show that's what works best.

    On the weight front, for whatever reason, I feel determined today. I've done a lot of soul searching and, at this point, it comes down to two things.

    First, it's like I tell the kids that I coach in baseball: If you want it, stop wishing for it and start working for it. In WW terms, that's "If it is to be, it's up to me."

    The second thing is about control and ownership. If I am putting crap in my mouth, eating mindlessly (etc.), that's on me. It's not the food's fault. It's no one's fault but mine. I control my hands and my mouth - no one else. Saying "it's because I am stressed" is an excuse. The real issue is that it's a lack of self control - pain and simple. I need to own it and control it.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Up North
    Replies
    4,682

    Default Re: Raising The White Flag

    Quote Originally Posted by Super Bowl XLI View Post

    On the weight front, for whatever reason, I feel determined today. I've done a lot of soul searching and, at this point, it comes down to two things.

    First, it's like I tell the kids that I coach in baseball: If you want it, stop wishing for it and start working for it. In WW terms, that's "If it is to be, it's up to me."

    The second thing is about control and ownership. If I am putting crap in my mouth, eating mindlessly (etc.), that's on me. It's not the food's fault. It's no one's fault but mine. I control my hands and my mouth - no one else. Saying "it's because I am stressed" is an excuse. The real issue is that it's a lack of self control - pain and simple. I need to own it and control it.
    YAY! Take this determined day and run with it!!! What you said it so true. You're preaching to the choir Buddy! And if hunger isn't the problem, food isn't going to fix it.

    I had a recent bout of drama and crap going on. I couldn't believe how that triggered TERRIBLE eating for me. Yes, it's an excuse, but sadly a reality of what stress can do. So I had to do some self talking to work through it. It's easy to tell yourself you don't care in those situations, but we all very well know that we really do.

    Of course, accountability here is HUGE for me. I keeping coming back here, because I CAN'T do it on my own.

    Keep working it Buddy. One meal, one day at a time. It can happen! I keep telling myself that, because it just has to!! I hate my body right now, so that takes a toll on the old self esteem. Let's do this!!
    Trudie
    HW: 190.4/SW: 180.2 5/23/07
    CW: phat PGW: 138 WWGW: 155

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