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Thread: Different ways of looking at things

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Grand Island, Florida
    Replies
    58

    Default Different ways of looking at things

    DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'
    The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'

    ---------------------- -----------------------------------


    'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
    'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'

    ---------------------------------------------------------


    A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
    'Me neither doc,' said the husband.
    'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'

    -----------------------------------


    An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
    The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
    The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'

    -----------------------------------


    Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
    1. The DNA all matches.
    2. There are no dental records.

    -----------------------------------

    A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
    The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
    'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.

    -----------------------------------


    Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez..
    'How was he killed?' asked one detective.
    'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.
    'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'
    'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'

    -----------------------------------


    Moe: 'My wife
    A man is recovering from surgery when the surgical nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
    'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
    'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
    The man replied....'Oops!'

    -----------------------------------


    While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had
    even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
    'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
    'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
    He's still in intensive care.

    -----------------------------------

    The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.
    The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there' .
    "Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on . . . ." Philippians 3:12a

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Chihuahua Mexico
    Replies
    137

    Exclamation Re: Different ways of looking at things

    Hi bettysue,

    I thought these jokes were so funny until I read the one of the " Mexican detectives " of course THAT one didn't make me laugh since, as you know, I am Mexican. I am a little bit offended you know? Are you trying to say that we are stupid people? I speak two languages, I'm a believer married to a Pastor who is also an accountant. I went to college. I have a master degree in financial management so, with all respect: WE are not that stupid after all. Don't you think?

    Mexico is a poor country yes, but you should come a live among us befor you can judge things....
    Lily

    SW 158. CW 134. GW 127

  3. #3
    TryingWW Guest

    Default Re: Different ways of looking at things

    Lilly,

    I don't think there is anything to be offended by because it was a play on words (Juan/One). I didn't take it to be an inference on stupidity at all. It is a golf joke. There aren't many names that sound like "one."

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Chihuahua Mexico
    Replies
    137

    Default Re: Different ways of looking at things

    So....over 110 looks at this thread with only one answer?

    Thank you very much you all Americans!

    I think I willnot post anymore. This site has been a real help to me but I found worthless posting.
    Lily

    SW 158. CW 134. GW 127

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Chihuahua Mexico
    Replies
    137

    Default Re: Different ways of looking at things

    Dee: ??????? Didn't get it.
    Lily

    SW 158. CW 134. GW 127

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Seattle
    Replies
    0
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: Different ways of looking at things

    I thought the whole thing was hysterical! You guys are kidding about the offended thing right? I like the bikini one...I had to forward this to my husband!

  7. Default Re: Different ways of looking at things

    So let me understand, you thought the jokes were funny until you read the one about the Mexican Detective?
    So the Redneck joke about us folks from the South didn't offend you, or the Blonde joke about those of us with lighter hair didn't offend?
    WOW!! You really need to lighten up and laugh at yourself.
    I thought the jokes were great.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Different ways of looking at things

    roses4teacher
    Thank you for saying what I was afraid to say. Sad but true. I too was a bit taken back by lily being offended by the Mexican joke but not by the cuts to all of the other groups being made fun of. I took the jokes as they were meant to be taken......... in fun.

    BeanBlossom Nope she was truly offended...............
    Kathy


    Over goal and not happy

  9. #9
    Hearts&Flowers Guest

    Default Re: Different ways of looking at things

    Please step back and laugh at these jokes. They are meant in fun. No one wants to offend you in any way, nor do they think Mexicans are stupid.

    I have a Greek heritage and actually love hearing jokes about Greek people. I say...bring it on...make me laugh!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Chihuahua Mexico
    Replies
    137

    Default Re: Different ways of looking at things

    GOT YOU!!!!!! How funny! I was joking too!!! LOL!

    Thank you beanblossom!
    Take it easy. We also have jokes about everybody including Americans!


    Have a nice OP day.
    Lily

    SW 158. CW 134. GW 127

  11. #11

    Default Re: Different ways of looking at things

    Oddly enough, I didn't find your joke funny.
    Hoppy

    Lifetime - 02/22/08

    I will not weigh more tomorrow morning than I did this morning! ~Colleen

    http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com - please click daily

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Chihuahua Mexico
    Replies
    137

    Default Re: Different ways of looking at things

    Im sorry you guys if I offended you. I think both parts where a lillte ofended don't you think? I think it will be better for me to leave this forum. We certanly don't share the same way of thinking, I mean, I'm the only Mexican here and seems like nobody understand me!! You laugh when I don't I Laugh when you don't!

    So I'm not leaving mad or sad or dissapointed, just like a mature person that just feel like don't quite match with most of you.


    And once again: I'm sorry.

    Lily

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